Stir, and Stir in Grace

I enjoyed this weekend's conference on becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman.

We studied the passage some. Talked some about its history. And discussed ways to apply it in our modern homes and families.

And then I preached grace.

I believe to preach Proverbs 31 without also preaching grace is to set women up for comparison, guilt and feelings of failure. Counter productive feelings.

Each of us will naturally excel at different verbs in the verses of Proverbs 31:10-31. Some will excel at the cooking. Some will excel at the organizing. Some will excel at the making and selling of products. Some will excel at the decorating. Some will excel at the speaking and teaching. Some will excel at the care taking of others. Some will excel at the sewing.

For a lot of us that last one - sewing to provide clothes and bed coverings - has morphed from sewing them to shopping for them already sewn. We can at least claim we excel at shopping!

Except my friend Suzie. I've never seen a woman who hates to shop for clothes as much as Suzie. And she very rarely does it, only then with some prodding and usually a couple friends along to help. But, wow can Suzie ever sew!

I think I got sidetracked there on my friend Suzie. Anyway, my point is don't put pressure on yourself to do all of these things equally well. Or equally as well as someone else. Take inspiration from them but then look at where God has gifted you and stir up that gift.

Odds are that's the gift that is tied somehow to your specific God-given purpose or calling.

Of course we can't ignore all the other verbs in the passage - we still have to feed ourself or our family even if we hate to cook. But that's why they jar spaghetti sauce. And why people with cooking talent write cookbooks.

And it's why they do those demonstrations at Williams-Sonoma. (Well, not entirely ... they also do them to sell products. But you don't have to buy.) I now send those ladies Christmas cards because they've taught me to cook. And cooking was not part of my natural skill set. At all.

I think I digressed a moment again. What's my take-away application here? Oh, here is it is ...

Whatever your "Proverbs 31 gift(s)" is, do something today to stir it up.  And ask God to help you cover the bases on the rest of the verbs. Because His grace is sufficient for you, and it shows up best where you are weakest (2 Cor 12:9).

I'm off to grade papers and prep for this afternoon's class (part of my teaching giftings). {Oh, and to listen to Bob Marley's song Stir it Up because that's now on my mind.} Let me know what you'll be doing today that taps into something you're skilled for.

And if you're not sure what you're innately skilled for - I can probably help you find that out.

Marybeth's notebooks - how one girl gets things done

A favorite question I like to ask people is, "So how do you ensure you get things done?"

I asked this the other week of my friend Marybeth Whalen.  Marybeth and I worked together for a number of years. I was editor of a publication she regularly wrote for. Of all the writers for this publication, she was the most on-time and consistent of the entire group.

Did I mention she also has six kids?

And writes for other publications? And writes novels?

Marybeth described to me a two-list system she employs using a simple spiral notebook and a smaller notebook.

In the larger notebook she lists everything - absolutely everything she has to, or would like to, or is considering doing that month. One notebook per month and everything goes into here.

Then she takes the smaller notebook and she pulls tasks out of the larger one to make a daily to-do list. She makes sure just a handful of tasks goes on each day's to-do, paying attention to which ones are pressing or time-sensitive. 

If she finishes her to-do list for the day quickly she'll often return to the large notebook and pull some more tasks onto the day's list.  If she doesn't get to everything on that day's list, she turns the page at day's end and places the unfinished tasks on tomorrow's list ... then adds a few more tasks from the larger notebook.

 

Learn to make your own mini-notebooks out of cereal boxes here.

Marybeth's method is simple and inexpensive - buy a stack of notebooks each year at the back-to-school clearence sales and you're good to go. Maybe get some colored pens on sale too if you want to color-code your tasks into "personal" and "professional" catagories.

Let's take a quick informal poll: How do you make your to-do lists?

A) On Paper (notepad, notebook, planner, scrap paper)
B) Electronically (in a computer software program, or with a phone app)
C) On the Wall  (on a whiteboard or chalk board)
D) I Don't!  (I rarely make to-do lists, or not in any consistent way)

How Green Grass Lies

In my last post I mentioned that I can easily kill my own passion (zest, zeal, energy, love) for what I've been entrusted with (my work, my family, my writing, my home, my influence) by comparing it to someone else's.

