To my readers

This week Melissa Taylor is wrapping up her online study of  It's No Secret. I recognize it's no small thing to purchase a book and then spend hours of of your free time reading it - so I'm honored that you've done that with us. I consider it a privilege to be able to share some of my life and some of the Word of God with you through these pages this spring.

Did you take Melissa's INS Super Challenge? I pray God fuels your efforts as you focus in on your chosen areas. Remember, your main task is just staying plugged into Him. Spiritual maturity isn't something we manage to produce for God, it's something He produces in us as we yield to Him. As Andy Stanley says, "God takes full responsibility for the life fully devoted to him."

As a writer who spills her guts, shares her stories and teaches scripture into a blinking black cursor on a white screen day after day - knowing it will be a year before any readers see it - it's been so rewarding to hear your responses to the book. On your blogs, on Facebook, over email, and here in comments. 

I'll let you in on a little secret. Writers - even "professional writers" - don't always know if what they've written is any good. If it will connect with anyone. If it will help anyone. Some days you are sure it will. Other days, well, you spend a lot of time pressing delete. It can be nerve-wracking to write something book-length with those questions bouncing around your head for months.

So I have a favor to ask of you. I'm working on another book right now, with those same questions and fears bouncing around in my head.  I'd love to be able to cover a bulletin board in my office with photos of smiling readers holding It''s No Secret, so that when I start to waiver or doubt, I'll remember you. And pray for us both.

If you're willing, email me a photo of you with the book - it can be you in your favorite reading spot or coffee shop, or you standing by a famous landmark in your hometown. Send to rachel@proverbs31(dot)org. If you'd rather, mail to the Proverbs 31 office.  I can't wait to see your faces!

I just wanted to take this time to say "thank you" to my readers.  And Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there.

What's that on your head? (and INS week 5 link-up)

Today I'm seeing my kids off to school, packing my suitcase, and heading to Atlanta to speak at First Baptist on Saturday.  It's a mother-daughter luncheon with a garden party theme.  I wish I could take my own daughter, Alaina - the one you "met" in chapter 10 this week if you are reading along with Melissa.  But she has a talent show Friday night at her school and a soccer game on Saturday morning.

The attire for this luncheon is "southern garden party with hats welcomed." So you know I had to find a proper Southern hat to wear with my dress.  And I found one, at T.J. Maxx.  I put it on tonight with my dress and modeled it for Alaina.  She exclaimed, "I love that hat!"   Then I went upstairs and found Rick.  His eyes got really big.  Clearly he was surprised but I couldn't tell if it was a good surprised or a bad surprised.

"So whaddya think?"

"Wow ... wow ..."

"Wow, what??"

"Wow ... that's a hat."

That was all he would say.  I'm not sure how to take that. If I manage to get a picture of me this weekend in the hat, I'll post it and you can tell me if it's fashion fabulous or fashion faux pas.

My friend Brenda from church wants to see a picture of it too.  If I don't get a picture, maybe I'll wear the outfit with the hat to church Sunday for her ... and see if Rick walks 5 steps behind me or not.

If you blogged this week about the chapters in It's No Secret, feel free to link up below.  And if you have any idea how to travel on a plane with a hat, without a hat box, without crushing it and without wearing it, do let me know!

On the Road Again

A couple weeks ago I came across a powerful article on living generously. I thought those of you stuyding It's No Secret with us might want to read it.

I'm hitting the road today to speak at Grey Stone church in Durham, NC tonight.  Then I'll spend the night with my friend Amy Carroll who lives nearby - looking forward to some girlfriend time!

Hope you have a great day.

Blessed to Give

We're reading chapter 5 in It's No Secret this week and talking about giving. Is giving something that comes hard or easy for you? It doesn't come natural to me, but I do recall a few early times I wanted to give...

A strong early memory I have of wanting to give someone a gift dates back to elementary school. I wanted to give my dad a Father’s Day present – an actual gift, not just a picture I’d colored for him. Only I had no way to go buy a present. So I rooted around in the back of his closet and found an old, probably out-of-style tie that I had never seen him wear. I wrapped it up and presented it to him. Dad played along, pretending he didn’t recognize it. He smiled, hugged and thanked me.

I beamed over his apparent pleasure as I got my first taste that it is more blessed to give than receive. Up until that early point in my life, I'd only really received.


I also recall the first time I gave to a stranger. With my newly minted driver’s license in my jeans pocket, I headed to the mall with a friend. At a stop light I noticed a man outside with a sign that read: “Will work for food.” I’d never seen anything like this.

