Learn to Love What You Hate

I'd much rather be at my computer, composing something or reading something, than doing housework. I'd rather run errands, exercise or cook dinner than clean. I don't like housework.

I like a clean house; I just don't like the process that brings that result. Or do I?

No, I've never liked housework. It's tedious. It's boring. Not stimulating at all. I wish I liked it since it's so, well, daily.

A few weeks ago my son had an accident - he fell from a zip line. He stayed home 24/7 for nearly two weeks while recovering before going back to school. I still have to feed him every few hours as he is on a liquid diet (he had to have oral surgery).

As you might imagine, I had a lot of adrenalin flowing initially. As that drained it was followed by surges in whatever hormone gives a mother that strong desire to make sure her baby is safe and healing well. So I stayed home nearly 24/7 keeping busy around the house ... cooking soup for him, cleaning, fluffing his pillow, organizing, changing his sheets every two days, etc.

I wasn't on the computer much at all. I couldn't really escape into a screen or run any errands because I felt the need to be fully present in my home, for my son. And I wanted to make my home as conducive as possible to his recovery, and to my sanity.

Two weeks after immersing myself in housework with gusto daily, I decided that I don't mind housework as much as I thought I did. How can that be when I hate housework and always have?

Hold on and I'll answer that question.  But first, is there something you dislike that you really wish you loved?

WHAT DO YOU HATE DOING?

Here are just a few things many of us avoid because we deem them unpleasant.

• Eating Right
• Living on a Budget
• Disciplining our Children
• Taking Risks/Trying Something New
• Exercising
• Honoring our Husband's Lead
• Saving Money
• Taming our Tongue
• Cleaning our Home
• Doing our Bills or Taxes
• Staying Organized

Thing is, when we anticipate something will be unpleasant - boring, difficult or cause us some sort of pain -  we avoid it. We procrastinate. We make excuses. We spend energy dreading and avoiding it rather than doing it. In short, we hate it.

Here's what I want you to notice: Avoiding it and hating it is already causing you stress and pain!

Hating it is draining your energy and leaving it undone is costing you something. Pounds. Dollars. Peace of Mind. Influence. Happiness. Health. Something.

So you are creating unpleasantness for yourself, and possibly your family as well, by ignoring and avoiding something you know needs doing because you deem doing it unpleasant. 

I know, I've been there too. You are figuring the unpleasantness of dreading it or skipping doing it is less than the unpleasantness of doing it. But is that assumption accurate? And wouldn't you rather learn to love what you have to do but hate doing?

LET'S START TO REHAB THAT ATTITUDE.

What can you do to help you learn to love, or at least like what it is that you hate?  That's what I'll be talking about in my next several posts. Today we'll start the process with some questions to consider.

I'm going to give you a set of four questions to ask yourself about that task that you hate. These questions come from the incredibly intelligent, mega successful and uber inspirational Dr. Ben Carson. (Read his biography here.)

Dr. Carson suggests we interview ourselves when deciding what we will do, using these questions:

• What is the best thing that can happen if I do this?
• What is the worst thing that can happen if I do this?
• What is the best thing that can happen if I don’t do it?
• What is the worst thing that can happen if I don’t do it?

That is step number one to learning to like doing what you currently avoiding doing: analyze the reality of the consequences of doing it, and of not doing it.

Which outcome do you want? 

This ANALYSIS will help you deal in reality. It will help you see that in most cases procrastinating or ignoring is ultimately just as painful as doing the unpleasant task. And at times, more so. Plus we often procrastinate and dread it much longer than it would take us to just complete the task and feel pleased that it's done.

This will also help you begin to form the second thing you will need in order to learn to love what you hate. But that's the topic of my next post. So stay tuned. Meanwhile examine your possible outcomes and tell yourself or me - in writing - which outcome you truly want.
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What is one thing you often avoid that you need to learn to love?

If you are serious about changing your attitude towards this, answer the four questions about that task in the comments below or in your journal.  And come back Wednesday for step two.

Going Green (smoothies)

My son had his first follow-up with the oral surgeon today - all is progressing well. I'm so grateful for that good news.

The last several days have been a blur - literally. With Caleb on an all liquid diet, some friends of ours loaned us their Vitamixer.  I whirl up breakfast. I blend up a mid-morning snack. I puree lunch. I make a shake mid-afternoon. And then comes the question Caleb dreads, "Hey Bud, what do you want to drink for dinner?"