Ever feel great about what you're doing -- until you see someone doing it better?

Ever get jazzed about a new idea you have for a new direction -- only to find someone has already been doing that for years?

Ever peer from the outside into someone else's life/job/ministry and assume it must be great?

When that happens, I can become uninspired. I can grow apathetic or even resentful. That positions me to appreciate and accomplish little. All because I'm looking elsewhere.

Here's the deal. And you may have heard this before but it bears repeating. Because it's imperative that we understand how green grass lies.

The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence where "they" live or work; because it's theirs or it's some how a better breed of grass. It's greener where it's being watered, weeded and fertilized. They are not necessarily an intrinsically better gardener than you.  Green grass is the result of effort and focus over time.

If you and I were to have their "lawn," and we showed up to it the same way we are showing up to our lawn now, we'd soon see the same results we've been getting in our yard.

Are you tracking with this metaphor? (Note: we are not talking about blades of grass and dandelions.)

Green grass is a matter of how you tend it. Tend it with passion. And avoid things that drain that passion.

Avoiding the Drain

If comparing your stuff to others' can at times inspire you but at times drain you, you've got to be hyper-aware of when the latter is happening.

As you read on the Internet, or watch HGTV, study your business competition, or watch or think about someone else's life, train yourself to periodically stop and ask, "Is this inspiring me in a helpful way, or is this draining my energy, making me envious?"

Be careful ... sometimes we will drain our optimism for our own work (or appreciation for our own life) when studying someone else's while telling ourselves, "This is helping me. I'm learning from them."

Even if the content you are learning from them is good, if it doesn't also inspire you to apply it (or to continue doing your own thing with zeal), it's not really helping you at this time. It's likely stalling you.

When I ask myself the is-this-inspiring-me-or-draining-me question and I realize I'm feeling interested but overwhelmed or drained, I know I need to take my eyes off of that for now. At least until I can renew my mind about it and approach it or see it differently.

Bottom Line:

I know from experience, comparison is the fastest way to kill your passion.

So stop that, now.

Focus on your art, your craft, your audience, your spouse, your Bible. You get the picture.

Because change is possible, but focus is required. And passion fuels our focus.

When You Don't Want to Work

Are you ready to work, serve, or create with passion today?

Or is your passion for what you do gone?

Feeling ...

I know that feeling. I've felt burnt out on teaching before. Burnt out on writing before. Burnt out on house-keeping before. Burnt out on blogging before. It's an awful feeling and a worse way to live.

"Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant.

Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality. Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. 

Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody. Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone."

  ~ Romans 12:11-12 (MSG)  


Obviously this passage is talking about our attempts to love and live like Christ. But I think it contains good advice we could apply to any situation in which we've lost our zeal.

It is saying, if you want to regain your zeal you're going to have to make some choices and changes.

If you want to fall back into love - with your work, your home, your hobby, your family, your life, or even your walk with God - you have to show up to it differently than you have been.

Let's pull some adjectives and verbs from this passage for some ideas of how to show up differently. According to this passage, we need to show up cheerful, expectant, not quitting, praying, helping others, creative or inventive, hospitable, talking positively, laughing, happy, empathetic, getting along, humble and not quarrelsome, or seeking to see the beauty in people.

So which part of that have you been skipping?

The first part of the passage tells us to keep ourselves {our passion and zeal} fueled and aflame. We can't expect passion to always be there just because it once was lit. There's an active fueling and refueling to it to keep it alive. An active tending of it.

Mother Teresa said, "To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it."  Exactly.

Look at the list we made above from Romans 12 and decide what you can do today to do put some  oil into it. How can you make your work fun?  How can you be cheerful while working? How can you get creative or inventive with it? Or, how much could simply speaking positively about your work begin to retrain your thoughts and feelings about it?

Maybe zeal is something we bring to our work, rather than our work bringing to us. How can you and I approach our work with zeal instead of just waiting for it to hopefully emerge?