I continued on to the mall but couldn’t get him out of my mind. As I turned my two-seater around, my friend questioned, “Where are you going?” “To buy that guy back there some food,” I said. I certainly had no work to offer him.

We went through the Hardees’ drive-thru and I used the paycheck from my part-time job to buy a value meal. I couldn’t fully read it, but I’ll never forget the look on his face when I pulled up to the intersection, held out the bag and said, “Here you go.” He paused for a few seconds, with that look, then accepted it and kindly said, “Thank you very much.”

Years later I realize this could well have been a scam. Some who beg are not destitute or honest. Some don’t intend to work for food at all. At the time though, that never occurred to me. And something good was cemented in my heart that day as I experienced what it felt like to help a stranger in need. So I care not if he was for real, because I learned a very real lesson about blessing others from him.

I learned the act of giving blesses me as well.

Can I challenge you to keep your eyes out this week for someone you can give to?

INS week 2 round-up

I'm on the road today - well, actually on a plane - to speak at a women's conference this weekend.  But tonight I'll return to my hotel room, put on my jeans, fix some tea and log on to read your comments & posts.

This was a challenging week of chapters.  It's hard to swallow our pride, or lay down our rights, or relinquish our desire to fight back when insulted. It's stinkin' hard! I haven't always done it. But I've found that when I do go to Christ for my comfort and strength, and trust Him with the situation, I feel empowered.  Empowered even though I'm not fighting back. It's a paradoxical, priceless feeling.

“‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”  ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

So what have we learned this week? Stop competing for a share of "the good life." Stop trying to create a name and life for yourself - then you'll find the life He creates for you. That life is going to include humility and service.  It's not always an easy life, but it's a good life under the banner of His name. Besides, let's be honest - it was never easy trying to create life for ourselves on our own, asking God to bless it.

I have a note card taped up by my desk. On it I wrote this note-to-self: "The secret of true gospel change is being convinced that Jesus is the good life and the source of my joy." It's when I lose sight of that that I start comparing, competing and selling out to things not worth selling out to.

Maybe you'll want to write that down too, and put it somewhere you'll see it regularly.

So, got an INS related blog post you want to share?  I'd love to read it.



And if you haven't read Melissa Taylor's last post - it's worth the read.

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!

I'm hearing some great feedback on the It's No Secret study. That encourages me. Many have commented about how challenging (in a good way) it is. I guess I should have warned you that I teach college ... so I write challenging study questions!

A Yahweh Sister reading with us wrote to ask about one of the study questions on page 95: "At what point are you free to retaliate?" She wanted to know, "Are we ever free to retaliate or can we hold the one we forgive accountable if he in turn chooses not to forgive?"  

Girls, this is tough stuff!  It seems so simple - be humble, be kind, trust God.  It's seems like no-brainer Christianity.  But it's really challenging stuff to apply.

I think someone could casually read through this book - skipping the study questions - and enjoy it for it's stories and girlfriendy style.  It can be a quick, easy read. And they might conclude, "That was a nice overview of basic Christian principals."

Oh, but I believe it's so much more than a simple overview - I think the stuff in these chapters is where the rubber meets the road in our journey to become like Christ. It has been in my life. I can memorize the order of the books of the Bible.  I can debate with you who wrote the book of Hebrews and whether or not Song of Solomon is a literal or allegorical story.  But what really matters is how I love God and love others.

And how I handle my pride and ego.

So back to her question.  The answer is at no point are we free to retaliate according to God's Word.  But there's a difference between confronting in love and retaliating.  There is a difference between holding someone accountable for their actions and retaliating against them. The challenge is to check your motives and make sure your "holding accountable" isn't really retaliation in disguise.

Retaliation is driven by the desire to hurt someone back. To get revenge, or get "even" as we call it. It's the, "I'll get you my, little pretty, and your little dog too!" sentiment. That is different than confronting someone in love about their sin with the hopes of restoring them.  Or, letting someone know that they've hurt you repeatedly, and you've forgiven them, but you feel the need to distance yourself some in this relationship but will continue to pray for them.

Make sense?

In the movies we see some guy cheating on his girl repeatedly while telling her she's the only one he is dating. We get mad for her. We want him to be punished. Finally, she finds out about it and goes to the other girl's house. Finding his car out front when he is supposedly at work, she slashes all four tires. And we stop eating popcorn long enough to cheer for her. Yeah, that serves him right!  He had that coming.  That'll teach him!  I know, I cheer too.

