Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Thoughts on Honest Prayer

My devotion on gut-honest prayers is published today at Proverbs 31 Ministries - you can read it here.

E.M. Bounds writes:

"Prayer, with its manifold and many-sided forces, helps the mouth to utter the truth in its fullness and freedom."

"A holy mouth is made by praying, by much praying;
a brave mouth is made by praying, by much praying."

Prayer is a way, or a place, where we can get honest before God and before ourselves as well. We can allow God to search our hearts and show us what we need to confess. We can gather the courage to say what needs saying, or to do what needs doing. It is a place where we can find grace, direction, healing, courage and freedom.

Feel free to leave your prayer request here and I will pray for you today.

(And feel free to pray for the requests others have left.)


  1. This is my first time doing this, and I just wanted to say thank you for allowing us to open up for you to pray.

    We are praying fervently for a farm. Our circumstances are not ideal to get one as we've recently filed bankruptcy and for the first time in 14 years we are renting. Also with the economy the way it is, it can get even more discouraging.

    However, we know that our God can move mountains, and he can bless us with things that seem impossible. Sometimes we get discouraged, though, but everyday we try to expect God's favor for that farm to come through.

    Please join us in praying for this dream farm, not only for our pleasure, but to raise our children with working hard, not so much internet, and away from their "friends" that have been such bad influences on them.

    Thank you so much.


  2. Rachel,
    Thank you for your beautiful Proverbs 31 devotion. I read it right after posting some similar thoughts on my own blog. It is so nice to know we are not alone in our struggles. Please pray for my friend today who is a young mom recently diagnosed with uterine cancer. Thank you

  3. Thanks Rachel for opening up this platform to intercede for one another.

    I pray for the anonymous person requesting prayer for a farm and for her children. I want to assure you that God is great and He is able and faithful. Hold on to your faith that He will provide. He will make a way where there seems to be no way. I pray for your children that God annoint them and guide them and protect them and put a hedge of protection around them. God bless your family.

    I pray for the young Mom with Uterine cancer. I pray that God grants them peace and courage in this difficult situation and that they feel God carrying them through this situation and give them strength.

    I ask you to pray for my son...who is different...desn't have many friends...but I pray that he doesn't feel lonely or hurt or rejected. I know God has put him and us through this path for a reason and I thank him.

    I also request pray for my husband in his job situation. He is into medical research and he sees that although the work that he does is good and fruitful the results are being misused and exploited bby greedy people and not being utilized for the betterment of humanity. That he wins God's favor and direction as to what he needs to do (professionally and careerwise).

    I request prayer for my friend who is being pounded with affliction. That God givees her strength to endure and faith to still trust in Him.


  4. I firmly beleive in prayer and and it's power, but I have been feeling very discouraged lately. I have a son who is not walking with God and being drawn into the world. Sometimes it's hard to keep trusting when it seens that the opposite thing to your pray is happening right before you. Please pray for my son to be brought back to God in a mighty way.

  5. Rachel,
    I have taken to heart your devotional for today. I have been praying a lot for God's hand and for me to except it. I have been sick for about 3 years now. At first, everyone told me it was all in my head. I finially got awhole of some doctors that could help me. I was in a car accident aboout 3 years ago and alot of my issues today are from this accident. I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and a autoimmune disorder,not sure which 1 yet. I have also been diagnosed with depression, which has taken the toll on my new marriage and my Family. This is my Husband's and my secound marriage. We both have children, too. We have been together for 5 year this past Sept. and all I can say is that I have treated the one person, who ever loved me truely,awful. He now says he wants a divorce because he is empty and can't take it anymore. I Love him withmy whole heart and I just wish he would open up again. He was the one who opened me up to many things, like God, again. I pray every chance I get for him, us, our children. I have gotten angry with God because I feel it has fallen on deaf ears. I keep praying and I have told God how I truely feel. I'm scared and confused and truely longer for the man that I hurt so bad. To top everything off I just got laid off. I have seen God's work.I have wittnessed His strength. I just wish I new God was listening.I can't comprehend God wanting us to divorce.I won't stop praying and working toward the best for my Family and my marriage. Thank you for inspiration to keep praying.Please support me in my quest for a marriage of God's will.

