Do you feel not quite good enough much of the time?
Avoid starting projects for worry you’ll fail? Miss deadlines because you’re still working to get it just right? Fear others seeing less than your best? Do you think "average" is an ugly word?
If so, it's likely you are plagued by perfectionism. I know; I've been there. And I shared an important biblical truth about this in my devotion today at the Proverbs 31 site. I elaborate further on it in chapter 7 of my new book It’s No Secret: Revealing Divine Truths Every Woman Should Know.
I suspect a majority of us struggle with perfectionistic thinking from time to time, at least in certain areas of our lives. So I’ll be talking about perfectionism all week on this blog. I hope you’ll stay with me for it because while we tend to praise successful perfectionists, the reality is perfectionistic tendencies hinder most of us.
Today I just want us to get on the same page in defining perfectionism. After all, it’s good to want to do a job well. It’s natural to desire to be successful. Perfectionism just takes those fine thoughts a little too far. Perfectionism refers to a set of self-defeating thoughts and behaviors driving you to set, and to expect to reach, excessively high or unrealistic goals.
And as I pointed out in the devotion, it usually causes us to hyper-focus on our appearance and performance rather than our motives and character. God is more interested in our heart and character. Plus, it often adds emotional instability to our lives.
Tomorrow I’ll talk about several common causes of perfectionism. And later this week we’ll look at how perfectionism affects our relationships, and how to overcome it’s strong grip.
But today I have an exciting announcement for you. As a lover of words, books and all things bookish, I want to gift one of my readers with a brand new Kindle e-reader with Wi-Fi!
If you aren’t one of the nearly 1 in 10 people already reading on an e-reader – here is your chance. If you have an older version – here is your chance to upgrade. And if you’re already using a Kindle 3 – here is your chance to get someone the coolest Christmas gift.
HOW TO ENTER …
1) Leave a comment on this post naming a specific way your perfectionism raises it’s ugly head and you’ll have a chance to win.
2) Spread the word about this perfectionism series and giveaway – Tweet, Face Book, tell your book club, small group or scrapbooking club, etc. – then leave another comment telling me what you did. You’ll receive a second chance to win.
3) Buy a copy of my new book It’s No Secret and leave another comment here telling me where you bought it, and you’ll get a third chance to win. (No need to forward me your receipt – I trust you!)
4) If you’ve read the book, post a favorite line or describe a meaningful-to-you section of it and you’ll have a fourth chance to win.
5) Post a helpful review of the book at one or more of the online sites listed on my “books” page. Then leave a comment telling me where you reviewed it and you’ll get a fifth chance to win.
* You have one week to enter – I’ll announce the winner on Tuesday, October 5th.
I realize I’ve asked you to spend money purchasing a book for those last three chances to win. So I’ll be throwing in a $10 Amazon gift card for the winner. You can use it to buy an e-book for your new Kindle, or to buy anything else at Amazon. That’s a perfect giveaway in my eyes - hope you win!
This was something I needed very much to read, to hear, to accept. I often find myself setting my goals far higher than is realisticly attainable for me, I always have. It wasn't enough to put myself through college, I had to go to school full time, work full time and raise three daughters at the same time, and then graduating wasn't enough, I had to graduate with honors. I continued to push myself beyond physical and emotional limits for years until my body simply gave out on me, I am still trying to recover and to reach even a portion of the expectations I used to place on myself, and I still almost daily catch myself pushing myself far to much. In my head I hear myself rationalizing that a good girl, or woman, would do more, accomplish more, even when I should be satisfied. When was it we all started to believe we had to be all things to all people in our lives or we weren't good enough, not even for God?
ReplyDeleteRaisie
I cringe whenever someone calls me a leader. I read all of the leadership qualities in 1 Timothy, 2 Timothy, and Titus; wondering if I'll ever measure up. I also cringe when someone asks what I do for a living, because I'm out of work. If my Christian friends didn't push me, I'd be afraid to do anything at all.
ReplyDeleteI commented on your blog for an entry, and I commented on Facebook for an entry.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I go out - to church, to school, to the store - I am constantly comparing myself to the other women around me. What are they wearing, how thin are they, how do they have their hair styled. It has become an addiction almost. And whenever I see someone who I think has it more together than I do (which is frequently), I start thinking in my mind what I should change about myself or what I can do to look better.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't even get me started on my house...
I can't come up with only one thing to list. I believe I've been a 'perfectionista' most of my life. It began with trying to win my fathers love. It continued into trying to perfect every single thing about wifedom and motherhood so that I could win my exhusbands love - it would take me forever to tell you how many people I tried to become; all the ones he would commend, compliment, or pay attention to pretty well sums it up. After a lifetime of berating myself and blaming myself for never measuring up enough to deserve to be loved I am three years into trusting God with my broken places. Trusting what He has to say about me. Trusting His word instead of the lies that satan has waiting on the end of a hook each and every day. Some days are better than others, but I believe with my whole heart that God is with me, loving me, cheering me on, and believing in me to be able to handle whatever comes my way because I'm passionate about committing it all to Him and trusting Him with it no matter what. And some days it's an every second recommittment. Every second of every day it's the purest most amazing, unfailing, unconditional love I've ever known.
ReplyDeleteMy perfectionism shows itself everyday. I am a public school teacher and I constantly berate myself for never doing enough. I always leave school with stacks of paper STILL needing to be graded and phone calls STILL needing to be made. This explanation really spoke to my need to feel perfect and it helped me understand what God wants from me.
ReplyDeleteI have always known I have perfectionist issues. I constantly set unrealistic goals for myself that are either way too hard to reach, or just not possible to complete in the time frame I have allowed. Then I get annoyed about it. For example, my husband & I both have children from previous marriages, so that means we must deal with EXs... Without going into much detail, I am constantly battling my need to be perfect against the simplest little things regarding the kids. "They can't wear those clothes to church/school/grocery store.... People will think I dressed them this way!" His ex wife never inspects their clothes, doesn't even know what they actually own, sends them without shoes, underwear, etc. Then there's the stains,torn spots, or cigarette smell that I can't get out, I know I constanly compare her mothering skills against mine, (mentally) as well as her rearing skills.
ReplyDeleteYesterday, my husband said that I need to stop focusing on the perfect part of everything, and just be a loving mother like they need. I was so annoyed because things I had planned didn't go as planned. In fact, something that I had wanted to do, just didn't happen at all, and Iet it ruin my whole day.
There is more at stake here than just a few stained shirts. These children and mine need to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior. But, because of my worry-wart and perfectionist attitude, I have let it keep me from taking them to church on Sunday morning because they didn't have the proper clothes, When all I had to do was find something for them to sleep in, wash what they wore here, and go to church. Simple as that, but instead, I let it get to me,
I have so many more perfectionist issues going on that I care to write about, but let me say, this comes right after I had a huge fit because his children accidently took some of my children's clothes home with them. I have asked God to help me overcome this issue, and help me to keep my mouth shut when it needs to be, help me to get past the past, and push toward the future, and in the here and now, be a beacon for him to both our children. I have a lot of work to do here, and he's still working on me. I know this, but for whatever reason, I just want everything to be perfect, run smoothly, and I let it affect my inner core so much, that I get disappointed when it doesn't work out. I think the serenity prayer is for people like me. Thanks so much for this devotion,as it has shown me how much my perfect attitude is showing.
I have always known I have perfectionist issues. I constantly set unrealistic goals for myself that are either way too hard to reach, or just not possible to complete in the time frame I have allowed. Then I get annoyed about it. For example, my husband & I both have children from previous marriages, so that means we must deal with EXs... Without going into much detail, I am constantly battling my need to be perfect against the simplest little things regarding the kids. "They can't wear those clothes to church/school/grocery store.... People will think I dressed them this way!" His ex wife never inspects their clothes, doesn't even know what they actually own, sends them without shoes, underwear, etc. Then there's the stains,torn spots, or cigarette smell that I can't get out, I know I constanly compare her mothering skills against mine, (mentally) as well as her rearing skills.