If this post doesn't help answer that, pray and ask God to answer it. He cares about your work, whether it's raising a child or designing a website, running PTA or running a marathon, cooking for your family or cooking for customers.

Burn out is common, but it's also curable. When you don't want to work, acknowledge that reality, but then think about how you can show up to it differently. 

Pray and Don't Give Up

Hey there, glad you stopped by. Welcome to Monday Morning Motivation.

I do these posts each most Mondays as a sort of shot in the arm to get you going on your week. I think of them as productivity jump-starters. But you can think of them as posts designed to reduce your need for a third second cup of coffee. (subscribe in the side bar)

If you've come over from my devotion published today, you know today I'm talking about faith. And prayer. And not giving up. So this one is a shot in the arm for your prayer life.

Only I won't give the shot to you so much as Jesus will.

If you haven't already read the devo yet, be sure and do that so that 1) you'll understand why my neighbors think I'm erratic but I'm not, and 2) so your arm will be prepped for this next dose.

OK. I love me some parables. But I especially love it when Jesus spells things out plainly for us. He does that in Matthew 7:7-11.  Give me your arm, this won't hurt a bit ...

Ask, Seek, Knock

 

 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."

 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?  If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"  (Matt 7:7-11, NIV)

If you do word studies on the verbs "ask," "seek," "knock" you'll discover that the tense they were written in would have you translate this as: "Ask, and keep on asking; seek, and keep on seeking; knock, and keep on knocking ... " In other words: PRAY ALWAYS AND DON'T GIVE UP.

Both this passage and the parable in the devotion communicate to us that sometimes in life you have to persist to see the outcome materialize. We don't always know why but apparently it is so. So make up your mind now to persist.

These passages also remind us that if a parent will give good things to the child they love, and even a cranky, corrupt judge will do the right thing when pressed to, of course your Heavenly Father will give you what you need when you come to Him in faith.

So stay at it while expecting results. That's the faith part.

{Desperation drives us to prayer. But it's faith that keeps us at it, expecting results.}

It's worth noting that the provision of the good gifts is probably a reference to the wisdom, blessing and guidance of God supplied in response to repeated requests. The teaching as a whole doesn't imply that we get everything we want, but that God gives the good that we need.

Case in point: I do not have a beach house in Malibu. Nor have I grown a single inch past my 5'2" frame.

If you want to read more on this passage in Matthew, I recommend Matthew Henry's excellent commentary on it. But if this shot in the arm is all you needed to close your eyes and seek God in prayer today - and again tomorrow - my work here is done.

What did you stop praying for?  What did you once seek, but give up on?

Tell me in a comment here, or on my Facebook post, and I'll join you in praying for it!

Why to-do's take forever to get done

My One Word for 2012 is CREATE. Here’s what I can tell you: A creative piece of work never feels entirely finished to its author. (In fact, I’ve heard of famous painters being banned from museums to keep them from continuing to add to their masterpieces.) So I tend to want to give myself as much time as possible to work on something.

And that’s a problem because: Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.

I talked about this proverb known as Parkinson’s Law the other week.

 

 

 

Parkinson’s Law means that if you give yourself a week to complete a two-hour task, the task will seem to increase in difficulty-to-get-done so as to fill that week. Even if it doesn't fill the week with more work, or endless tweaking, it will with the stress and tension of still needing to get it done. And remembering to get it done.

The remedy is to give yourself short deadlines. Shorter than you think is necessary, or comfortable.

I once read a response to Parkinson’s Law insinuating that if it were an accurate observation, you could assign a time limit of one minute to a task and it would become simple enough to complete within a minute. No. Parkinson’s Law a truism, not a law of physics.

It’s a truism because people generally give certain tasks more time than they really take to be completed. 

Why do we do that? 

4 Reasons Parkinson’s Law is in Effect

1) WE DREAD. It’s a task we’re dreading doing, so we keep putting it off. We convince ourselves it will be so dreadful and time-consuming that we can’t possibly deal with it right now. Surely tomorrow will be a better time to tackle this.

2) WE’RE TIME-CHALLENGED. It’s not that we don’t have enough time available to complete the task; rather we’re not good at determining how much time this task needs. Plus, we lallygag, daydream and get off track rather than focusing and getting it done – so it seems to take forever. (Personally, I can be a terrible judge of time.)