  6. I am very frustrated right now. I have fervently prayed for my husband with his job. He has a boss who just beats him up verbally. Only coming to him with problems and doesn't want to help with any solutions. Emotionally my husband is at his end. I've prayed that God lift him up. My husband needs some good days.

  7. My husband and I have been trying to purchase a home for 3 months. Our financing fell through on the first home we had made an offer on; we found another and are currently waiting on the bank's approval.

    We are trying to move so that our blended family can be together in the same town. Our 2 oldest children live with their mother and are wanting to possibly live with us. This can't happen unless we get this house!

  8. Dear Rachel,

    I believe that God answers prayer and sometimes those answers are immediate. I was driving into work this a.m. pouring my heart out to God about the struggles I've had since losing my son to cancer in 2004. God immediately spoke to my heart and revealed that my son had fulfilled his purpose on earth and that his spiritual body was safely with him. I questioned his transition because he turned 12 eight days before his death. God also spoke to me and revealed how great his love was for my son and for me.

    I'm saying all of this to say that when I came into work,,,I opened your devotion in Proverbs 31 and it spoke directly to my struggles with my sons death and other areas of my life.

    It seems that God always speaks to us and then confirms that word.

    I pray that you will continue to be a mouthpiece for God.

    Thank you for the release.


  9. Rachel,
    I happen to scan some blogs and found myself accident I'm guessing now that I see your open up your platform to pray for us.

    My Christian husband divorced me unbliblically last November 07. He's been gone for 15 months. Satan has gravely deceived him that he is following God in this and that God told him our covenant is broken. My heart breaks every time I repeat those words. I hate satan and his evil ways especially with God's children. My beloved loves the Lord deeply and I know he's attending church, worshipping, praying, reading, serving God. It's this one issue with our marriage that he's fallen away from our Father. I didn't treat him the way I now know God calls me to as a wife.

    That's about as brief as I can make it.

    On top of that a second request would be for God to sell my house. I've been physically and financially taking care of the home by myself and it's emotionally wearing on my spirit.

    I feel much like one of the previous anonymous does. I felt at times God has forgotten me. Why has he left m in this house so long especially after I realized I was really ready to leave the house about three months ago. I like anonymous at times feel my prayers fall on deaf ears.

    If that anonymous comes back, I'd like to tell her:

    God does not want you to get a divorce. If that were to happen, it would fall on your's husband sinful desires and follow his flesh and not God. God would never tell a person to divorce. He tells us in Malachi 2:16 "I hate divorce".

    Just like with my husband, God did NOT tell him to divorce me, especially with no biblical grounds (such as infidelity). However, my beloved chose to escape his pain and view our life together through his own eyes and not through the power of God.

    Thanks Rachel for praying for us.
    Sometimes we can't pray for ourselves like others can for us.
    In Him,

  10. I am asking that you pray for a stranger struggling with anger. I am a mother of two beautiful gifts from God, a daughter and a son. I have a wonderful husband and every reason in the world to be happy-but I am not.

  11. My marriage is in a terrible place. I have sought counseling from our pastor and his wife. In the past my husband has refused to come. Please pray that he would attend with me. Also, my 11 year old son has a serious problem with anger. He is very disrespectful to me and his father. We struggle with how to discipline him. Please pray for wisdom for us and that the Lord would soften his heart.
    Thank you,

  12. pbrcox continued (accidently sent comment)
    At church a few weeks ago, the sermon was about being truly happy-on the inside-no matter what the situation in your life. I used to be that happy. I don't know exactly when that changed but I feel empty. I want to feel whole and happy again, and I pray everyday that God will help me. I try to be a good Christian, but I know I am falling short. So, again, I just ask that you would pray for a stanger dealing with anger issues. Thank you and may God continue to bless you!