It makes for a satisfying plot line - or a hit song for Carrie Underwood - but really,  it's no example we should follow. We're to choose door #3, take it to Christ, and leave the "teaching" to Him. Oh, and resolve to pick a better boyfriend next time.  (wink)

We do not have to be doormats, but we do have to be righteous in all our dealings - even when we feel hurt. Not easy. Clear, but not simple. It takes restraint. This doesn't make us weak, but strong. And it makes Christ - our defender - pleased.

To read more on the topic of overlooking offsenses and little interpersonal slights, check out this post.

Tomorrow I'll put another link-up here so if you've written an INS blog post you can share it.

Your Secret to Greatness

Did you read chapter 3 yet?

Ever noticed how upset people get when someone cuts in line? In elementary school, it was a great offense! Watch a driver’s reaction when someone cuts them off in traffic, and you’ll realize things haven’t changed much since school. We don’t like people getting ahead of us.

Jesus knew this. He talked to His disciples about it in his last few days before His crucifixion.

In Mark 8, Jesus predicts His death for the first time. Then He calls His disciples to His side and says: “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it” (vs. 34-35, NLT).

Soon after, on the road to Capernaum, Jesus told them again of his coming death, but they didn’t understand. They began talking among themselves as they followed behind Jesus. They were arguing about which of them would be at the front of the line in God’s kingdom.

Once they arrived, Jesus asked them, “"What were you arguing about on the road?" But they kept quiet because they had argued about who was the greatest. Then Jesus sat down and called the Twelve to Him and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all" (Mark 9:33-35, NLT).

After leaving Capernaum, the group met a wealthy young man of status on the road - the one we read about in chapter 2. He asked Jesus what he could do to gain eternal life. After a short discussion, Jesus told him to sell his possessions and follow Him. However, the man did not wish to give up his elite life of comfort and power … even if it would lead to eternal life. And he walked away, depressed.

The disciples, while not nearly as wealthy to start with, had done what Jesus told this rich man to do. They had left everything to follow Christ. And Peter mentioned this to Jesus - we saw this in the last chapter, remember? So Jesus' reply will sound familiar - but read it thru though b/c I'm quoting here from Luke rather than Matthew and there's some extra parts I want you to see.

Jesus replied: “And I assure you that everyone who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or property, for my sake and for the Good News, will receive now in return a hundred times as many houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and property—along with persecution. And in the world to come that person will have eternal life. But many who are the greatest now will be least important then, and those who seem least important now will be the greatest then” (Mark 10:29-31).

Soon after, on the road to Jerusalem, Jesus predicted His death a third time. Then James and John told Jesus, “When you sit on your glorious throne, we want to sit in places of honor next to you, one on your right and the other on your left.” My how we jockey for position. Jesus told them they didn’t understand what they were asking for and He added, “I have no right to say who will sit on my right or my left. God has prepared those places for the ones he has chosen” (Mark 10:40).

Wasn't that parable about the wedding feast seating powerful in chapter 3?

“When the ten other disciples heard what James and John had asked, they were indignant. So Jesus called them together and said, ‘You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many’” (Mark 10:41-45, NLT).

Jesus was teaching them the essence of true greatness – serving others with a humble, God-centered heart. He was letting them – and us – know that greatness in His kingdom is not determined by status but by service. Let's marinate on that divine truth today.

Meanwhile, tell me, if you could have dinner with anyone famous dead or alive (except Jesus!), who would it be and why? You already know who I'd have meatloaf with.

INS week 1 link-up

“There is a price to godliness and godliness is never on sale. It never comes cheaply or easily.”

~Jerry Bridges in The Practice of Godliness

By now you've completed chapters 1 and 2 of It's No Secret in this online study. And I'm loving hearing what God has taught you through it so far. Don't miss Melissa's video comments on it today - isn't she fun?!

The teaching and study questions within these two chapters are quite possibly my favorites in the whole book. Here's why - they reliably stir up my soul. They generate a holy revolution within me. They focus me on what is truly important and motivate me to live a little higher, a little more zealously for Christ than I tend to - and there's something satisfying about that.

A couple years ago I was staying in a friend's vacation home.  The TV in the home got very few channels clearly.  On the clearest channel was a marathon of the reality show Whale Wars.  I watched one episode, and thought these people were plum crazy! Then I watched a second episode and thought them irresponsible. Then I watched a third, and I was hooked.

After returning home from vacation I continued watching Whale Wars, and I wasn't even sure why. I have very little in common with these people who volunteer their time and even risk their lives to go into the Arctic ocean for months at a time to try to stop Japanese fishermen from harpooning whales.

I like whales but I'm just not going to do that. I like boating too, but not in a frigid sea with a hole smashed in my hull and fishermen throwing bolts at me!