ReplyDeleteYesterday, my husband said that I need to stop focusing on the perfect part of everything, and just be a loving mother like they need. I was so annoyed because things I had planned didn't go as planned. In fact, something that I had wanted to do, just didn't happen at all, and Iet it ruin my whole day.
There is more at stake here than just a few stained shirts. These children and mine need to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior. But, because of my worry-wart and perfectionist attitude, I have let it keep me from taking them to church on Sunday morning because they didn't have the proper clothes, When all I had to do was find something for them to sleep in, wash what they wore here, and go to church. Simple as that, but instead, I let it get to me,
I have so many more perfectionist issues going on that I care to write about, but let me say, this comes right after I had a huge fit because his children accidently took some of my children's clothes home with them. I have asked God to help me overcome this issue, and help me to keep my mouth shut when it needs to be, help me to get past the past, and push toward the future, and in the here and now, be a beacon for him to both our children. I have a lot of work to do here, and he's still working on me. I know this, but for whatever reason, I just want everything to be perfect, run smoothly, and I let it affect my inner core so much, that I get disappointed when it doesn't work out. I think the serenity prayer is for people like me. Thanks so much for this devotion,as it has shown me how much my perfect attitude is showing.
Rachel,
ReplyDeleteThis is JUST what I needed to read this morning as I woke up thinking of all I needed to do to get the house clean and "perfect" just in case my neighbor who said she might stop by this morning actually does. As I read your devo, I felt as if you were me, reading my mind, knowing my heart.
I have read that verse many times and never looked at it the way you taught this morning.
Thank you, friend, for helping me take captive my thoughts this morning to the obedience of Christ, for redirecting them. Perhaps instead of cleaning, I think God would rather I be praying for my friend and why she needs to stop by and visit with this morning.
Love you,
Wendy
Most of my life I have striven to do my best. But after marrying a perfectionist, I have worked harder to meet his expectations. My loving husband likes all things in order. I also like others, compare myself to other women. My sister-in-law seems to always have everything under control. She is "Super-Mom". I can't even start about my physical appearance. I know that I should only be concerned with the perfection that my Savior wants. But our world works against us so hard!! If only I could just hear God's Word and only strive to His perfection!
ReplyDeleteYour first words caught my attention because I'm going to the doctor's office today - and the first thing they do is weigh me WITH my clothes on. Sigh. This is my area where I would like to be perfect.
ReplyDeleteThis was right on with me...I struggle with the issue of striving to be lose weight to be thin like other women, keep my house clean, In case someone stops by, or to please my husband...the list goes on and on...but it is all wrong, because it is to please others here on earth, not my Heavenly Father. Thank you for the reminder that my goal is to please HIM.
ReplyDeleteLike Kendra I am a public school teacher. I am not a perfectionist from birth, but this profession is trying to turn me into one. You never get caught up and there is always more you can be doing to help the children. I find my perfectionism rearing its ugly head at the end of the day when my own personal children are wanting attention and I send them away to get one more thing done. Or I snap at them because I have given so much all day I don't have much left for my own family.
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing about this today. I struggle with perfectionism and I think where it rears its ugly head many times in my life is (and I so hate to admit this) but with how I expect my kids to act and respond to our parenting. We are trying to parent out children in a godly way and many times I need to extend more grace to them and stop and realize they are KIDS and not expect perfection from them. I so don't want them to be plagued by perfectionism like I am, so I am seeking God's help in teaching me daily (moment by moment sometimes) how to not pass on this awful characteristic of mine. Thanks for your encouraging words and I will definitely be checking out your blog each day to see what God wants to say to me through it. Thank you again!
ReplyDeletethis passage spoke dear to my heart. I tend to focus on being a good wife, not a godly wife. Endless cleaning, cooking, errands leaves me no time to love and submit to God and then my husband. But God is working in me and growing me each day. Praise him! Thanks for the giveway!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your insight on perfectionism, Rachel. One of the ways I see my struggle with this surface on a regular basis is through procrastination. I think "If I can't do it right the first time, then I might as well not even begin." I'm working to rest in Him and His gracious, abundant provision.
ReplyDeleteWow! Thank you for such powerful words. After 17 years my perfectionism rears up in the presence of my in-laws. I suppose I'm still trying to prove myself and that I'm good enough for their son. I become an entirely different person when they're coming and tear through the house trying to get it ready for their approval. They are coming in mid-October and I'm already struggling....this blog will definitely help.
ReplyDeleteI used to be very hard on my self trying to have the perfect house, perfect life, etc. It took my body breaking down and not being able to do physcial work, that I was able to humble myself with God's grace to ask for help, and to learn to let things go.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great give away. Elaine
My perfectionistic tendancies often rear their head when I am helping my 4 young daughters get dressed and ready to leave our house. Its hard for me to just let them wear what they think looks good or do their hair as they desire if I don't feel like it meets my appearance standards.
ReplyDeleteMy 8 year old even questioned me on it recently..."Mom, if God doesn't care about our outward appearance and only our hearts than why do you care if my clothes match or if my hair is combed the way you want." It was very humbling to hear her words. While there isn't wrong in having a certain standard of hygiene and care for ourself and our appearance, there is a lot of truth in her words that my concern goes farther and at the core it really stems from feeling like they are a reflection on myself and my standards and my own appearance and I wouldn't want anyone to think its less than perfect.
Ouch...yes, this is me when my focus drifts off of Jesus. It is a really easy slip, too. I will work until I am completely depleted. Just last week I fell into this, I had a family member staying with us and I ran and ran and ran taking care of everyone else's needs until the point that the day after she left, I was sick from being run down. It took me a day to just stay at home doing nothing (including a nap, gasp! something I never do) and a lot of vitamin C to recover. Why is it that we continue to do things like this to ourselves and is it so difficult just to accept grace and be who God made us to be? Not superwoman?
ReplyDeleteThankful He loves us regardless,
s
I have trouble accepting myself the way I am which takes away much of the peace from my life. If I am allowing myself to be me, I feel I am not good enough and if I am working hard to be good enough, I am not really being me. Either way, I feel discontented.
ReplyDeleteThe realization hit me about a month ago that Gods intention was never for me to be perfect but to be the best that He created me to be. My 14 year old son was diagnosed a month ago with a genetic disorder, talk about the brakes being applied to my life. How imperfect I felt that I could have given such a syndrome to this beautiful child. I have always prided myself in being the "fixer" in the family but this was beyond my control. I felt so out of control, how could this happen, why God why my son? But I listened to that still small voice that said get up, get your shoes on let's go for a walk. God reassured me that day that He does not make mistakes that there were no imperfections He only created perfection each of us unique with our own look, talents, abilities and gifts. God's perfection, not ours.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately the "world" created the illusion of being perfect. As a Christian I know there is only one perfect thing and that is Jesus. Even with that knowledge, we struggle as humans between the world and Jesus at times...being perfect is never something we will find while here on earth.
ReplyDeleteWhat a gift to me this morning this wonderful blog....giving me permission to NOT BE PERFECT...I am in the middle of a divorce after 40 years of marriage (yeah, you read that correctly, 40 YEARS)..I have discovered in this journey my only perfection is in Christ...Is this what I had dreamed would be happening in my latter years of life..NO WAY..but here I am...62 years old..and experiencing a life-changing event..and experiencing the grace and mercies of the Lord are new and fresh every morning to meet the events of each day...I am still growing in my walk after 53 years of being a Christian...and finding Him nearer and dearer than ever before...His goals and dreams for me are just as real today as they were in my 20's and 30's...I am learning truly that if we abide in Him, and He abides in us...yay!!
ReplyDeleteI am a daughter of the Most High God (warts and all!)
Thanks for blessing me today!
Donna
I just wanted to let you know that I wrote about your contest on my facebook wall, and on my blog. The blog post will also appear on my Stampin'UP! blog, and my blog at CreatingTheHive.
ReplyDeleteSo between the 4 different places, that you should give your give away lots of exposure!
