Who let the pig out?

This morning I committed to a couple friends to fast tomorrow for the She Speaks conference happening next week. This is an annual conference that trains women to lead women's ministries in their churches, and trains others to write and speak God's messages of grace and love. As you might imagine, that causes some stirring unrest in the spiritual realm.

Every year the P31 team faces a lot in the final weeks of preparation, and this year has been no different. And every year the participants do too as they start to doubt their decision or worthiness to attend. So I decided to fast and to pray over this for a day.

Here's the thing ... it was right after breakfast that I decided I would fast tomorrow - that's the day we agreed to do this together. And 15 minutes later I felt like I was starving. I ate some more. Twenty minutes later, still hungry. All day today I've had an insatiable appetite. I keep grazing and grazing, and still I feel unfulfilled.

What's worse, nothing in my kitchen seems to "hit the spot." Not my beloved Chocolate-Mint Zone bars, not my Quaker Simple Harvest dark chocolate chunk granola bars, and not even those Eskimo Pie Nestle Crunch pops in my freezer. Yes mam, that's right, I've eaten all three of those in the last six hours - in addition to lunch. Actually, I had two of the Nestle Crunch Popsicles. (Told you I love chocolate). Fortunately or unfortunately (however you want to look at it), I'm out of that Starbucks chocolate I last posted about.

I finally stopped putting food into my mouth long enough to ask, "Lord, what is going on here?! Who let this pig out?"

Slowly I realized Satan does not want me to fast tomorrow, so he's trying to get me to think there is no way I can possibly do it. I can't fast. I'll never make it. I'll be too hungry. It'll make me miserable. I'll fail. And then I realized I'm feeling exactly how the She Speaks attendees are feeling right about now: I can't speak/lead/write. I'll never make it. I'll fail.

And that was all I needed to decide to start my fast today, right now, instead of waiting until tomorrow. Because I can do it, and I will. And all of you nervous, doubting She Speaks attendees can do it too - and you will.

I realized the pig in this scenario is not me at all, it is Satan.

So despite my affinity for chocolate and coffee, no more for me until Friday while I focus in on God and take up the mantle of prayer. I tell you all of this because maybe you too have been thinking yourself a pig, or thinking that you can't try because you will surely fail. Well, I think you are wrong. And I have it on good authority that you are more than a conqueror in Christ! (Romans 8:37)