  13. Please pray for my 11 year oldd daughter who is suffering with so many medical problems and has been in the hospital now for over 6 weeks and is not expected to go home for another month or more. She is such a beautiful and accepting child of all that has been put on her. She has suffered with so much pain over the last few months and all she wants to do is be a normal kid. Sometimes I cry out to God and ask Him Why and I feel like He is not listening to me and I wonder how He can allow a child to endure so much at such a young age. Please pray for my daughter's spirit as well as her physical health. This time in the hospital has been so hard on her and our entire family.

    Thank you for praying for us!
    In Christ,

  14. I found this blog because a friend sent me the Gut-Honest Prayer devotional.
    I am extremely shy about my problems as I know that they are consequences of a greater sin.
    I knowingly married an unbeliever even while knowing in my heart it was a mistake. Since then ( 8 1/2 years) much misery has come into my life. I have no reason biblically to seek divorce but not a day goes by that it is not far from my thoughts. My husband is verbally abusive as well as abuses alcohol. Financially we are in major trouble.
    I work two jobs while he has a job with no benefits, etc.

    Exhaustion, frustration, and despair have taken over my life.
    I don't even know how to pray.

    I do know that the Spirit intercedes for me even when my thoughts aren't clear or concise.

    Thank you so much for your ministry.

  15. Thanks Rachel for this forum.

    My husband and I are needing to sell our house by January due to a job relocation. As we know, the market is not favorable for a quick sell. We are trusting in God for his will and favor as we embark on this transition.

    Please join us in prayer for the sell of our house.

  16. I just had to respond to the person (anonymous) who wrote of her marriage and her recent fibromyalgia diagnosis. I have lived with fibro for many years and am just coming out of a three year fibro bout that weighed heavily on my new marriage.

    I will pray for you and your family. God hears your prayers and can restore you marriage. I believe this as I have seen it in my own relationship with my beloved husband. I encourage you to continue to be steadfast in your prayers and maybe prayerfully consider marriage counseling as living with a chronic illness can be challenging for the entire family.

    God bless,
    Rachel in Texas

  17. Thank you so much for your encouraging words on prayer. It is a good reminder--and how blessed we are to have a God that wants to have a relationship with us. God Bless!

  18. I found this blog after leaving a comment on your devotion about trusting God that he does hear our prayers...even the gut-wrenching ones where we question His ways and felt compelled to leave a request of prayer. To some this part of my requests may seem insignificant and honestly I have to be thankful that I don't find myself in a worse place; however, I am struggling and find myself in tears daily and would like the prayers of others if possible.

    First, a little over a month ago my relationship (dating not married, I have been divorced for 5 years) ended and although we remain friends I am having a very hard time with this change. I truly felt like this was a relationship that was going to be the answer to the prayers I had prayed for so long. The man I was dating was so wonderful; my 6 (now 7) year old son adored him and for the 1st time in his life he actually had someone that acted as a "father" figure in his life. I felt as though we were actually going to have the "family" I had dreamed of and prayed about but unfortunately that did not happen. My prayer has been that God restore the relationship but the answer I desire has not been given yet; actually, things probably took a turn for the worse last night. Maybe this wasn't the relationship God has planned for me but I am hurting so badly and just want to feel better again. I also, strongly desire to have the "family" I have prayed for and that my son prays for.

    Secondly, I am asking for prayers for my financial situation. At present I find myself with $1.00 and a few odd cents in my bank account to last me until I get paid on the 15th; on top of that my dryer quit working last night and I have a pile of wet clothes now to deal with. My situation is due to changing jobs (different pay periods)and probably some irresponsibility on my part but I know that God is faithful and will see me and my son through; I can't help but think that a little extra prayer couldn't hurt either though.

    Thanks and I will certainly be keeping the rest of you in my prayers as well.

    God Bless!

  19. Dearest Heavenly Father i pray right now for every one of these requests. they have poured out their hearts L-rd and i pray peace and comfort and healing to each situation. I pray your hand on every one of these prayer requests. May your love surround them with a "peace that passes understanding" clarity, discernement and wisdom where needed. In the name of Yeshua..Amen!!!! You are all so loved and G-d hears EVERY one of your prayers. Don't give up hope. In all things pray fervently without ceasing. 1 Peter 5:7. Peace and blessings to all of you!