3) WE’RE PERFECTIONISTS. We assume that the longer we work on something the better it will turn out. And we want it to turn out as perfect as possible. So we give ourselves lots of time to work on it. And in the meantime, the task grows in complexity because we’re trying to do the best possible job at it. (Note: not everything needs to be "just right," many things just need to be done.)

4) WE STRESS. We live with stress. We don’t enjoy it. So we’re always looking to avoid more stress. We think that giving ourselves the buffer of some extra time to do the task will reduce our hurry and stress. Yet it often does not. Instead we stress all week over getting a two-hour task done, then we hurry to complete it last minute.

Any of this sound familiar? I am guilty of all four of those.

Parkinson's Remedy

By assigning ourselves (or our kids or employees) a short but doable amount of time to complete a task, we can gain back wasted time. Time spent dreading, postponing, daydreaming or trying to do something to an unreasonably or unnecessarily high standard. Then we can restore the perceived complexity of the task back to its true state—and reduce our stress.

 

So I'm working on giving myself short deadlines and getting to-dos done rather than tweaked twenty times or postponed. I'm completing more, faster. And that's upping my enthusiasm for my work. As Martha Stweart might say, "That's a good thing!"

“Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.^” ~ Romans 12:11

More to Do Leads to More Done

Years ago my dearest friend from my grad school years learned she was pregnant - unexpectedly. Her husband wouldn't graduate for another semester and then they were going to move back home to Florida.

Days before she learned of her pregnancy, she'd been asked to take a leadership position on her church's women's ministry team.  So she sat before me this Saturday morning, picking at her blueberry muffin, wondering  out loud if she should say "yes" or "no" to their invitation.

I thought maybe she needed "permission" to decline the position now that she had this baby on board.

"Christie," I began, "Maybe this isn't a good time for you to take that position. You're working full time, plus now you'll probably be tired more often. You might have morning sickness. And at the end of the semester, you'll need to pack up this whole apartment to head back to Florida. And they'll have to replace you at that point anyway."

I waited for her to say, "Yeah, you're right." But she remained quiet, picking at the muffin.

"Now that you're pregnant, you should probably be looking to take things off your plate rather than add more on. You've already got a lot to do," I tried again, assuming she wanted if not needed to say "no."

Finally Christie spoke. "Yes, but that's just it.  The less I have to do the less I get done. If I have all day to accomplish one thing, it will take me all day to get that thing done. The more I have to do, the more I get done because I think I'd better do this now because I won't have time later."

Brilliance. Sheer brilliance.

Have you ever gotten to the end of a work day and been shocked at how little you accomplished? You checked email. You attended a meeting. You thought about some things. And you answered the phone the three times it rang.  And that seems to be pretty much it. Where did all the time go?

Christie had just acknowledged the human phenomena known as Parkinson's Law:

Work expands to fill the time available for its completion. 

Have you found this to be true?

Next week I begin teaching a new semester at the college. I need to create my syllabus. The syllabus is important as it's the general outline and the contract for the entire course. 

But I've taught this course many times - and tweaked this course many times. And while I could spend 2 days working on my syllabus - tweaking this and contemplating changing that - instead I'm giving myself 2 hours today to complete the syllabus. And I've already scheduled things for this afternoon so I'm forced to finish this now.

{Reality is I can still tweak things this semester as needed as we go along. And, most students lose their syllabus by October.}

What task is taking you forever to get around to completing?

Perhaps you need more, not less to do? Or perhaps you just need to give yourself a short leash on getting it done. 

Try this: Schedule yourself a quick and clear deadline to complete it by - complete it, and then move on to the next thing. "Finishing is better than starting," according to Ecclesiastes 7:8a (NLT). Don't worry that your performance on task will suffer - it won't because you'll be highly focused during the shortened completion phase.

Focus is a wonderful thing.

God Gives Out Golds

I've watched the Olympics every single night since the games began.

