She Speaks 2011

I'm back from the 2011 She Speaks conference where I spent most of last week. Thought I'd share some of my memories, lessons and experiences from the week.


1. Upon arrival at the hotel Tuesday, I ironed my white pants and managed to burn my left hand on the iron. I sat through dinner with Lysa TerKeurst, Holly Good, Marybeth Whalen and Ariel Lawhon with my fingers in a cup of ice. When all my ice melted, Holly gave me her ice water. That's a good friend.

2. Wednesday was my birthday. I spent all day in She Speaks meetings.  My girlfriends, however, lavished me with gifts.  Scented soy candles. A cute teal leather purse. Beautiful stationary gifts from Rose Lane Cottage. The coolest travel kit ever. Books, dinner and more. I turned 29 in case you were wondering. I turn 29 every year - it's tradition.

3. I picked up a copy of Logos Bible software.  Now I just have to carve out the time to learn to use it. I may get my pastor to help me with that. I showed him around TweetDeck this year, so maybe he'll show me around Logos. Do you use a Bible software program?

4. Led an intermediate-level speakers evaluation group.  I loved my group this year! I'm thinking I say that every year. PS. Between you and me, it's not exactly fun to have to critique someone's presentation skills when they've just poured out their heart in a message, or taught passionately from the Bible. I wanted to give them all A's.

5. I discovered it's possible to get by on 6 or less hours of sleep for several nights in a row, but it does nothing for your complexion.

6. I loved meeting women at the P31 authors book signing. Note to Self: It is hard to sign 50 books in a row while wearing a chunky bracelet on your writing arm. You can't get your arm on the table to hold the pen normal. And then your writing looks sloppy.

7. The prayer room. It's the best place in the whole conference center. I should have gone in there earlier than I did this year.

8. Met Ann Voscamp and heard her speak.  If you've ever read Ann, 'nough said.

9. I want a breakfast buffet like that every morning. Today at home I had just a protein shake.

10. I came down to the conference center on Sunday morning all chirpy-happy. I was chatting with  Zoe Elmore and Carol Davis. Life was good. AND, I was going home in just a few hours. Couldn't wait to see my husband and kids.

Then Wendy Pope came over and said she noticed in the parking lot that my back tire was flat. My mood went flat too. (Did I mention I'd already spent $1600 on car repairs this summer?). But the two bell hops took off their white button downs and went to work putting the spare tire on my car. Embassy Suites Concord has excellent customer service. 

Which is good, because I'll be spending my birthday with them again next year at She Speaks 2012.

Maybe you can join me - bring a chocolate cake that says, "Happy 29th, Rachel." And some Downy Wrinkle Releaser, please.

She Speaks - smack down

For those of you who read the comments left here with any regularity, you might recall that Chef Diane noticed a few months ago that I happen to heart key lime pie.


Then she started bragging that she makes a mean key lime pie. So mean, in fact, it's been dubbed "Smack Your Mama Key Lime Pie." (Otherwise known as SYMP). What's more, she offered to bring me some to the She Speaks conference.


I didn't know if she'd really do that. Would she go to all that trouble for moi? Despite having a very difficult and emotional week prior to She Speaks, that girl made the pie, froze it and drove it down here from Virgina. Ya'll, she brought me some SYMP! What a kind, personal, hand-made gift. I'm still remembering it today.


It was so good I did want to smack something - my lips as I woofed down another bite!


AND ... she also brought me a cake pan, one of her official chef coats, plus one of those floppy white chef hats. I'm giggling 'bout that - so are my local girlfriends who have actually tasted my cooking. I got my husband to try it on as he made fried bologna sandwiches for lunch.


The pie was delish and I decided we had to find Suzi Eller to share it with because just that day she had confessed to me her love of key lime cheesecake. (mental note: I must try that.) So Diane and I found about half the P31 team, many in their PJs, in Suzi's suite that evening to share a little pie and conversation. The gift of SYMP spread.