  20. Please pray that God will give me discernment on whether to work and put my kids in public school or stay home and homeschool. I need to work for financial reasons but my heart is at home. I don't know if I am fighting God on this or myself. thanks!

  21. please know i will keep you ladies in prayers.

    i would love to have prayer on my behalf also. my 4 1/2 yr old daughter is very strong willed and she has been testing her father and i lately. please pray for strength, patience and wisdom on how to decipline her and make her understand what is and is not allowed. it really has been wearing on me.

    blessings to you all~

  22. Rachel:

    I just wanted to say thanks for the devotional today. I prayed those gut-wrenching prayers when I was believing God for the healing of my nine-month-old son.

    He died...and I was in a faith crisis. Causing me to pray even MORE gut-wrenching prayers.

    I just want to encourage your readers that God is not offended when you question Him or when you are angry with Him. He can handle it.

    And I also want to assure others that on the other side of the "wrestling mat" is a deep, intimate relationship with your Heavenly Father if you run straight into His arms. Even if you're kicking and screaming all the way there.

    I don't think I'd ever have the level of intimacy with God I have today had it not been for those terrible, confusing, painful months. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but I am so thankful God used my tragedy to draw me closer to Him.

    I'm moved by these prayer requests and will pray for these ladies, too.

    God Bless You,
    Sandy Cooper

  23. I am writing in response to the lady who married an unbeliever. I can hear so much of myself in her story!

    November 7, 2008 will be the 12th Anniversary of my marriage to an unbeliever. We have 2 beautiful children, one an 11 year old boy with Autism Spectrum Disorder, and a 7 year old girl, who has a sweet spirit, and a sweet, Minnie-Mouse-Voice.

    I know your struggle with prayer, feeling so unworthy, due to the "greater sin," as you put it. I have wrestled with this, as I struggled with depression, suicidal ideation, and confusion.

    I grew up in a "Christian Home," so to speak, with a very legalistic and critical mother, and a quiet, but very opinionated father. I witnessed many frightening shouting matches between my parents, and thankfully had a "2nd Home" I could go to, a sweet friend and her Mom&Dad, who opened up their home to me. I believe that my weekends there sheltered me from many of the horrors that happened at home.

    I grew up in church, but always have struggled with accepting that God loves me. Period. Not because I deserve it, not because I can live up to some standard, but just because he chooses to love me...It is more than I can comprehend.

    I met my husband at a time of rebellion. I had some curiosity about sex, and he was there. I feel so dirty admitting this, but it is where I was at this time. When I found out I was pregnant, I floundered between fear, contemplating abortion, hoping I would miscarry, then finally back to marriage. I told my then-boyfriend that I had made some mistakes, but I could not live with him and raise our child unless we were married.

    On the day of my wedding, I was all smiles for the camera, but the tears I cried during the ceremony were not tears of joy. I knew I had made so many mistakes, and premarital sex wasn't the only one. I knew about my husband's temper and insecurity when I married him, but felt that I had "made my bed, and would lie in it," so to speak.

    There have been times in my marriage where my Christian friends would encourage me to "affirm my husband, encourage him." That was the LAST thing I wanted to do. The only affirmation I wanted to give him was a frying pan to the side of the head...LOL!

    But God has been with me through all this struggle, and I know that he can redeem the mistakes I have made, and bring them to His Purpose. (Romans 8:28)

    Please pray for me, as I still struggle with depression, which worsens with hormonal fluctuations.

    My pastor's wife has repeatedly urged me to proclaim truth (from God's Word), in times of struggle. It makes me think of the time that Jesus was taken into the wilderness and tempted by Satan. He didn't just tell Satan to go away. He countered EVERY ONE of Satan's temptations and taunts with a truth from Scripture.

    I have lived much of my life in fear and on the defensive, and it is only little by little that I am learning that the Armor of God consists of defensive AND offensive weapons! Our defensive weapon, the shield of faith, partners so beautifully with the Sword of the Spirit--The amazing Word of God!

