Oh my gracious, what a week I had. I spoke out of town last weekend, came home Sunday and by Monday I wasn't feeling well. By Tuesday I could hardly get out of bed and it was evident why - stomach flu. And on Wednesday, I had to drive a few hours to speak at another church Wednesday night.
I wasn't sure if I could make a long drive up a highway with no exits and no bathrooms near by. I wasn't sure if I could make it through a 45 minute talk. Not being able to keep much food or water in me, I was weak and light headed. And I knew that if I was going to stand and deliver a coherent message well Wednesday evening, it would be by the grace of God.
I had to battle fear as well as the flu.
The way things unfolded once I got to the church - I wasn't late, there were just some technical issues and snags to take care of behind the scenes in the sound booth that took a looong time to solve - it was basically as if I walked from my car to the front pew just as the worship leader took the stage for the opening song. I had no time to get my bearings - I didn't even know where the steps to the stage where. It was being videoed - I didn't know where the cameras were. As the music began, I turned to my friend Amy Carroll who had come with me and said, "Could I feel any more scattered right now?"
Everyone stood to worship, I stood a minute, then dropped into my seat and prayed - desperate for strength and assurance and anointing. The music ended, I took the stage and Jesus showed up and called me to Him on the water. At least that's what it felt like to me. To the audience I'm sure it just looked like a typical Wednesday evening at church. But I knew that Jesus had carried me through more so than usual.
So that was my small storm on the lake this week. Are you reading It's No Secret along with us? We've just completed chapter 6, "Don't Be Afraid in the Dark." And we've learned that when Jesus doesn't calm the storm right away, it's usually because He has something for us to see first (pg 126).
In my case this week, I'd gotten an invitation to speak at a big church on a difficult topic and I wasn't so sure I could do it. I was ... fearful. My focus was on the magnitude of the event and my own limited abilities, rather than on God. Then along came a stomach bug and Wednesday night's event, and God showed me that He can carry me through any event - that I'm never alone and I'm never dependent solely on my abilities.
Did this week's chapters stir up anything in you? Did you blog about it? If so link up here and I'll come read your posts. Oh, and be sure to stop by Melissa's blog to comment there and maybe win a prize!