Thing is, the hotel was serving us key lime pie for dessert on Saturday night but I had to miss that to have dinner with my publisher and agent. No worries, I had an extra slice of SYMP in the mini fridge in my suite. Wasn't that sweet of Diane? Here she is with the sugary concoction she made for her eval group (which I missed out on). She promises to send me the pie recipe should anyone care to try it ... and this is a gal that keeps her promises. Thanks, Diane!

She Speaks pre-conference

Once again, my time at the She Speaks conference was sheer delight ... followed by sheer exhaustion. Remember I said for 2 days afterwards I generally sit in the corner and drool, unable to do anything but watch movies? Well that time has commenced, so I'll just hit the highlights of some of what I did while there.


Tuesday-Thursday it was just the P31 team. Believe it or not, this is the only time of the year we are all together physically in one place! That's why we love coming to She Speaks so much. They don't pay us to come, but they don't have to. I'd walk across burning coals to spend time with these gals. (metaphorically speaking, of course - I'm a wimp about pain.)


Thursday night we had dinner with our special guests: the publishers, agents and bloggy experts we'd invited to serve with us at the conference. I had the total pleasure of dining with Stephanie of DaySpring, Holley of Heart to Heart with Holley, Emily of Chatting at the Sky, and The Nester of Nesting Place. Yes, Nester has a first name, but I won't print it for fear of spelling it wrong - or spelling it right and enabling you to find her tax records online.


Each of these gals were easy-going, fun, funny, interesting, intelligent and comfortable to hang with. I love meeting new friends and already look forward to seeing them again.


Speaking of new friends, remember I told you I was rooming with a complete stranger from outside our speaker team this year? LOVED HER. That was a great decision - a God decision in fact.


The first night Ariel and I met, which was after my dinner with the swanky blog chicks, we were up until 1:30 AM talking our girly selves to death. Well, that was pretty much every night actually. The last night we went from talking in the suite, to talking while sitting in our beds, to talking while laying down on our pillows, to still talking after we'd turned out the lights. We clicked in a way that wasn't just a relief but a treat.


Can't wait to buy Ariel's book this week. It's called Eye of the God and it's about the Hope diamond ... I love me some big bling, y'all. Her book is one of 3 picks for the launch of P31's She Reads this fall.

Soooo glad Rob Eager is a good presenter, because I spent all of Friday morning in his pre-conference sessions. Great information ... nearly overwhelming to take in all at once, but really good. He says I need to understand what I uniquely "bring to the table" as a speaker and writer. I'm not sure I do. I think its hard to see your own uniqueness. I'd be curious to hear what you all think - how would you describe my strengths or value as a Christian communicator?

At lunch on Friday I sat with some terrific women's ministry leaders. There I met a gal from South Africa. She told me that in her country no one is deemed worthy to be seen as an "expert." So they always read books from people outside the country, bring in speakers from outside the country. It reminded me of Jesus' comment that no one can be an expert in their own hometown. This woman was definitely worthy of listening to. She was such a total gem and I would love to travel there to do ministry with her someday.

After lunch and one more session, I changed clothes into my official P31 shirt and gathered with the team for our entrance to the opening session of the conference. This year we sauntered and danced our way on stage to a funky remix of "We Are Family." Don't worry, Cheri Keaggy had opened us up with worship first.

Lysa nearly made me cry right there on stage y'all (in the pic above) while talking about her love for this team. She Speaks may be the only place one can go from dancing to a funky beat to crying inside of 2 minutes. That's me to the right of the table number 31 (how appropriate).

I'll stop here since I've already given you lots of links to check out, asked you to help me discern why my readers read me, and plus, I have to get back to drooling. I'll post more about the conference later this week.

The Best She Speaks Moment

If you asked me what my favorite She Speaks 2008 moment was, I'd have to say praying for Wendy. And it almost didn't happen.

On Saturday evening during the main session, I was meeting with my publisher for my book "God's Purpose for Every Woman." We didn't intend to meet during the session, but her schedule was running late so it turned out that way. After a terrific time talking in the restaurant over some hot spinach and artichoke dip, it felt very late to me as I rode with her in the elevator up to the floor where she was retiring for the evening.

I was ready to chill alone in my own room for the first time all day when I noticed it was only a little after 9:oo PM. I checked my schedule and saw the main session was still going on. Caught up in enjoyable conversation, I'd forgotten about it - and I was suppose to be up front at the cross to pray with the women.