    I think I will stop now, but I believe that I was to put these words to paper, not only as an encouragement to others, but as a reminder to myself of the amazing love of God, and the victory awaiting me through prayer.

    Much Love,
    A Christian Sister
    (Who is praying for her husband too)

  24. Rachel, Thanks so very much for the devotion and for this space to come together in prayer and support for each other. I am praying that God will answer each of the needs posted here for I know that our Lord hears our cries for mercy!

    I too have been struggling for many years with a husband that although he accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior when he was was a young teenager, but he suffers severely from smoking since he was 16, and is angry because of the financial, physical and psychological stress of having a son with severe disabilities and a teenage daughter diagnosed with cancer 3 years ago and is still getting intensive treatment. We have spent our married life taking care of our children, foregone vacations, and spent very little time together. He has sometimes worked 3 jobs while I stayed home with the children. I got a job recently and lost it in three weeks because our daughter had to begin treatment again.
    Yes, I wonder why God has allowed our life to be so tough. Especially when I look at others taking wonderful vacation, driving nice cars, eating out often, and then complaining that they need a break. I have read several times that our pain is brought on by sin and I struggle to grasp that my son's disability and my daughter's cancer is because of their or my sin. I am searching for understanding. I have recently read 'Breathing Grace' by Harry Kraus and I am doing Kay Arthur's bible study-Lord, Heal my Hurts. Both have been helpful. I have also spent much time crying out to God those gut wrenching prayers of pure honestly.

    I pray that God make clear to each of you His answers to your prayers!

    Love and blessings

  25. pbrcox I have been in a similar situation in the past anger just took over everything and the slightest thing would set it off. From my experiences I would like to suggest a couple of things that might help.

    1 Get some counselling. It may not get rid of the cause of the anger but it will certainly help you to deal with it in a better way and you will have someone you can talk to totally openly with out any fear of being judged.

    2 As this has been going on for sometime it may be that you are suffering from depression, this is what happened to me. Try going to a doctor who you feel you can be totally honest with and explain everything that has been happening to you. Remember not all depression is caused by our own attitudes etc it can often have a physical cause so there is nothing to be ashamed of. You wont be drugged up and sent to a psychiatrist on the spot or anything like that but the doctor can recomend some things to help you through. It might possibly include mild medication but please don't be afraid of that. I felt at the time that I was pushed into a corner so I had no choice but for me that was certainly the best thing.

    I hope this will give you some kind of direction towards sorting things out. I would be pleased if my bad experiences could be used to help someone else.


  26. Heavenly Father who hears us when we cry, surround your children with your love. Speak to the heart of each woman here who has requested prayer and those who have not. You know what is in our hearts Lord. You know that the plans you have for us are to prosper and not to harm; to give us hope and a future. When we call on you, you will answer for you have promised to never leave us or forsake us. But we also know that you do all things in your time and according to your perfect will, and sometimes we struggle to wait and to understand your will. Fill us with your Spirit, Lord, that we may understand and that we may turn to you and lay our burdens on you. Remind us that your yoke is easy and your burden is light.

    In Jesus' name I pray,


    Note from Karen to those who are struggling in marriage to others who are either unbelievers, or whose faith is faltering; continue to pray for them. I have had a persistent prayer in this regard to over 8 years (for children and husband) and I am finding peace. My prayer has changed over the years; instead of saying what I think God should do, I am asking him to show me how I should change; how I should be, how I should act and how I should pray. There is also a blog of women who share this same struggle. I have posted the url here and if any of you want to visit, it is a good spot to land and gain support from this community of women.

    May you all receive peace from your struggles today.