Elaine Wilson
quilter16@frontier.com
My husband and I were talking about this very thong last night...much needed. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteAs a mom of five, I was paralyzed in the first years of marriage by this! Although I still struggle occasionally, God's grace is good and enables me to do one step at a time and to do my best at each step, without worrying about the overall outcome.
ReplyDeletePerfectionism rears it's head in my life when it comes to my kids. I have 3 sons, 19, 16, & 13. Instead of expecting perfectly clean rooms, perfect report cards, perfect attitudes and actions, I need to continue to develop my relationship with them and role model to them the character of Christ. I need to teach them to be young men of integrity and character who love the Lord with all their heart and because they love Him they desire to serve Him. This cannot be done by demanding them to be perfect as I am far from perfect and demanding perfectionism only causes undue stress and fights. Thanks for your words of encouragement throug your devotions!
ReplyDeleteposted the devo to my face book.
ReplyDeleteSomehow I expect perfection from myself - not others, but the standard to which I have to live and perform is echausting and unachievable. Perfect daughter, perfect employee, perfect Christian - all the while knowing that I am not and cannot live up to it so adding perfect failure. My head knows that Christ doesn't expect that, but my heart can't seem to rest in Him and His love.
ReplyDeleteMy perfection rears its ugly head in lots of ways but the one I think is most damaging is when I throw it at my children. When they didn't do their chores "perfectly," when their school work is sloppier than I would like, when their music practice is rushed... I try to tell them it's not about being "perfect" but about trying your best but inside I do want it perfect.
ReplyDeleteI am not even really here for the kindle though after seeing the giveaway it would be nice. Your post for today was exactly what I needed. Thank you so much. I have trouble with perfection when it comes to my thoughts and actions, and I tend to criticize myself too much. A lot of times I will form what I believe to be perfection instead of anything really given by God. gasweetheart211[at]netscape[dot]net
ReplyDeleteI struggle with perfectionism in several areas of my life, but the biggest is my apprearance. Mt self-image isn't nearly as bad as it was ten years ago, but it's definitely not what I would like it to be - confident in the woman that I know God sees when he looks at me.
ReplyDeleteI commented and linked to this giveway on Facebook.
ReplyDeleteMy perfectionism shows when I feel down and depressed that I don't even want to talk with anyone or see anyone around me. I try to be alone, thinking nobody would like to see me like this. That is when I start hearing the enemy's voice telling me I am not worthy or I am not a good mother... I just think I should be perfect to people so they can love me. I know this is now right and I fight it everyday, I don't want to seek people's approval just God telling me well done my daughter, I love you as you are.
ReplyDeletejust this morning I spent 45 minutes yelling at my son because he "forgot" about a project that was due today so I made him throw something together so that I wouldn't look like I dropped the ball....but I did....I'm a horrible mother. Too busy trying to make ends meet and my kids are falling through the cracks...
ReplyDeleteYour words rang true for me today - thank you for the beautiful devotional reminder of what perfect means in God's eyes. I am a perfectionist in so many areas of my life. Our life group at church has just started a new book about taking risks in obedience to God. My perfectionism definitely gets in the way in that area! I don't want to start or do anything that I don't think I will succeed at. Exactly the opposite of what God wants me to do - which is trust Him to be strong where I am weak. This is a difficult thing for me to overcome, but I am trying to be more aware and actively trust in God when I feel I fall short.
ReplyDelete"And as I pointed out in the devotion, it usually causes us to hyper-focus on our appearance and performance rather than our motives and character. God is more interested in our heart and character. Plus, it often adds emotional instability to our lives"
ReplyDeleteThis part spoke to me. It is what God has been talking to me about for while now. That character is more beautiful than physical beauty. What do woman base their value on?? Character or (what they think) is physical beauty. Because I fear in this society we can be very hard on ourselves. Thank you for this. I confirms what God has been telling me.
This is something I fight everyday, when I feel down and depressed I don't want to see anyone and I try to be alone, feeling sorry about myself. I know this is not good and I ask God to help to find peace on Him, not to compare myself with anyone else and just look at Jesus as my big example.
ReplyDeleteI never realized I was a perfectionist until I heard a Christian speaker who said procrastination is a perfectionists best friend. I realized that I would put things off or simply not do them if I thought I could not do them perfectly. I constantly strive to be aware of this. Thank you for your words as the gentle reminder I need.
ReplyDeleteLorri W.
I'm distraught after losing my last comments..... I can't begin to pin point a way that perfectionism raises its ugly head in my life. If the house is not just the way I like it, my poor husband and kids hear my mouth. They are so use to this, they get things just right before I get home. Projects........I make lists of projects to begin but because everything must be just right, I procrastinate! I can see now how perfectionism has stunted my ability to complete many tasks because of fear! That I won't measure up, fear that it won't be just right. I get mad. And yes, MAD - if I'm asked to teach a Bible Study at the last minute because I need the time to study and prepare the lesson in order to be effective. And maybe you're thinking that's not perfectionism -but I believe I go beyond what I need each time I study. And I do because I love to leave the people of God with a new perspective and enlightened & with a desire to search the Word of God for themselves. So I often go overboard with my studies. I need this discussion, I need to confront this demon in my life, so I can walk without this weight holding me down.
ReplyDelete~Lakeisha Bing
Am I a perfectionist? Actually, I go the other way. I was raised to do things: clean clothes, good behavior, good grades, etc to show others how good a parent my mother was. I guess I'm a bit of a rebel in some respects, I refuse to do things to "show" others how perfect I am.
ReplyDeleteI drive my family nuts because I demand that they be the perfect family
ReplyDeleteIn 2001 I was diagnosed with MS. The disease caused me to slow down and to sort through my daily tasks and to be happy with good enough without having to have perfection in everything I did. God has used my MS to teach me many,many lessons and this is only one. It has also prepared me to appreciate life and my family and not let my perfectionist tendencies prevent me from spending time with my husband and daughter.
ReplyDeleteAh perfectionism...procrastination is more my friend, but it's cousin perfectionism has reared it's head in my life before. Only when it comes to my children! I want everything to be perfect when it comes to them...their clothes, manners, grades...and of course it isn't! Then I remember no one is perfect, but Christ, and I let it go...until the next time they get ready to go out the door and the cycle begins again!
ReplyDeleteBOUGHT MY COPY!!! Rachel, I wanted to let you know that I just received my copy of "It's No Secret: Revealing Divine Truths Every Woman Should Know"!!!! I ordered my copy on Friday (09/24) and it was on my step Saturday - 09/25!!! YAY!!! Amazon is simply the best! Well, I don’t like waiting so I asked for Next Day Shipping That's where I ordered my copy.
ReplyDelete~Lakeisha Bing
I find myself running late for things because every hair is not in the place I think it should be or my clothes don't look exactly like I want them to. I just want to fit in somewhere.
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteI am a newly wed Christian. I find my perfectionism rearing its ugly head when it comes to cleaning our new home. At first, instead of being grateful for my husband's help, I would be critical that it wasn't done "perfectly". This attitude is a negative side effect of perfectionism. Now I have learned to be grateful, even if a few dishes don't come out spotless. It is the heart behind the action that is important. Thank you for reminding us recovering perfectionists that we can find truth and healing in God's word.
Oh shoot! Why are you picking on me, Rachel? :)
ReplyDeleteI'm the posterchild for perfectionism and I married a perfectionist as well! It's a dangerous trait to have.
One of the ickiest ways it rears it's head for me is....
When I need someone TO DO a job for me. I expect it to be excellent (the way I would do it) and when it's half done or (that's how I see it anyway) I get openly aggrevated.
I've realized that my expectations are oftentime's UNFAIRLY too high!
Then guess what?
I end up feeling guilty for busting whoever's bubble that was just trying to help me!
A KINDLE?????
OH EMM GEE!!! I WANT IT!!!!
I commented on Facebook and put the link on there too! Now to go buy the book!