It's not the kind of show I would normally watch. They have to "beep out" words in every episode. I don't even agree with all the tactics they use in their attempts to stop the fishermen. I'm not sure who is in the right and who is in the wrong here, legally or otherwise. Yet I was captivated.

It took me weeks of watching to figure out why I was so drawn to these "Sea Shepherds" as they call themselves. I finally realized it's because they have totally committed to what is important to them. They don't just talk about it - they actually live sold out for it.  You don't see that a lot these days.

Sure, people sell out for money, power or fame, but that's not the same thing. And I'm convinced that when we stand before God, we'll clearly see none of that is worth the price.

Personally, I wish these Sea Shepherds were as committed to Jesus and saving men as they are to saving the whales. Nonetheless their willingness to abandon themselves to their cause inspires me. As does the woman, risking ridicule, pouring the pricey perfume on Jesus' head in our study.

I wonder, could you feel your soul stirring as you read these chapters? Did something stand out to you?
Did God whisper something in your ear as you pondered and studied this week?

If you've blogged about something from this week's study, post the link here so we can all share in your discovery. It's a great way to learn from each other and get to know each other. Just enter your name and the URL of the specific post (not just your general blog address) below. I'll be stopping by everyone's blog this weekend.

Step Two: Speak Up

It's not too late to join Melissa Taylor's online Bible study of my book It's No Secret. And it's not too late to sign up for the optional conference calls. Just click here for details. 

You'll find out next week just how much I appreciate the writings of C.S. Lewis. So I had to buy, as a Christmas present for myself, a copy of the C.S. Lewis Bible when it was released last fall. When it arrived, I gave it permanent residence on my treadmill.

By the way, it's not a study Bible; it has the full text of the Bible with some of Lewis' quotes strewn throughout.

If I walk at a slow pace (somewhere like 2.5- 3.2) I can read on the treadmill, and I tend to walk for longer periods of time that way.  But if I go faster than that, the words "jump" around too much - so after reading a while I'll switch from reading to listening to music on my iPod and pick up the pace. All you Made to Cravers, you can do your quiet time and your exercise at the same time!

At the turn of the year I read through Genesis for a sermon series our church was planning. Then I continued on into Exodus and Leviticus in my C.S. Lewis Bible. I'd read Leviticus before, but it had been a while.

Around chapter 11 all the comments about how perfect the sacrificial animals had to be started jumping out to me. I already knew that they were to sacrifice the best animals to the Lord. I knew that full well.  I had no problems with that - I want to give God my best!

A day or two later I'm walking again and reading up through Leviticus 21. That's where I was thrown off ...

Step One: Show Up

In the introduction to It's No Secret (page 20) I admitted my frustration at often feeling I couldn't track with the Bible. I couldn't seem to "get" whatever other people seemed to get out of reading it. I'd read it, kind of haphazardly, and run into things I just didn't understand. Anybody else out there relate?

Sometimes I felt I understood the verses well enough, but found their message wholly unsettling. In fact, there were things I read about God - especially in the Old Testament - that contradicted what I believed about Him and His ways. That'll mess with a Jesus girl's head!  This ever happened to you?

Enough times of feeling perplexed, bored, or unsettled - combined with a busy life and many great (or not so great) things calling for my attention - and I'd give up on Bible reading. For long stretches of time.  I still encountered the Word in church or in Christian books, but my own Bible gathered dust.

Finally, I decided to take God at His Word when He said that I as His disciple have been permitted to understand His teachings. I made up my mind to believe Him when He stated that His Word would not return to Him void - that it would accomplish His purposes (Isa 55:11). I bought a study Bible and gave it permanent residence on my kitchen table.

I'd read it for 5 minutes while I ate breakfast. I'd read while I sat there waiting for my then-homeschooled kids to complete a workbook page. I'd read it during my afternoon I-just-need-some-iced-tea-right-now moments. In little snippets of time here and there, I'd read it.

There are lots of Bible reading plans out there one can follow. You can read one chapter of Proverbs a day for a month. You can read through the Bible chronologically. You can do a book study. But I didn't have any grand plan for studying it other than to obediently show up and read something. However, before I would began I'd pray for God to illuminate the scriptures and to help me understand Him.

If I didn't understand something despite that prayer, I'd look in the study notes on the page. If I still didn't get it, I didn't sweat it. I chose to believe in faith that the time spent reading was not wasted time - regardless of whether or not I "got it." And to believe that anything that seemed contradictory was simply due to a temporary lack of understanding on my part. I showed up with faith the next day and read again anyway.