    In Him,


  27. Ladies
    I haven't commented on this page for such a long time..mostly because I have been trying to find myself with the Lord and through counseling. but if I don't ask all of you to pray for me I think I will bust. at this moment in time I have no food to feed my family nor gas in the car to go to work. You would think any person in the world would panic. Well I don't think its a time to panic but it is a time to trust and be obedient. Psalm 91 says (and I am going to paraphrase a lot) "He who dwells in the secret place of the most high shall abide under the shadow of the almighty I will say..He is my refuge & my fortrss & HIM I will TRUST...You will cover me and then under your wings I will take refuge..I won't be afraid of the dark or any garbage that walks in it..not one bit of evil will come on me because you give charge over your angels to hold me up...I will honor you all the days of my life and will satisfy you because I showed you where my salvation lyes" PRAISE THE LORD!OO

    This morning I was crying and now I am rejoicing because I know He promised me He would sustain me...please hold me in your prayers..yes we need to eat and yes I need to go to work to provide but the Lord is my refuge and a mighty fortress..where else do I turn but through the Father...

    Love Donna

  28. Rachel,
    Hello, Thank you for all you do.
    Yes I will also help pray for all here.
    I would Love Prayer for Brad and I, we are looking for a New Church, one that we can be involved with, One that preaches on Grace and the Love of Jesus Christ.

    Rachel, do you need prayer for anything??
    Be Blessed my Sister

  29. Hi Everybody....
    I am so moved by all the postings...I can relate with almost everybody here....
    As per sister is in one the worst i can think of, as per no food and money....i have gone thru a lot of such period growing up...( I am particularly inspired by five designs attitude)...

    I have my struggles too...but so as not to forget, i am going to print out this page and pray for each and everyone of u.

    My major struggle....right my prayer life. I need u guys to pray for me about that. It has downspiralled badly and still is. I am so lazy about praying now....sometimes when i get around to it, i dont feel any connection with God. It scares me and bothers me a lot. Pls help.It is really important to me. it is killing my spiritual life gradually.

    RACHEAL.....u r such a huge blessing.....I dont know what ur prayer requests are but i am going to be praying for u seriously tonight.
    I pray that the Lord will continually uphold u, strengthen u, protect u and all urs, bless u with all good and spiritual gifts, grant all ur heart's desires,.....I decree every good thing into ur life.....Joy, peace, happiness, prosperity.In ur marriage...unity, love, understanding, hapiness, joy, patience....In Jesus' name.

  30. Hi Rachel,
    I really need prayer for direction in my life. I've been out of work for two months now and its been frustrating. I can say that God has been good to me, he is the ultimate caretaker. I'm just trying to keep the faith in these trying times.


  31. I just finished reading your Gut/Honest/prayers and it touched me deep in my soul. I am going through a very difficult time with my son, who continues to get into legal problems. And I am so scared that he might end up dead or worse in jail. I can not sleep and am having a hard time finding joy in my life. I have been so angry at God for letting this happen. I keep praying that God will take me home to be with him, as I no longer wish to live in this world. I don't understand why I have been praying for years that God change my son's heart, and make him want to live for him again. To no luck so far. I am asking everyone who reads this to please pray for my son to find his way back to God, and to ask God to help with his legal problems.

  32. I just finished reading your Gut/Honest/prayers and it touched me deep in my soul. I am going through a very difficult time with my son, who continues to get into legal problems. And I am so scared that he might end up dead or worse in jail. I can not sleep and am having a hard time finding joy in my life. I have been so angry at God for letting this happen. I keep praying that God will take me home to be with him, as I no longer wish to live in this world. I don't understand why I have been praying for years that God change my son's heart, and make him want to live for him again. To no luck so far. I am asking everyone who reads this to please pray for my son to find his way back to God, and to ask God to help with his legal problems.

  33. Thank you Rachel for allowing us to open up to you for prayer.

    I have a lovely daughter who has a heart for God and wants to marry a Godly man. She is 26 and wants afamily of her own. Please pray for her loneleness she is feeling right now. I know God has the right person for her in do time but she feels her time clock ticking away.

    Plus I have a son who is struggling with peer pressure and college. Please pray for him in his decisions he makes.

    I ask prayer for me also. I have gotten away from reading my bible and the worry about my family has gotten me down.