ReplyDeletePerfectionism. What a familiar word it is to me!! Even as a senior in military high school my sergeants told me in my evaluations that they saw that I was a perfectionist. Now I'm in the real military, though, at one of the most difficult training schools. I wake up every day at 5 am and go to chow exactly as soon as it opens for breakfast. I feel compelled to eat my food in under fifteen minutes so I can walk to formation with plenty of time to spare. I go to class to learn another language, a monumentally hard thing for me to do, and this is the worst part for me. You see the grading scale here is this: if you miss one question on a test, you get an A-. I've gotten C-'s on the last five tests- failing grades- and have a tutor, stay for an extra hour every day, and try to study extra, but none of it helps. As a result of my obsessive studying and beating myself up every time the teachers give me that sad, pitying look and hand me another C, I haven't read my Bible other than my email devotionals in weeks and I hate that.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I read today's.
This perfectionism is not freeing me, and I get the feeling (as I often do) that God speaks to my lovely sisters who write the devotional about my heart. Thank you so much. <3 -Kelly
I made a dinner for my daughter that included only steak, potatos, gravy, brocolli, and 3 homemade apple pies, and I felt GUILTY for not making salad and rolls or bread!
ReplyDeleteMy four year old son reflects my tendencies towards perfectionism! He will immediately correct any piece of slightly inaccurate information. It was only after he began to do this, that I heard myself doing it to others, and then realized where he learned it from!
ReplyDeleteThank you Rachel for your insight! I just returned from a fabulous 4-day church leaders conference in Miami and my head is spinning with all the great biblical/spiritual encouragement and instruction I received. However, I am overwhelming myself with all the thoughts of how to accomplish it all "perfectly"! I am looking around my home trying to determine what I can start/complete "perfectly" and I am trying to figure out how I can "perfectly" complete my book that I haven't finished editing because I fear that I can't do it "perfectly" -- and so I am all but paralyzed with what to do 1st. BUT, your devo was "perfect" for today - Praise God for how he uses people we don't even know to help us see his plans for us!
ReplyDeletePerfectionism shows in my life by never getting my to-do list done because I always have too much on it. I want everything organized and perfect but with full time job, new business, youngster, 2 dogs, 1 cat, sloppy husband, it just does not get done. This was just what I needed.
ReplyDeleteI definitely find my self trying to make everything perfect (except in the area of my weight). Lately I have started realizing that I think if everything is done right people will like me. The Mary and Martha story really has spoken to me lately. I need to focus more on worshiping God and relationships than having a perfect house!
ReplyDeleteI reposted on facebook
ReplyDeleteThanks, Rachel for your devotion on being perfect. I deal with weight issues - I am not overweight, (at least I don't think so), but I've glanced at that height/weight chart in the dr. office, also, and thought I needed to keep walking and DO MORE to get rid of my poochy belly & thighs!!! Thanks for reminding me that to God, I AM PERFECT!! Praise the Lord!! God Bless!!
ReplyDeleteVery cool. I knit and crochet and sometimes have to force myself not to rip out and start over when a mistake is made. Perfectionism can keep you from accomplishing as much. As I've gotten older, I've gotten better about trying to think of way to continue working and make alterations vs ripping out.
ReplyDeletePopped over from The Hive
Sandy
Perfectionism...what a lovely word...
ReplyDeleteto be perfect.. I 've always wanted that and thought who wouldnt.While in my struggle to achieve it, I procrasinate, second guess myself to make the right decision , do the same thing over again in a better method, clean...clean, juggle full time job, church, second job, 2 kids, taking more certification exams, being pregnant..trying to do it all on my own with help from God and not asking others for help.Not sharing enough with other women in the fear of being judged and the fact that I dont really mean what I say when I am frustrated...ever been there?Critical with attention to detail and wanting to do more every day but sometimes my body doesnt give way to it and I amway exhausted before I have completed all that I set out to do...
I'm back after just posting your give away on FaceBook
ReplyDeleteGood luck to all who enter
sandy
by the way your visual verification thingy isn't working very well, took me 3 tries on the first post
I'm back after just posting your give away on FaceBook
ReplyDeleteGood luck to all who enter
sandy
by the way your visual verification thingy isn't working very well, took me 3 tries on the first post
My husband is not a neat freak by any stretch of the imagination but I am. Working three jobs and being very active in our Church does not leave a lot of time for cleaning. I have been known to get up after he's asleep so I can clean the hosue without him fussing at me for not resting.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your devotional and book.
Sue
Oh Rachel,
ReplyDeleteThis is just what I needed to hear this morning! I have always had perfectionistic tendencies, but always, always fall short. I berate myself constantly for procrastinating on something because I want to be able to do it perfectly, and I always swear I am a neat freak trapped in a slob's body. I can never seem to measure up.
Thank you for the reminder that we are "allowed to be a work-in-progress," and that God doesn't care about clean houses and perfect families, but wants us to focus on much deeper things.
Thank you thank you thank you!
Heather
You've not also been Twitted about
ReplyDeleteSandy
I can tell you my need to be perfect in all things is why I am doing a series of Having a Mary Spirit Bible Studies. It seems I had evolved into the "I can't ever look good enough, do enough, be enough" rut that so many women get into. It was not one specific thing, but in every aspect of my life. I'm learning to accept that a few dust bunnies is ok, and I'm learning that God defines me, I don't... Blessings!
ReplyDeleteEmily
I am trying to overcome my need for perfection. I don't have family or friends over because my house is not just the way I want it. We have lived here for 5 years and all I can see is the we need to do this list instead of being thankful for all that I have.
ReplyDeletePerfectionism...let me see. I think the area that I struggle with this the most is with my weight issues. God is leading me to trust Him and give myself totally to Him in this area of my life, but not being perfect gets to me. I want to be perfect. I know God does not expect this of me. I am a work in progress.
ReplyDeleteI am a recovering perfectionist - or at least I like to think of myself as recovering. There are still days it rears its ugly head. Somehow I have managed to overcome it in my home/personal life but still struggle with it in my professional life as an educator. As a result I end up working 10+ hour days and cutting into my personal time. I wish I could learn to be content doing a 'good' job and stop striving for doing a 'perfect' job.
ReplyDeleteGreat message! I am so guilty of trying to be a perfectionist at SO many things that of course I fail and then things just feel downhill from there. I try to be the perfect mom, the perfect wife, the perfect worker, and in trying to lose weight. I have to look at who I am in Christ! Thank you so much for your message this morning. I look forward to this weeks messages as well. Have a blessed day! Oh - I do not have an e-reader and would LOVE one!!! I LOVE to read!
ReplyDeleteJust shared it with a fellow teacher with whom I had a conversation on Friday about our struggle with perfectionism.
ReplyDeleteI left a message on my facebook about your blog! : )
ReplyDeleteMy perfectionism shows up when keep the house clean. I have to remind myself to stop and let it go so that I don't miss out on things with my family.
ReplyDeleteI have shared your post on FB.
ReplyDeleteI am very aware that the head of the monster is approaching when I start feeling overwhelmed because I want my young daughters to look clean and neat to go to school. It's as if a wrinkled shirt would make one think we are not responsible or caring at home. The funny thing is that the days I struggle with it I keep telling myself it's no big deal and pray to have those ideas and feelings removed. But it continues to nag me. Aaagh!
ReplyDeleteThank you for defining what "perfect" really means in this verse! I will hide this truth in my heart for the times I get discouraged when, yet again, I do not feel that I have lived up to the expectations I have set for myself. What an encouraging message!
ReplyDeleteAlice
My perfectionist issues are wearing me out! I should have gotten a college education so instead of being grateful that I have a great job, I could be getting paid to do something I enjoy (lie from the Devil). It shows in all the MANY "Projects" I have started and quit thinking no one noticed or told me I was good at this so I'm going to just quit (another lie from the Devil). I have got to stop living my life everyday seeking the praise of other people. Thanks for this reminder!!!
ReplyDeletePerfectionism, for me, describes a person who can never live up to their expectations of living, because the expectation is based on a fantasy. It describes the person I used to be on all fronts. My life was always compared to some notation of perfection based on someone else's reality, not God's grace. I'm so glad that I reached a point that I realized that God's grace is sufficient. I still struggle in areas, but I am content to be in the process of taking on the image of Christ.