After a moment of consideration, I hustled to the ballroom. As I carefully entered the back of the dim room, I could see P31 team members had gone up front minutes before, as planned, and women were starting to come forward to the crosses. Multiple team members were already at each of the crosses. Plus, I'd missed the message and wasn't quite feeling "in the groove" of what was happening, so I thought briefly about sitting this one out.

But I knew I'd been specifically assigned to be at one of the crosses and I'm not one to shirk my assignments. I couldn't remember which cross I was to go to, so I just headed to one. I prayed with several women while there, and it was truly my honor and blessing to do so. I was very glad at that point that I'd come.

Next, a woman came to me from the other side of the room and asked if I was Rachel. I indicated yes. She hardly got a few words out before she was overcome with tears. I'm going to let her tell you the rest of the story of what God did for her. Pop over to her blog here to read the rest of the story from her perspective. Please do that before you finish reading my post.


Reading Wendy's post moves my heart. But I don't want you to walk away from this post thinking, "That Rachel is so super spiritual. When she prayed, major things happened." Because it's not about me at all. When Wendy told me she felt God telling her to have me pray for her, I honestly didn't understand why. She doesn't remember exactly what I prayed (I did pray for a long time), but I remember what my first words were: "Lord, I don't know why it's important that I be the one to pray for Wendy but You do. So give me the words, and have Your way." I just went on from there.

My point is, God often creates "divine appointments" for us and we just have to be sensitive to His leading and willing to go along when He calls. Living under the power of the Holy Spirit is an adventure like no other.

For some reason, I was allowed to stand in the middle of this encounter with Wendy and the God who loves her. I got to see how obedient hearts, surrendered to Him, bring about great breakthroughs. I got to experience God lifting her up, and feel the moment that strongholds were broken and God reigned down over her. And I'm grateful.

Maybe Wendy is the unknown-to-me-at-the-time reason that I fasted the week before. Or maybe God allowed me to be the one to witness this encounter just to encourage me. Or perhaps, it was so that I could encourage you today with her story. I don't know all the reasons or repercussions, but I know that I'm grateful to have stood in that moment in eternity, praying for a sister in Christ.

So that's why this moment - despite all the fun moments I had, despite all the well-known people I met, despite all the talented speakers I heard, and despite all the influential publishers I talked with - was my absolute favorite She Speaks moment of 2008.

She Speaks Moments

Glynnis, Carrie (in back of me), Me, Lysa, Luann, Holly, Aimy S. (in back), Amy C. (in back), Melissa, Melanie (in back), & Renee

After a very long day of thinking, talking, planning and training (which unfortunately will result in me needing to work some this summer rather than just lie by the pool reading books as I'd hoped), the gals and I left the hotel premises long enough to grab some dinner on Thursday.




Same crew, only you can see Carrie beside me now
and Micca in the middle instead of Luann

Notice I'm holding the other half of the manicotti I ordered but couldn't finish. I brought it back to the hotel, stuck it in the fridge, only to be smacked in the face with a pungent garlic smell every morning as I opened it to get out my Snapple Green Tea for breakfast. Garlic smell at 6:15 AM - Mmmm. That part I didn't cherish, but the chance to hang out, eat and chat with girlfriends rocked.

PS. I have no idea what Melissa, Aimy and Amy are carrying on about in the back of this pic. There are a few rebels in every crowd!

PSS. Our Bible study of NT women will resume here the first week of July.

Back from She Speaks

Hi Friends. Thanks for all your sweet notes and emails saying you've been missing me. (big smiles) I've just returned from a week out of town for the She Speaks conference, so that's why I've been MIA for awhile.

This is the same conference I was fasting about in my previous post. Thanks for praying for me during that time. The fast was not as difficult as I'd first feared, and it was definitely worth while. I think more fasting is in my near future. And I challenge you to be open to the idea of fasting next time you face a big challenge, or the next time you hear God asking you to press hard into Him.