    Thank you

  34. I am learning to pray ... desperately! But I am not studying the word so I have no words with which to speak .... God help me! Crying before Him may move Him to sympathy but it doesn't move Him to action ..... So I confess my sins, then I place my request with tears .... Studying His words to pray back to Him is essential ..... I have learnt this, so now starts the process of attempting to study His word to be more effective in what I do ... I must confess, its tedious, but has to be done, daily ...



  36. Dear Rachel,

    Thank you for writing Gut-Honest Prayers. I am a divorced mother with a 10-year old. I was laid off my $60,000 year job. It has been 13 months. I have a stack of rejection notices. Amazingly enough God has not allowed the home to go into foreclosure. I am just now 88 days past due on the loan. I feel like a professional interviewer but I am growing weary. Sometimes I get tired of hearing my own testimony. People are kind at first, "You still haven't found a job". then the next time their tone changes and a little skowl comes across thrir forehead as they say "You still haven't found a job?" I can feel their criticism but I hold fast to the belief that God has never left me nor forsaken me. I have never seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging bread. Then my own criticism comes in, "well we aren't begging but we might need to start asking more." My own feelings of belief and unbelief are starting to pull at me. Now I now that God loves me. I am not hungry, we have clothes and a warm place to stay. We may not have the food we want but I know my way around the kitchen. I want a job, with benefits so we can be financially sound again. My neighbors cut my grass this summer, they do not want me to lose the house. I don't either. When I cry out to God I feel like Hannah when she prayed, in bitterness of her soul. I am a talented woman, and they tell me that I interview really well. Then they tell me that they cannot pay me what I used to make, then I tell them, that is okay, I've spent that already anyway. They laugh. but they do not hire me. They think I will leave as soon as I get a better offer. And to some degree they are right to think that way. But I cannot answer that with 100% certainty when I am facing foreclosure and my interview suits are two years old and my shoes have lost their shine and my child got taller over the summer so her shirts are not quite covering her belly and her jeans are kinda snug and good Lord, she needs new tennis shoes because her feet are growing - how did that happen???? God help me! God help all single mothers. I got desperate and applied to that store with the red bullseye. They sent me a rejection letter. I became rather indignant after that. Of course you cannot go on an interview and say I am facing a financial crisis, can you give me a job please. It is simply much easier to apply to the ones that you are well qualified for and then when the rejection letter comes, crawl into bed, get into the fetal position, pull the covers and scream and cry and ask God why? How long must I...? Then of course I stop crying in time to wash my face so I can pick up my daughter from school. Can't let the child know I'd been crying. So...enough venting.
    Dear God, please forgive us. Lord we hurt. We've been waiting for you to deliver us, but it seems like you're taking a very long time. We hurt, our heart aches. We know you love us and you told us that you would never leave us. Where are you God? The bill collectors are so mean and nasty to us. They do not care about our struggles. We are reminded of ways you've delivered us in the past. Amazing deliverance. Many would say "13 months with no job and still in the house - that's great". And we acknowledge that. But they are not receiving the foreclosure letters and cutoff notices. They haven't interviewed until the final two candidates remain and the other candidate is selected. They haven't felt that. So God help me forgive them. I pray they never have to walk in my place. I pray that you bless them and show them your mercy and grace. Help them to understand that it rains on the just and the unjust. Show them that this situation is designed just for God to handle. Because God is my Father and I am his child, and he knows what I need even before I ask right now. Father, I need a job so I can provide for my household. I need a job with enough income so I can pay the mortgage and the utilities and get caught up on the maintenance, and Lord, I need a job so that when the offering plate goes by at church that I will be able to contribute cheerfully. I used to do that when I had a job. I used to give to others and give when others were in need. Lord, you remember. Please remember me. Bless me as you see fit. I do not know exactly where you want me to work, but I cast down every imagination that does not line up with what you have in store for me. I know it is coming. Give me more patience and grace to endure this trial. But Lord, I'd like to go to work tomorrow. Now I am going to go fix my hair and iron my suits once again and wait expectantly for a communication of deliverance notice from you. In your time, God. Love you, I do. Amen.


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