ReplyDeleteTerry
I bought 4 of your books to share with my girlfriends -- hopefully we will all go through it together as a small group... we'll leave an empty chair in the room for you!
ReplyDeleteI know one thing, perfectionism S~T~I~N~K~S! It makes me unhappy and miserable. I'm really personally not a perfectionists but I "REALLY" want to be one. I can't do anything right, so it seems most of the time. Whether I try to please others, or accomplish a personal goal, it seems to backfire in my face all the time and really disturbs me.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby/family expects me to be a perfectionists, but yet he can't seem to finish jobs or do anything unless it's perfectly done either. It makes life so much harder to live with this problem, it's be perfect or want someone else be perfect. I struggle everyday with this stuff. I know there is only one perfect person and that was Jesus and I thank God he forgives me for my daily sins. Because I'm not perfect, will never be perfect apparently. I've learned to just accept this and go with it. Take one step and one job at a time and hope I get it done good enough. Ultimately I have one person to really please and that is God, then family and friends!
Perfection-rejection. We pass over a juicy, ripe peach, just because it has a little blemish-it isn't perfect. WE toss ourselves in the seconds, slightly imperfect bin, because that 's what we are-not good enough to be bought at full price. Oh the lies. We were all bought at the same price-the blood of Jesus. Oh, how I wish I could banish the concept, the word "perfect" and replace it with excellence. Thanks for the post. I am working on this very issue. I was reading about your experience at the DR. office-oops that's me. I chuckle at the notion that we go to the Dr. office-not to find out what may be wrong-but to be told we are "perfect." and our fear-and sense of reality is that we aren't.
ReplyDeleteI definitely am a perfectionsist with my house (when I know someone is coming or MIGHT stop by!). Then I really get to enjoy a nice clean house, until next time...
ReplyDeleteI work in the fitness industry and I am constantly comparing myself to those around me. I feel as though there is a certain expectation on how I should look in order to work here. But i have to remind myself that it is not what I look like on the outside but what I look like on the inside that matters. That I need to have a daily 'spiritual workout' before I jump on the first machine. God does call us to keep our physical bodies healthy but He is much more concerned about our spirtual bodies first.
ReplyDeleteRe-tweeting, and linking it on facebook. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI definitely struggle with keeping a perfectly clean house. It takes me a very long time just to clean one room because I'm such a perfectionist. Problem is, while I'm taking hours cleaning one room, the rest of the house gets really messy with five children. I find this to be very frustrating and most of the time I feel like I'm loosing the battle to keep my house clean.
ReplyDeleteI found you while reading my daily devotions from oneplace.com Encouragement for Today. You always seem to know how to talk directly to me, as if I was the one you sent that devotion to. I looked your name up online, found your book "It's no Secret", and asked 5 of my friends if they would like to start a Bible study and use this book to get it started. I ordered from BarnesandNoble.com and hopefully Friday morning we will have our books and we will get started! The gals were all very excited to try it!!! Thank you for your talent and your Godly guidance. You have a true gift for reaching real women!
ReplyDeleteOne way.....
ReplyDeleteI'm sure I'm not alone in this one. I don't have people over because my house is just not clean enough, I don't have the energy to work on those piles of "stuff", my kitchen is soooo outdated and ugly, someone may see a spider I missed when I cleaned....the list goes on.
I recently experienced a job loss, a job that I poured myself into sometimes at the expence of time for me or my family. I questioned a lot about my worth during this time.....maybe I didn't know what I was doing and I was the only one who didn't know it. I wasn't good enough...
Yesterday our pastor challenged us in priorities and seeking God with our first fruits. This devotional spoke to that as well.
Thanks for pushing me towards honoring God through seeing Him with my whole heart, finding worth in who I am because of who He is and what He has already done for me!
I had to laugh when I saw that you posted this at 12:15 a.m. As a mom and wife that struggles with perfectionism I've gotten up many times to do something that I remembered at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., etc. just so I wouldn't forget...write a note to a teacher, write out a check for a fieldtrip permission slip, etc. Trying to "do it right all the time" is exhausting and what exactly are we modeling for our kids....looking forward to your blogs this week!!!!
ReplyDeleteRae Jean
drjarmstrong@usfamily.net
I don't feel like I measure up with my parents. I'll call to tell them an exciting event in my life and they will immediately tell me of a similar event or better in the lives of my three younger sisters. I know that God cares, so I call him more often!!
ReplyDeleteI saw myself in this devotional, as well as many of my friends - who I sent it to! I went to amazon & bought the book as well, as I desperately need some help with my spiritual journey.
ReplyDeleteI posted to my FB.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=185109124
I'm on my way to Borders to pick this up.....looks very promising!
ReplyDeleteBeth (A Mom's Life)- you took the words right out of my mouth! I too find myself doing that same exact thing. I struggle daily with self image perfectionism. I am not the way I used to be (physically) and I really struggle with that. The one thing that helps me is that I am more mature spiritually and have a closer relationship with God and I would not give that back for anything (not even to be physically "happy"). That has really helped me when I get in my "poor me" mode. I think that I could be like I was before...physically "happy", but spiritually lost and sad. Of course my goal is to eventually be both, but I am content (for the most part) with that. I thank God when he reminds me of that. Oh - and I am not intentionally anonymous, but I don't have any of the account types to publish my name - Amy
ReplyDeleteI can never rest. The moment that I set down I feel the driving need to get something else done. I have a difficult time relaxing in my own home cos there is always something to get done. I am learning to ask myself what would happen if I didn't "get it done" and am learning to let some thing GO. This is part of my perfectionism that I am seeing
ReplyDeleteI struggle with wanting other people to think I have it all together. Wanting to be "perfect" in the eyes of others means I miss out on having deep, strong relationships - I must be willing to share my struggles, to be vulnerable, to be REAL in order to be a good friend (and have them)!
ReplyDeleteIn the past if I fell off the "band wagon" and ate one thing I wasn't supposed to eat I would give up. I would find myself "gorging" unhealthy foods and feeling worse about myself rather than better. My perfectionism said it is all or nothing. My humanism would have praised my effort so far and encouraged me to get on the right track again.
ReplyDeleteI've been a perfectionist since I was a child and it had hindered me ever since. It seems to rear its ugly head at work. I often have reports due and if I can't get my wording just right, then I'm often hesistant to turn my work in. And usually it's at the last minute, which in turn makes me nervous about the feedback I will get. It's so exhausting. Pray for me please.
ReplyDeleteMimi
myrlanded@gmail.com
Perfectionism--it truly does define me in most ways. I don't think I overdo it, but I do want things to be done correctly if I do it. I'm a proofreader, so anything that I send out, I want mistake free! But it doesn't always happen that way--and boy does that keep me humble! :)
ReplyDeletePrayers and blessings from the one who REALLY would like a Kindle! :)
Rebecca
Perfectionism for me raises its ugly head to keep me FROM doing things - why start trying to eat healthily or exercise when I know I won't do it every day and do it exactly right, why try to clean the house when I know I don't have enough time to do a perfect job, etc., and then because I don't do these things, I feel bad and start the cycle all over again.
ReplyDeleteBeth (A Mom's Life)- you took the words right out of my mouth! I too find myself doing that same exact thing. I struggle daily with self image perfectionism. I am not the way I used to be (physically) and I really struggle with that. The one thing that helps me is that I am more mature spiritually and have a closer relationship with God and I would not give that back for anything (not even to be physically "happy"). That has really helped me when I get in my "poor me" mode. I think that I could be like I was before...physically "happy", but spiritually lost and sad. Of course my goal is to eventually be both, but I am content (for the most part) with that. I thank God when he reminds me of that. Oh - and I am not intentionally anonymous, but I don't have any of the account types to publish my name - Amy
ReplyDeleteI posted again - I figured it out (good thing I'm not a technical perfectionist! LOL)
I have a problem with perfectionism in that if I can't do a job completely right or have the time to do something a certain way, I won't do it at all. That causes a problem for me, because then I have a lot of things that need to get done. I have been working on this problem for the past year but it's difficult to break the habit.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I were just talking about this last night. How timely. I think maybe God wants my attention. Mainly for me, perfectionism keeps me from being content. I'm never happy with the result of my efforts which leads to almost constant frustration. I know that it is not God's desire for me to live that way. After all, He says through Paul that I should be content in any and every situation and here am I content in none. Thank you for today's devotion. I look forward to reading your blog this week.