Each year before the weekend conference begins, the P31 crew gathers to set up at the conference hotel and prepare for the event. Since this is the only time of the year the speaker team is all in one place, we also do a lot of ministry updating and team training. And since its the only time of the year we're all together, we stay up way too late talking in our jammies and getting caught up on one another's lives.

It's a good thing I began adjusting to little food with my pre-conference fast because my schedule was so busy the last several days that I rarely got to finish a meal during the week. I think I've operated this last week on an average of 5.5 hours of sleep per night and 1.5 meals a day. But I wouldn't trade a minute of it for all the Starbucks, chocolate and fluffy pillows in the world.

Here is the P31 speaker team and staff. This photo was taken on Thursday. (I'm on the inside side of the rock on the far left.)

Each year I'm left speechless as I watch what God does in the lives of His daughters through this little band of women at Proverbs 31 Ministries. God breaks shackles, confirms callings, and brings dreams to fruition as He woos women's hearts closer to His. It's such a privilege and a thrill to play a part.

I got to meet some of our fellow bloggy friends while there! Several women came up and introduced themselves and said "I love reading your blog" or "I've learned so much from the online bible study we've done on your blog." That was terrific. I'm hoping some of them will post a comment and tell us about their conference experience - or blog about it and leave us the link in a comment below.

I'll be back later to tell you more about it myself, but for now I'm off to actually finish a meal and to snuggle with my kids. It's good to be home, and to be back in touch with you all.

Another She Speaks answer

Hi Gals. I'm back as promised to answer the following question:

"My big question is this, just how do you start? In otherwords, how do you get churches, women's groups, etc. to see you as a viable speaker when your experience speaking is very minimal?"

I believe with all my heart that God wants you to share your story of His loving faithfulness and that He will orchestrate opportunities for you to do so.

That can be with people you already know, and with people you meet in the coffee shop or hair salon in your everyday life. It may also be with several people all at once in scheduled times like small group meetings or ministry events. Pray for God to open doors of opportunity all around you.

Meanwhile, volunteer for speaking roles in your own church - lead a women's Sunday School class, small group, or Bible study. Your local church is a valuable place to serve and gain experience, and your pastor and women's ministry director can recommend you to the network of churches they know. Word-of-mouth recommendations from people that have heard you are invaluable.

Also look for places outside your church to get involved and serve such as community bible studies, Christan support groups, or MOPS groups. These are places that provide speaking opportunities, but also that connect you with women from other churches. Let these women know of your willingness to speak at events around your area. You could ask them to take your business card to their women's ministry director.

Its been said you've got a good message that you're presenting well when one speaking engagement leads to others. Often times I will speak in one city and someone in that audience is visiting from another city or church. They will go home and tell their church about me. Then I'll be asked to speak for this church, sometimes even years later. So once the ball gets rolling, it can generate some momentum and create widening paths.

Some helpful tools to have in addition to the recommendations of others are a demo recording, a speaker bio sheet, and a place on the web where people can learn more about you. They aren't necessary at the start but will become needed as God expands your work. She Speaks can teach you more about this.

One of the inspiring things about attending She Speaks is meeting so many women - on that same path as you, with the same passion as you - and hearing their stories. Each one of us at Proverbs 31 and each one of the attendees at the conference have a different story to tell in answer to your question about getting started. But there is one common denominator in all those stories and in all of our "starts." That's God and His unfailing plans.

So again, I encourage you to pray to the One that created you for His pleasure and purposes. Pray to the One who gives you reason to speak. Pray and ask Him to bring about the good plans He has for your life as you seek to glorify Him in words.

And let me know how it goes at your first speaking engagement!

?s on writing or speaking

Hi and welcome. I'm writing to answer some of the questions received on the Q&A on Lysa TerKeurst's blog about P31's annual She Speaks conference for aspiring speakers and writers. Lysa was so swamped with questions, she asked me to address a few of them. (If you were checking back in to see my answers to your bible study questions on my earlier post - sit tight as I will get back to that and I've got some good ideas for you!)

I'll start tonight by answering the several people who asked:

"How do you decide between speaking and writing? I'm torn on which track to take."

When you register for the conference you'll have to declare a track and that will automatically determine some of the sessions you'll attend. But you also get to choose many of your breakout sessions and you can choose those from either track! The great thing about She Speaks is you are able to customize your conference to suit your needs.