He wants steak. He wants cheeseburgers. He wants Chinese take-out.

Last night I made an awesome tortilla soup. I dropped the soup and the chips in the Vitamix and blended for a few seconds. I waited to see his reaction after his first bite. A big smile. (Or at least as big as he can manage right now.)  I tried his and thought it tasted tremendously good!

Meanwhile I'm becoming addicted to the green smoothie I make us every morning: green grapes, pineapple chunks, 1 organge, 1 apple, 1 large carrot, 1 banana and 2 cups of spinach. Sometimes I thin it further for Caleb with some green tea.

I actually look forward to this now.

And I love that we get the fiber as well as the juice.

Rick and I have an anniversary coming up in May. I may lobby that we get one of these Vitamix machines as our gift to each other (and Caleb). Not very romantic, but rather yummy and very energizing!

The Difference a Day Makes

What a difference a day makes.

In my last post, nearly a week ago, I talked about making Spring plans.

On Tuesday, one day after posting that, my spring plans were severely interrupted.

On Tuesday evening my son fell from a friend's zip-line and smacked face-first into the steel frame of a trampoline. The impact fractured his upper palate in several places, knocked out several teeth and pushed others way out of place. He also got a cut above his eye that required 9 stitches.

Within minutes of seeing what happened to him, I passed out cold and hit my head on a hard floor - leaving two goose-egg bumps that are now bruises. To say I don't handle blood, cuts or medical trauma well is accurate an understatement.

I'd started writing my life plan, writing some devotions, and prepping for some upcoming speaking engagements last week. In addition to finishing those, I'd planned on cleaning out some closets, decluttering, and doing a little deep cleaning. Instead I've been in ER rooms, dentist's offices, oral surgeons offices and on my knees.

I am happy to say Caleb came through the oral surgery well on Friday. But we still have a long dental-treatment road ahead of us. To those of you who heard about his accident and prayed for us ... many, many thanks.

To those of you willing to pause and pray today - for continued restoration, for healthy teeth and roots, for no tooth discoloration, and for wisdom on how to proceed from here - many, many thanks.

So my new spring plans are to nurse my baby back to health as best I can. He is on an all liquid diet for the next few weeks - that alone is throwing me for a bit of a loop. (Please send your best soup recipes!)

I feel a lot stirring in me, underground. But I have no poignant points to make right now other than God is good. And the fact that sometimes our best-laid plans get interrupted. And once in a while, gut-wrenching stuff gets placed in our path.

The sun rises and the rain falls on the just and the unjust alike.


Through this awful week I've clung to Jesus. Where else would I go? He has the words of Life.

And through it all I've found Him faithful and more than sufficient.

The day after the accident someone happened to quote my book in a tweet, "In God's kingdom, painful situations are catalysts for glorious transformation. #ItsNoSecret @RachelOlsen." 

I believe that.

So I guess God's plans for me and my family this spring is transformation of some sort. I'll take that.

I'm thankful that in God's design, mourning is always followed by rejoicing, and death is always followed by resurrection. I bet those gathering at Jesus' tomb some 2012 years ago were also thinking "What a difference a day makes."

Happy Easter, my friends.

May yours be transformative as well (minus the medical trauma and the passing out of course!)

Spring Plans

“Spring is the time of plans and projects,” wrote Lea Tolstoy in Anna Karenina.

I'm inclined to agree. As the earth wakes back to vibrant life, so do we.

Warm breezes blow in renewed energy.

   Budding blooms bring forth new ideas.

Rain-kissed air stirs up fresh vision. 

I set about deep cleaning the house. I head outdoors to play and exercise. Longer days make walks after dinner with Rick ideal. The beach beckons.

I dig in the dirt. I plant and anticipate the taste of the harvest.

I sort through and revamp my wardrobe. Exchanging the deep polish shades of winter for brighter, lighter hues.

My outlook brightens as well. I dream new dreams, feeling the quiet but confident ability to accomplish something new. And somehow, it's what's happening outside my window, outside my door, that makes this feel possible.

And so I start planning.  Right now I am working my way through Michael Hyatt's e-book Creating Your Personal Life Plan. It's a free download if you want to try it. Just follow that link.



What plans are you making this spring?

Do you have any kind of a personal life plan?