ReplyDeleteShared this on my facebook :)
ReplyDeleteI reposted on my blog, Wild and Crazy Sheep. Thanks for such a thought-provoking devotional!
ReplyDeleteoh how I needed to hear this. I am very conscious lately of those extra pounds that don't seem to come off even though I am walking, exercising and gave up ice cream for goodness sake. I see someone who is no longer the skinny of my 20's and who never had to worry until after twins, being over 40, etc. I still can hear me saying this is not enough all you are doing. I am thankful for this devotion cause I felt as if God was speaking to me. He sees me as his beautiful daughter.
ReplyDeletethanks Rachel
Thanks. Helps me to bring the true things into focus. Love your line...To graciously give and receive love.
ReplyDeleteWhat a mantra to live by. Gonna write it up and post it on my fridge.
OK, Rachel....I gave you a shout out on my blog!
ReplyDeleteI would love a Kindle....but will be pleased as punch for anyone who wins =)
Great devotion today, Rachel.
ReplyDeleteI do struggle with bouts of perfectionism, especially in parenting. I feel that I need to control every aspect of my son's environment to create the best possible life for him. I feel that if I screw up, it will have an even more profound and lasting effect on him. That kind of perfectionism causes worry and fear in my choices. Then those choices aren't easily made. And, while I think it's good to consider one's choices carefully, standing there weighing whether or not I should give my son a piece of banana or a piece of kiwi as the next finger food is not something I need to spend that much time on.
I'm thankful for God's grace and His power in us to make us perfect in His timing. I love that the Greek word for perfect (as you described in your devotion) includes the definition of "developing." Life is a process of becoming more and more like Christ, a goal which cannot be reached until the glorious moment God will reveal. But what a great process to be a part of and journey to take!
Thank you again for the post.
I have tweeted about this giveaway and your post! (I'm @Keep_Tha_Faith on Twitter.)
ReplyDeleteThanks for these opportunities!
I struggle with self perfection daily. I suffer in ways different from outward apperiences. I am a self-destructive product of my parents ugly divorce. even thoughit ws 30 years ago the verbal thrashings and complete rejection of my parents run wildly in my self talk consistantly. it effects my marriage, my mothering skills and even my relationships with friends and especially family. I still speak to my parents but keep them at a distance since they are still severely critical of my every move and parental choice. I am working daily to concour this area of my life. I knkow through prayer and GOD's mercy and abounding grace I will heal this distrucive barrier. thank you for your blog.
ReplyDeleteAshley E. Corinth, KY
I typed up a quote and framed it complete with page reference forgetting to add what book it came out of :D But wanted to share:
ReplyDelete"Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead. It is a loop -- an obsessive, debilitating system that causes you to get stuck in details and lose sight of the whole."
This is me all the time. I don't start cleaning the house because I can't clean it all the way it needs to be. I don't write or redo my blog because I'm afraid it won't be right or perfect.
So when I read what you wrote, I feel like you've got a hidden camera in my house! I need to get your book for sure :)
Hi Rachel,
ReplyDeleteYou hit the nail on the head with this devotional. I am definitely a perfectionist. I always want to think I've conquered perfectionism, but then find myself obsessing or apologizing to cover for my perceived lack! Which, by the way, I'm really good at, since I've been practicing it for my lifetime. Thank you for reminding me that "perfection" is man's word, "complete" is God's - and He alone expects to do the completing! My day is already looking quite differently because of your wise words and reminders. From one perfectionist to the other, thank you for taking the time and effort to pass along the words God gave you for me, and not hesitating because they might not be "perfect", but being obedient and allowing God to do the speaking. It has changed me!
I also bought your book a few weeks ago at a Family Christian Bookstore.
ReplyDeleteThanks again for all of these opportunities on this giveaway! I know whoever wins will be blessed. I'm blessed just by reading your blog each week!
I find myself creating expectations not only for myself but those in my family. Often the expectation is uncommunicated and if we should fall short the disappointment and frustration is all the greater. I realize this impacts my children and spouse unfairly. I typically recognize and then have to apologize for my unreasonable behavior while asking for their forgiveness. This is how perfectionism has affected me most negatively as it hurts the ones I love.
ReplyDelete1) Perfectionism tries to rear its ugly head in the way I try to "plan" my life. I did plan my life, for years, and it conveniently happened exactly the way I wanted it to, until I had a miscarriage. I realized then that I was NOT in control of my life, and the perfect plan I needed to have for my life wasn't in my hands!
ReplyDeleteI try to appear perfect on the outside for example, a perfectly clean house when people come over or fixed hair and makeup when meeting someone new, even though I'm pretty much a pony tail/ no makeup person. I have a lot of ideas that sound great, but the follow through doesn't seem to happen unless it's for someone else! Need to work on focusing on what's eternal and not the physical that other people see.
ReplyDeleteWell, perfectionism for me comes in with parenting. I research EVERYTHING. I fear putting my kids in their crib because I think they will suffocate. Fear leaving them with babysitters. Major control issues. Don't want to "mess up." But I do hand this over to God, realizing that I don't trust Him enough and I want to.
ReplyDeleteI will link to this on my Facebook, my dear!
And I will buy the book from Amazon tomorrow!
Perfectionism raises it's ugly head in all the little things that need to be done. I can spend too much time perfecting an email, trying to teach my daughter something, dreaming up the "perfect" way to spend the day with my family. Only disappointment sets in when the day does not go the way I planned,the email didn't generate the expected response or my daughter just doesn't get the concept. I recognized my perfectionist tendencies a few years ago and vow every day not to let it drive me crazy. However, it is a daily struggle.
ReplyDeleteMy perfectionism began early in my life because I didn't have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, but rather a legalist one. My mother's comments to me typically ended in "...but". "You look so pretty, but..." "You did well on that, but...." I came to realize that nothing I was or did was ever quite good enough, so as I put it now, I graduated suma cum laud from the school of "more is better". This developed into a full blown eating disorder at the age of 18, which peaked at age 26, when my oldest daughter was 2. I was admitted for treatment, which saved my physical life, yet I still wasn't walking hand-in-hand with Jesus. Fast forward to the present (I'm now 51), while I still struggle with feelings of inadequacy, I began a personal relationship with Jesus Christ 13 years ago and when those feelings arise, I take them to my LORD rather than to self or others. Without my Saviour's love, I know my perfectionism would have destroyed me and those I love. Praise the LORD.
ReplyDeletePerfectionism seems to be something I grw up into, especially being a first born, I had to be an example to all, be perfect. It has also lead me to want to be so perfect in the eyes of God, so much so that I forget that he is God and I am not. I feel like I should have a handle on my problems, and not worry God about them, and I behave like I need to be perfect for God to love me! Perfectionism has affected the way I percieve myself and how I feel I need to be perfect before I date anyone! Thank you for ur blog, I'm grateful
ReplyDeleteI commented on your blog and I posted your blog on my facebook for two entries to win the Kindle 3 e-reader! Pam
ReplyDeleteGod has definitely been dealing with me and generosity for quite a long time. He very clearly guides me to give to people in need... and I do, but I always seem to tell someone what I did. I always feel selfish and glory-seeking when I tell. The Lord recently placed someone on my heart and Very Clearly led me to keep my deed silent. What a blessing!
ReplyDeleteRachel, your sweet spirit and wise words speak to me always. Celia
As if it isn't bad enough that I can make myself miserable by comparing myself to others, I do this with my wonderful husband and kids. I've told them that they are a reflection of me to people. I now realize that they are to be a reflection of Jesus, it's not about how good mom looks, but that others see Jesus in us.