I'll also mention that many people attend this conference more than once. So another option is to concentrate in one area this year and get started doing that. Then come back next year, or when you're ready, to try your hand at the other.

Others commenters wanted to know if you have to do both writing and speaking to be successful:

"I have more of an interest in speaking...do the two have to go hand in hand though. I love to blog - I write most every day but have never considered myself a "writer."

"How do you decide between books or speaking? I DO NOT like formal writing, but know that God did not bless my son just for my family, but for us to share his story and the healing power of Jesus Christ in our lives and we went through."

You do not have to do both to be successful at one, though they do often go hand in hand. You can speak in your church and around your city or region without needing to publish your words. You will probably need to know a few things that She Speaks can teach you in order to get this going but you don't have to become a "professional writer" in order to speak to groups of women if God has called you to speak.

For those of you who are more interested in writing - the thought of speaking in front of a group of women causes you to have to breathe in and out from a paper bag - let me assure you that you can write for websites, e-zines and various magazines (like the P31 Woman) without needing to travel around as a public speaker. But you'll need to have good writing on viable topics and She Speaks can help you with this.

"Can I get my book idea published without being a speaker?"

If your sights are set on publishing a book, I can tell you that a book publisher will be more likely to take a chance on you and your book idea if you are out there speaking on the topic. This is because your speaking helps to market the book. There are plenty of exceptions to this rule so don't think it impossible, but that's the rule of thumb. Also, this isn't the case as much for fiction writers.

Likewise, if you are a speaker dreaming of giving your message in front of thousands, you will most likely need a successfully published book before being invited to that speaking engagement. This is because your book lying on beside tables across the country will help to draw attendees to that stadium (which costs lots of money to rent). Again, there are exceptions but this is typically the case.

All you need to do right now is pray over it and ask God to reveal to you what your next step is and be obedient to that, allowing Him to manage the rest. If you think She Speaks may be your next step, then go ahead and register ... oh and be sure to introduce yourself to me when you're there! :)

Stay tuned as my next posts will tell you some of my journey as a speaker/writer and will also answer the question: "My big question is this, just how do you start?"

Have you heard about She Speaks?

Hello cyber-friends. Miss me? I've been missing you. Some of you we're so sweet to email and check on me becuase I've been MIA lately. The flu hit my household - and it hit hard. Yuck!


My speaking engagement went well, so thank you if you prayed for that. Prayer makes such a big differnce. My book project is comming along S-L-O-W-L-Y but well. I'm enjoying the process, but wish that it were moving along more quickly than it is. I have to remind myself there are no shortcuts to places truly worth going in life.



I'm wondering if you have a desire to speak, or to write, for God's glory? If so, I have a terriffic resource to tell you about. Its P31's annual She Speaks conference and it takes place this June in Charlotte, NC. There's a track for aspiring speakers, another for writers, another for women in ministry positions within their churches, and a new one for teen girls who want to influence their generation. If that intrigues you, check out the link! And I'd love to see you there.

She Speaks conference '07

I got the index for the book turned in (whoo hoo), my two speaking sessions created (hoo ha), and managed to pack way too much (a gal's gotta have options) before getting on the road to Charlotte for the P31 She Speaks conference. I'll do the Saturday morning general session, as well as a breakout session for beginning speakers, and lead a critique group.

I've arrived a few days early for some staff conference time and I'm enjoying Zoe's hospitality. It always fills me up to see my P31 teammates. We each work so hard every year to put this conference on - and we are thrilled to bless the women who come, to help nurture their dreams, and to minister side-by-side with one another. My teammates are awesome ... I would hate to be a "lone ranger" in ministry.

This year we've about doubled in attendees - over 400 - spilled over into a second hotel, and women are still calling to try to register. I know a great weekend is in store and can hardly wait until Friday. The best part for me is hearing afterwards from the participants what God whispered to their heart or birthed in their life during the She Speaks weekend. If you happen to be a 2007 attendee, I hope you will leave a comment or send me an email and tell me what God spoke to you during your time with us!

For the fame of His name,