You do know that God honors faith, right? In fact, He says it pleases Him (Heb 11:6). I'm all about crafting a life that's pleasing to God. (You might want to look up that verse and write it in your INS notebook!)

Soon I learned to flip back and read the whole passage or the whole chapter the perplexing part was in to catch important details or story set-ups. Or even to to back all the way up to the beginning of the book, and to read the study Bible's introduction of the book for the context of who wrote it, to whom and why.

Over time I'd read enough sections that pieces started fitting together. Something I didn't understand last month suddenly made sense now that I'd read this part today. Lights would go on. Connections were made.

More and more was making sense!

Again, I didn't spend hours of time at this. I had little kids at home. Plus, I have an open floor plan in my home (translation: not a lot of quiet spots to study in.) I also had a part-time job.

I didn't use commentaries and I hadn't yet discovered the wonder of websites like biblegateway or crosswalk.  It was just me, Jesus and my study Bible at the kitchen table.

And just showing up off and on during my week days worked. Jesus showed up too, with divine salve to anoint my eyes for the task.

I've since learned to read footnotes, follow cross reference numbers, and use my concordance. But I learned all of that by myself in my kitchen over mugs of coffee with cream.  Among Cheerios and crumbs.  With Dora the Explorer playing in the back ground. (I'm the map, I'm the map, I'm the map ...)

Now that my children are in school I have more space and time to read and study. I have multiple Bibles and commentaries. And I meet weekly with my pastor and a few other people to talk about scripture.  But it all drives back to just learning to show up and spend some time with God in the Word.

I still have I-don't-understand-this-part moments. *In fact I'll tell you about a recent one in the next post when I give you step two.  But I've found that the very first step to becoming a woman who loves God's Word is just to SHOW UP and read it with faith that He will supply understanding.

Choose to assume that any confusion is only temporary - because God never hides truth from sincere seekers!

"Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you." Matt. 7:7 (NLT)

I trust this post will help someone out there decide to just show up and read in faith.

Show Up

It's a "no brainer" and yet it is one we often forget. To create, grow, or nurture a relationship, we have to show up for it. We have to put in the time.  Make the connection.  Put forth some effort.  Reciprocate.

The same is true of our relationship with Christ.

Oh don't get me wrong - God is the initiator. Always, ever the initiator. He calls. He woos. He first loves us. But we respond. And the more we respond, the deeper the relationship goes. (Matthew 13:11-13).

That's why I'm so excited that so many of you - over 800 that I know of - have chosen to show up, spending the next 6 weeks studying God's Word through the online Bible study of my book It's No Secret: Revealing Divine Truths Every Woman Should Know. I'm even more thrilled that we can do this together.

If you haven't heard about the study, consider this your personal invitation to show up for it!

Side Note: Apparently so many orders for It's No Secret came through Amazon last week that they are currently saying it will be 1 to 3 weeks before they're able to ship new orders out.  If you haven't bought your copy yet, click the books tab at the top of my blog for a list of stores that carry it. Or check your local bookstores. Or order an electronic copy from Amazon and you can download it instantly to your computer, iPad, iPhone, Blackberry, Android ... you can also get it for your Nook. 

Better yet, order a copy from Proverbs 31 Ministries (the proceeds go to the non-profit) and I'll sign it for you before we mail it to your door.  And in the meantime, on my "books" page you'll find a link to read the intro and first chapter free so you can get started with us.

The beauty of an online study is its flexibility. While our hostess Melissa is setting forth a weekly reading plan, you can move at your own pace. You're not going to be late to any meetings. Plus you don't have to go out in the cold or the dark to gather. (I hear many experienced a late spring snowfall this week!)  You'll get to meet women from around the world, and you can do it in your pajamas and slippers if you want. Do you smell like the baby's spit up?  We don't mind - we can't smell it!

While all this flexibility is a great thing, I do want to urge you to show up consistently and stay with this. Commit to making the effort for the next six weeks. Arrange your life to see this study through.  Think about where and when you'll do your reading. Set yourself up with a bookmark, a notebook and your favorite writing instrument. (I'm partial to #2 pencils.) Consider blogging about what you're learning - I'll be hosting a link-up carnival here each Friday so we can meet each other and share insights - I look forward to reading yours!

Later this week I'll post a picture of a certain ring you might want to see. For now, I'd love for you to post a comment and tell me your first name and where you are joining us from - I want to pray for you by name in these next six weeks.

I'm off to celebrate my hubby's birthday tonight.  I've made him homemade mudslide for dessert.  We'll stick just one candle in the gooey chocolate mess and I'll sing happy birthday to him. You'll find out in this week's reading why he might be wishing I wouldn't!