ReplyDeleteI, too, struggle with perfectionism. When I try to combat it, I get stuck because some of my perfectinism is the result of my trying to combat other character weaknesses...selfishness, procrastination, and insensitivity. So my pendulum swings from one extreme to the other. My challenge is to lay all of this at the foot of the cross and be at peace...with my pendulum gently at rest.
ReplyDeleteWhen I ask my teenage daughter to do some chore & then I go over it myself, which is like telling her what she did is not good enough. I need to just let that go & thank her for completing the task.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Debbie
Duran @ spiritdesigns@msn.com
Thanks for the devotional. I think the hardest thing for me is comparing where I'm at in Christ to others...so often I wish I had more faith or more joy but I have to remember that God is the one working these things out in me. Like the devotion reminded me...I'm a work in progress and I'm so glad God's grace and mercy cover me. I need to stop being so hard on myself and just praise God for the work He is doing in me right here and right now.
ReplyDeleteOh my, Rachel, where do I begin? The list is long but the area I struggle most is comparing myself with others. Your post reminded me of a list of "goals" I made for myself at the beginning of the year. One "being more concerned with God's opinion of me rather than others' opinions of me". I began combating this issue by writing down every day a scripture that pertained to what God thinks of me - I am his workmanship (Eph 2:10), I am more than a conqueror (Rom 8:37), I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), etc.- scriptures like that. I started off well, but somewhere along the way I stopped doing that and I find myself slipping back into the old habit of worrying about what others think.
ReplyDeleteI do sometimes set unrealistic goals for myself and then beat myself up when I can't seem to "measure up". Instead of seeing what I have accomplished, I instead see what I have failed to accomplish. Why do I do that?
"Perfectionism causes us to hyper-focus on our appearance and performance rather than our motives and character" - this so convicted my heart. I can see this being so true in my life.
Thanks for the prompting to get back in the habit of searching out those scriptures and working towards the goal of seeing myself through His eyes.
This was so made for me. I have that very doctor's appointment this morning. Just to show you how
ReplyDeleteunrealistic I am, I thought I must
go out and get a manicure and maybe a pedicure (mind you I don't get these regularly, like never) because I have been painting and working all week in the garden. I just feel so frumpy that I didn't want to be seen by my doctor that way. Thank you so much for this lesson. I will just
give this perfectionism up for today, as it might take a bit longer for all of it. I will try
to look upward and simply be the woman God wants me to be on the inside.
thanks so much for offering a chance to win a Kindle. That is so
generous of you, and I do hope this will count as an entry. I am
going out to buy your book right now!
I try to have the perfect marriage by trying to make my husband and son be perfect while failing to realize I should be more concerned with my own "perfection". If I really look at them, they are already the perfect God given family for me. I should be thanking and praising God for them, not whining. I need to be on my knees praying for God to perfect me!
ReplyDelete2) Facebook! I also forwarded it to my Sunday School group from church.
ReplyDeleteRachel,
ReplyDeleteJust emailed my ten, women members in my neighborhood fellowship group your message from Proverbs this morning. We all needed to read this!
Chance #2 for the Kindle!!!
I find that my drive for perfectionism, which we know cannot be found, is what causes the stress or tips the scales from good day to bad for my family.
ReplyDeleteAmy F
My perfection rears its ugly head when I expect my children to be perfect and act older than they are.
ReplyDeleteI so needed to read this today. That verse has always baffled me & left me frustrated.
Perfection has been something I've never thought possible to attain: I was born with different length musculature on my neck which makes my head look tilted no matter how hard I try to hold it straight; ears that are easily 2 inches different in length making earrings always look lopsided; and teeth that have been crumbling since they sprouted. Perfection never entered my mind-I was a jumbled up mess from day one...and it's that mess which propelled me to overcompensate for my physicality by doing well at school, being a good wife and mother, being a wonderful friend that never said no to a request, a servant for my God that also never said no to filling a need at my church. Again, a jumbled mess.
ReplyDeleteOnce I realized that my life, like my physical body, would never be perfect, and I embraced the grace and love of the ONE who is perfect, the only ONE who can ever be perfect, and began to understand that HE loves me, jumbled mess that I am, and wants me to strive after HIM, not perfection, well, this jumbled mess became a child of the Most Holy God. And that is as close to perfection as I need ever be-the child of my Perfect Father God.
Anna
anna.pamprdchef@gmail.com
I can get everything planned and perfected in my mind, but the struggle is I am not capable of carrying out what I plan. This has been a struggle for me most of my life, but I have come to realize that I am not SUPERWOMAN and I don't have to be. It would be wonderful to be fully organized, beautiful, smart, a great cook, decorator..but.. I am not these things and need to worry about who I am in Christ rather than what I am to the world! But somedays those perfectionist thoughts rear their ugly head and I have to claim the truth again.
ReplyDeleteI strive to perfection in so many areas of my life for years, wanted just so much to be love, thought that I had to be perfect in everything I did...thought love was based on performance & looks. Then hit head on by a drunk driver, my whole life changed in an instant, couldn't be that way anymore, just trying to survive the day was a challenge...then I went to far the other way...wasn't the same person anymore, didn't know who I was anymore, couldn't function, to depressed to think...didn't believe that anyone would love me this way.
ReplyDeleteBut am so thankful that Gods Love is unconditional that He loves me for me, learning slowing about this kind of LOVE & to see myself through it...trying to find a balance, not saying it is going to be an easy journey (organizing my house so that it is functional & that it is a home again) But learning to rest & trust in Love (Christ) and knowing that no matter where I'm at, He is there with me, will make all the difference.
My new motto in life is now:
LOVE people where they are at & let God do the changing, and it will last forever :)
Thanks so much for the devotion today. Specifically, I try to get my house in a certain order and clean in a certain way and if it isn't I feel guilty b/c everything isn't well...perfect. I also have tended to feel bad about my body lately and really your devo. helped a lot. yes, I need to try and be as healthy as possible but Jesus is way more concerned about me spiritually. I am an avid reader and would love a kindle:)
ReplyDeleteI am now 65 years old and recently found my diary from 8th grade....striving for perfection...trying to get organized. I've come to realize that it IS a 'continuing' goal. It is reassuring to know I am not alone and Jesus loves me no matter what. Thank you for your message.
ReplyDeleteI am almost 50, and I still struggle with perfectionistic tendencies at times, but it was especially difficult when I had young children at home. I believed wrongly that my home, my kids, myself all had to be perfect(at least look like it) before I could even think of inviting someone over. Of course, that seldom happened. Occasionally, someone would stop by unannounced, and I would cringe inside, but be gracious on the outside. Afterwards, though, I would berate myself. Finally, I gave up trying to be perfect, but I would still beat myself up because I couldn't "do it all" like others seemingly could. (I called myself a "frustrated perfectionist".)It has been a long road, but the Lord has shown me many times that I can't be and don't have to be perfect to please Him. I have a heart for young moms who struggle with this today. First and foremost, work on your personal walk with the Lord and allow Him to make you into what HE wants you to be. Judge yourself by the mirror of His perfect Word, not anything or anyone else.
ReplyDeleteA big thing that helped me is just other women being open and honest about their struggles. We think everyone else doesn't struggle, but everyone does in some way. It is a lie from satan that we are the "only" one struggling. Don't listen to it.
3) Amazon.com!!! (love that site)
ReplyDeleteHello again:) I am heading over to FB to write about this give away for my second entry!
ReplyDeleteI sent this devotion on to my Sunday school class!
ReplyDeleteThis devotional really hit home with me today. I'm always stressing about keeping my house clean and clutter free. My husband gets the short end of the stick when I take it out on him. We both live busy lives and with kiddos, it's almost impossible. I pray that God will give me the strength to not stress over the little things and enjoy what I have while I have it. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteReading the devotional,and some of the other posts I realized I was perfectist. I always thought I was being a good wife and mother! It was a marvelous release of a lifetime of trying to do all the right things at the right time.
ReplyDeleteI loved the part about the Greek meaning of the word "perfect"; I really could identify with the word "developing".
I always enjoy your devotional so much!