I confessed in a recent post to being an Olympicaholic. And to training at one point with the 1988 Olympics in my dreams (heavy emphasis on "dreams"... though just the other week I did a pretty darn near flawless cartwheel for my P31 teammates at She Speaks).

So once again this week I've found myself imagining standing atop that podium, gold medal weighing around my neck, watching the US flag rise because my hard training had come to fruition.

I don't think I could help but mouth a few of the lines to the anthem while up there. I mean, who can not sing, "And the rockets' red glaaare ..."

Reality is, I will never stand atop an Olympic podium. But I serve a God that sees my work and knows just how to encourage me in it. Yesterday I received this email (printed here with permission):

Dear Mrs. Rachel Olsen,

Hello! My name is Hannah Talbott and I am a college freshman majoring in Literature and Business in Colorado. I recently spent the summer reading your book "It's No Secret" and want to thank you immensely. I was born and raised in a strong Christian home and have read numerous books pertaining to strengthening our walk with God but NONE have compared to this!

Your writing was fun and easy to read, but contained elaborate diction, symbolism and parallelism! I enjoyed it through my personal love for literature but also through my insane love and passion for God. This book seemed to contain all the topics I really needed at the specific times I read the chapters (funny how God does that.) I am so glad you have this email and website where people can connect with you and I thank you so much for your writing! God Bless and I hope to see you speak one day! 

Sincerely and God Bless,

Hannah Talbott

Class of 2012

I share that email not to toot my horn or advertise my book, but to show the graciousness of God and the truth of Hebrews 6:10 in action.

"God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them." ~ Hebrews 6:10

With Hannah's sweet email God gave me a gold medal of sorts, showing me one of the ways my hard work came to fruition. I believe He will do the same for you. So let this verse encourage you to work hard this week. Because God gives out golds.

What refuels you for your work?

I returned home last night from the very inspirational, very informational She Speaks conference.

Each year this conference refuels my passion for ministry.

Every summer I come home exhausted with a to-do list I can't wait to start on.

I'm realizing how important it's been to have something built into my year that refuels my passion for ministry. And I'm thinking it would be wise to build such a thing into each week. 

Of course I can't attend a conference every week so I'll have to find something simpler but still effective. 

What is your work? ... a business? ministry work? housekeeping? child-raising?

And what is it that reliably refuels your passion for your work?

If you don't know, aim to find out in order to avoid burn out.

Take a Shot at It

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."  ~ Wayne Gretzky

Gretzky was taking about hockey.  A Hall of Famer, he's been called the greatest hockey player ever. But I also think he was talking about life. To accomplish anything, we first have to try.

That means there is a risk of failure. But to not try is pretty much an assurance of failure.


     - You'll keep 100% of the pounds you don't try to lose.

     - You'll live with 100% of the clutter you don't pick up and put away.

     - You'll learn nothing from 100% of the books you never read.

     - You'll miss responses to 100% of the prayers you never pray.

     - You won't remember 100% of the verses you never memorize.

     - You won't complete 100% of the classes you never sign up for.


One hundred percent of the products you don't make will not sell. Not a single person will read a single blog post you don't write. And no one will come to a party you never throw. Because you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

Gretzky also said, "Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest of diseases and it's toll on success and happiness is heavy." So when I feel I'm lacking in success happiness I have to pause and ask myself ...
                                   

 Is that because I'm not getting around to taking any shots at it?

Take a shot at it today. Take another shot tomorrow. And another next week.

Sure, we might miss. We might even miss a lot. But odds are, if we keep shooting, we'll also make a few.

Why You Want to Write Down Your Goals

I never cease to be surprised by how much I get done when I write down what I need or want to do.

This is true of an errands or shopping list, or a daily to-do list.

It's also true of five-year plans and life goals.

Writing something down seems to convince my brain I'm serious about doing this so get on-board with it. It also has a way of moving things from the back-burner of my subconscious mind to the forefront of my active mind.  So not only do I not forget about it, but I move toward accomplishing it.

At times all it takes is writing it down.

