The Problem of Perfectionism

Do you feel not quite good enough much of the time?

Avoid starting projects for worry you’ll fail? 

Miss deadlines because you’re still working to get it just right? 

Fear others seeing less than your best? 

Is "average" an ugly word?

If so, it's likely you are plagued by perfectionism. I talked about this some in my devotion today published with Proverbs 31.

PERFECTIONISM = a set of self-defeating thoughts and behaviors driving you to set, and to expect to reach, excessively high or unrealistic goals.

As I pointed out in the devotion, it usually causes us to hyper-focus on our appearance and performance rather than our motives and character. Plus, it often adds emotional instability to our lives.

Sometimes it only manifests in one area of our life like our job, our craft or the cleanliness of our home.

Other times it runs rampant, causing us to be super-controlling. Or, on the flip side, to slack off and procrastinate because if we don't think we can do it perfectly, we don't want to try.

And when perfectionism comes to church, it sets us on a misguided path of achieving righteousness with our works, or earning God's favor.  Talk about setting excessively high goals!

Our perfectionistic striving often leaves us feeling like we come up short. Like we just don't fully have what it takes. So 2 Peter 1:3 has some good news for us:

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness." (NIV) 

That's the Bible telling you that you have what it truly takes. You are fully capable - in Christ you have access to everything you need - to live the life that God creates for you.

Maybe not to live the life you want to create for yourself, but for the life He wants to create for you. Which, trust me on this, that is the life you really want.

Leave a comment telling me how perfectionism usually raises its ugly head in your life, and I'll pray for you in this. You can pray for me as well to focus on my character over my performance.

And if you want more on this topic, I elaborate further and give a short Bible study on it in chapter 7 of my book It's No Secret: Revealing Divine Truths Every Woman Should Know. I'll pick a random winner from today's comments to receive a copy.

Have a terrific day - without sweating the small stuff. (wink)

Writing like Mad (Men)

Do you ever go to costume parties?  Last fall I was invited by some friends from the university - no, not students - to attend a "Man Men" themed party. Everyone was to dress up like a character from the show (or at least that general era).

I was familiar with the award-winning TV show about advertising execs in 1960's but hadn't watched as much as a full episode, so I decided to tune in for one. The show is a little randy, to use their vernacular. And I had a hard time getting use to all the smoking and drinking they do at work. But it's also smartly written, and their style is fabulous.

See what I mean? This was a great excuse to buy a retro-chic southern-looking dress.

So maybe that's why I loved this post on writing by Jonathan Morrow at Copyblogger called "The Mad Men Guide to Changing the World With Your Words." You have to admit, that's a creative angle for a post.

If you're a writer, check it out and see if you agree with Jonathan and the fictional Don Draper. By the way, the show's writers are mostly females in their 20's to 50's.

Now I'm off to do some more of what looks like nothing in hopes of uncovering the next great idea and changing the world. Then I'll put on a fabulous dress and write like mad. 

You watch this show? If you decide to tune in now, just know that I warned you, it's randy!

The Gift that is January

It seems fitting that each year concludes with reveling. With time off from work and routine to celebrate family and blessings - and the One we have to thank for both.  

With Christmas, New Year's Eve, and both my children's birthdays in a two week period of time, I did plenty of celebrating. I also did quite a bit of indulging in the process.

I was staying up later than usual, followed by sleeping in later than usual. I kept the downstairs clean but let my office and bedroom get cluttered. My girlfriend Kati brought me a tin of cookies, and I ate as many as I wanted. Plus Chex Mix.

I did a pretty good job of exercising up until Christmas, but after that notsomuch - unless you count shopping as exercise, or playing drums with the band on New Year's Eve.

Letting things slide while I indulge a little is fun. It feels good, decadent and worth it. And I think at the time I could sooo live this way every day -  I'd never tire of it!

But then I do. And I begin craving structure, order, growth and discipline.

I start wanting the feeling of accomplishment more than the feeling of indulgence.



So it seems fitting that the end of the year with all it's revelry is followed by New Year's with all it's emphasis on renewal and self-improvement.

And that is the great gift of the cold, quiet month of January.

It's a time for reordering. For reestablishing. For recommitting. In the slow pace of winter.

"Indolence is a delightful but distressing state: we must be doing something to be happy."

~ William Hazlitt

There is purpose in the rhythms and seasons of life. There is a need to break routine and to reestablish it throughout the year. I very much go with the flow that way. How about you, are you ready for the purposeful push of January or are you still hanging on to the indulgent mindset of December?

Clean Start

Fresh Possibility.

A Finish Line, followed by a Start Line.

A season of revelry, followed by a season of renewed focus and discipline.

A Clean Slate.

This is what appeals to us about a new year.

Today I have an uber healthy, cleansing soup in the crock pot. I'm making my to-read list for the next three months. I'm changing all the sheets on the beds, airing out the duvets and straightening up my closet.

I'm praying over my next MY ONE WORD. I think I know what it will be. One came to me two weeks ago, but I always take several weeks to let it fully arise. More on that later.

Today I'm working on my inspiration notebooks. In the last chapter of It's No Secret I talked about keeping notebooks - full of images, articles, hand-written notes, quotes and verses - that remind me what is important to me, what my priorities are.  I look through them regularly to motivate me to keep my priorities a priority.

Because we often forget our priorities, don't we? Or at least we fail to keep to them.

That's why we like a new year - it's a fresh chance to realign and begin again. It's a time pregnant with possibility. It's a call to renew our vows to God and self.

So here's to 2012. What are you doing in this first day of the year?

Happy New Year!