For those (3) of you interested in science and the brain, here's how that works:

The bottom of the brain stem contains a group of cells called the Reticular Activating System.  Their job is sorting through the data incoming to your brain. It's main task is to send the urgent stuff to the active part of your brain, and send the non-urgent stuff to the subconscious. (This is what allows us moms to sleep through every little noise in the night except the whimper of our child down the hall.)  Essentially, when you write something down - succinctly and with intention - you plug it into your Reticular Activating System. Then your brain starts to pay attention to that thing, labeling it "active status" and increasing the odds that you'll accomplish it.

If you skipped the slightly scientific section above, just know that writing is a way of directing your brain to pay attention to something until it is accomplished. All it takes is a couple of minutes, a piece of paper and a pen.

So, what is it you are wanting or needing to do?  Go write it down!

What I learned from eating a large muffin

I never buy muffins.  My husband always does.

It's not that I have anything against muffins. I like muffins. Especially their tops (not to be confused with the ubiquitous "muffin top" caused by waist spillage over too tight, low cut jeans - I don't like those at all.)

I avoid muffins because they are essentially a 400 calorie carbohydrate bomb that will explode once I ingest it - causing the aforementioned ubiquitous muffin top problem I dislike.

Isn't there a proverb about this? Something like, "He who eats muffins the size of her face will soon come to regret the size of her waist." I know I got the pronouns off but I think the rest of that is right. Maybe from Proverbs 32.

But today my husband brought home muffins again. These are extra large banana-chocolate chip muffins. And I can smell them from across the room. Through the plastic wrapping.

And I could tell that this one - the one with the most chocolate chips on top - really wanted to be eaten.

So what's a girl to do? 

I approached this sensibly. I ate the top of the muffin - the very best part. Then I picked through the rest of it, pulling out the sizable chocolate chips, eating them one by one. Next I dumped the rest of it into the sink.

Now it can clog my sink disposal rather than my arteries and my jeans.

All that was needed was a little strategy, and a cold glass of milk.



What task or problem are you facing today? I bet it too could be solved with a little strategy, and perhaps some milk. Ask yourself:

• How can I break this thing down into parts? And which piece should I start with? 

• What's the most essential part to get done  - what's the muffin top of it? 

• Are there parts I can delegate, schedule for later, or dump entirely in the sink?

• And, how can I tackle this in a way that provides pleasure in the process or reward at the end, with the least amount of cost?

Sometimes when we aren't getting something done, it's because we've failed to take a few minutes to break it down into doable sections, figure out the essentials, and dump what we don't really need to do.

That's what I learned today from eating a muffin.

It will probably be another six months before I eat (or rather half-eat) another muffin. And I'll probably do it the same way. At least now I've got my strategy down.

Ideal Working Conditions, A "Creativity Elixir"

I just read this post by productivity/lifestyle guru Tim Ferriss: The Creativity Elixir: Is Genius on Demand Possible?

Tim says yes, it's possible ... if you discover the right conditions for you.

Y'all know my one word this year is CREATE. So I'm about to embark on an experiment to find out what my own creativity elixir elements are. 

Will it contain South American tea, Argentinian red wine and writing from 1:00 to 5:00 am each day, like Tim's personal plan? Oh Lord - I hope not. Then again I do tend to be a night owl.

And I just might try that yerba mate tea. I do know this, I can't drink fully caffeinated coffee and write. It jacks me up too much. I can't sit still and focus. Some days I can do one cup of decaf ice coffee, but I'm really better on decaf tea.

My personal creativity elixir will most likely contain musical white noise, another of Tim's elements. The one thing I've already discovered is that part of my elixir is classical baroque music. I think best with no lyrics, and prefer instruments like the violin and oboe. I discovered that while writing It's No Secret - I probably should've thanked Pandora on the acknowledgements page.

When I really have to buckle down and concentrate or get writing done, I head straight for Pandora's Classical Baroque channel. It works for me.

Do you have any go-to tricks for when you really need to concentrate or create?  I'll report back as I discover more of mine.

I view understanding how I work best - including my personal creativity/productivity enhancers - a vital element to stewarding well the gifts God has given me. Think about that, read the parable of the talents, and maybe you'll decide to join me on this quest to determine your ideal working conditions, and then to create them consistently.