Attaining the title of "laundry nazi" might just indicate my ability to remove stains and have all the laundry looking as if it just came off the store rack. Maybe just a tad unrealistic if you are the mother of seven kids but it doesn't keep me from trying. I just hate it when I can't get the cleaning cloths perfectly white. . . Oh, as to cleaning, I just love it when my house looks like one of those model homes and get very anxious when no one else in the family cares how any part of the house looks. Is it possible there is a bit of perfectionism in me?
ReplyDeleteI have to fight myself constantly on the issue of perfectionism. I expect it from myself and also from those around me, which often leads to disappointment and feelings inadequacy. At those moments when I feel defeated because I haven't measured up to my own standards, I try to keep in perspective "the big picture". In other words, I say to myself, "will this really matter in the end?" or "is this a heaven/hell issue?". If not, it is easier to let go and move on with imperfection, knowing someday I WILL be made perfect.
ReplyDeleteThank you for talking about perfectionism. I have been a perfectionist all my life, and little by little I am trying to let go of some of my perfectionistic qualities, such as a perfectly clean house, perfectly-styled hair, and flawless work. I am also trying to remember that my husband is not perfect, either, and I should not try to make him that way!
ReplyDeleteIf I focus too much on being "perfect," it takes my eyes off the more important things in life, such as building a stronger relationship with my husband and trying to be more like Christ. God is much more concerned with my character development than He is with how perfectly I can perform a task.
This was very good and timely. I suffer from several chronic illnesses. These have changed my perspective greatly over the years that I have had them. I still suffer from perfectionism though, especially where my house is concerned. I feel so guilty that I cannot take care of it the way that I should.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to reading your blog for the rest of the week to learn more. Thank you!
Carrie Crews
ccrews2003@sbcglobal.net
I tend not to think of myself as a perfectionist as far as neatness and order etc... But lately I have been convicted of my ugly need to always be right. My 15 year old enjoys the times he thinks he is right and we are not. I find my skin attempting to justify myself over the most insignificant things when I'm called out in error. LORD help me! I am to be an example to my son and others and I am trying to have the last word. I have memorized Psalms 19:14. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart my pleasing in your sight, Oh Lord my rock and my redeemer. It's a daily struggle to die to self.
ReplyDeleteI am a perfectionist to the core- so reading that other women struggle with some of the same issues was very reassuring! I struggle with not being thin enough, after three kids, not saying the 'right' things, not being a good enough Christian even! But the biggest thing was something I never understood while growing up with my mom. My mom was always physically stressed about our house not being clean enough and if someone or someones were coming over- watch out! The cleaning went to a whole new level. I used to tell my mom "People aren't coming over to inspect the house, they're coming over to visit with us". I truly didn't understand. And yet, I now find myself in the exact same position. I know that life is short and we are not measured by how much or little we dust, people don't think poorly of us if we haven't done the dishes and yet, if my house is what I consider a mess, I feel a sense of failure. Why I can't retrieve the common sense I had as a kid is still a struggle for me. Hopefully it's something I can overcome, with God's help!
ReplyDeleteMy perfectionism is always gettingi the best of me when it comes to my college coursework. I am only satisfied with A's and often when I get them, I decide to take all the glory, even though I know only God can get me through everything, and that he gave me my talent for academic persuits.
ReplyDeleteAh yes...perfection. I thought the perfect example of being a good mom would be having perfect kids. I have four kids...none of which are perfect. I tend to blame myself for their imperfections--disease, poor choices, legal issues. Then I have to remember that my heavenly Father is perfect,but I am not...therefore how can I expect my children to be?
ReplyDeleteIt's ME again! Shared this with my bible study group.
ReplyDeleteI am always beating myself up for not being the ideal weight, having the cleanest, most organized house, being a better cook, wife and mother. So this devotion today was a huge help and did minister to my heart. Thank you for opening your heart and sharing your foibles with us. It's good to know we're not alone.
ReplyDeleteI appreciated your devotional. I am certainly not a perfectionist in my housekeeping or appearance - but I do expect a lot from my 4-year old, and feel he reflects on me and my parenting skills. I did well in school, and take (too much) pride in my son's intelligence - speaking and reading from an early age, etc. I don't want him to grow up with the pressure of having to get straight A's, or thinking that my approval depends on his performance. Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDeleteI've compared myself to others all of my life and now I find myself doing it with my kids and everyone else's kids. I make a concerted effort not to say anything to my kids, but I get so frustrated with myself for not being ok with who I am and who my kids are. I pray about this a lot...perfectionism is a real problem, thank you for helping us confront it.
ReplyDeleteAs a working mom of 3, I struggle with what a mom should be. My own mother didn't work while we were young and so I have this ideal of baking cookies and perfect dinners and helping at the school. When it doesn't all fit in, I left feeling like a failure.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your devtion and blog. I just shared it with my prayer group from work.
ReplyDeleteNow that I am a stay at home mom I find myself trying to be more perfect. Because I feel like I don't have a career I need to validate myself by making the perfect dinner, perfectly cleaning the house, perfect children etc. I keep taking on more and more things until my head spins and I don't even have time to breath. I realize this is unrealistic and have to tell myself it's alright that I can't do it all right now.
ReplyDeleteThe most egregious way perfectionism shows right now is that I worry more about keeping my house clean for visitors than playing with my kids. I trade precious time with them for clean counters.
ReplyDeletegrowingababyreviews at hotmail dot com
My habit of procastination battles my desire for perfectionism. Postponing tasks, e.g. cleaning, means things pile up (literally) and then when I do begin to go through the clutter of mail, clothes, dust, my goal for perfectionism can't be accomplished. Guilt and frustration result. Your article and blog were very helpful in understanding God's purpose and way of being perfect...developing His character, His love and serving others. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteSo I posted a Facebook comment from my iPhone about this wonderful topic and your great give-away. But I mistakenly posted it as a comment to someone elses topic. And now I have no clue where that post went. I am cracking up - I wanted to apoligize to that person but I can't find that comment or post - LOL, so I've re-posted it in my Facebook status. SORRY - LOL funny moment.
ReplyDelete~Lakeisha Bing
Shared with all my FB friends!
ReplyDeleteI've often been called a perfectionist, which is usually received as a compliment. I earned excellent grades in school and have always done 'well' with my life. Now, I'm working one full-time job, one part-time, and volunteering at a third through my church. Even with all of this, I still want my life to be perfect! I want my house cleaned every week, a fresh, hot meal for dinner, and the dishes neatly put away before bed. I'm quickly learning this is all impossible, but I struggle to let go and say 'it's ok'. Thanks for the reminder that God doesn't care about dust bunnies or when the last time the carpet was vaccumed, or who prepared the food on the table. I'm excited to read what else you have to say on this challenging topic!
ReplyDeletePerfectionism rears its ugly self when I try to compare myself to others whose lives "seem" perfect rather than seek what God has planned for me!
ReplyDeleteToday I really needed to hear this. Every day I really need to hear this. My quiet time this morning was disrupted by thoughts of all the things i need to do, and so many of them I measure by what I think others would think. God's grace is enough, it is more than enough, and i need to remember this!
ReplyDeleteToday I really needed to hear this. Every day I really need to hear this. My quiet time this morning was disrupted by thoughts of all the things i need to do, and so many of them I measure by what I think others would think. God's grace is enough, it is more than enough, and i need to remember this!
ReplyDeleteI think the worst outcome of being a perfectionist (and I could list a dozen ways in which I have manifested that in my life) is what it does to relationships.
ReplyDelete-- I have passed those tendencies on to my children (may God help them!)
-- I have often alienated my own husband because he felt like he could never measure up to what I wanted. (May God forgive me!)
-- I have kept girlfriends at arm's-length instead of close to my breast because I didn't want them to see how flawed I am. (That is totally my loss!)
I have, over the years, learned to chill - but I can think of a situation last night in which perfectionism in me raised its ugly head. I confess it as pride and repent (again).
Finally, I am deeply grateful for the grace of God that I accept from Him, and am learning, in turn, to give to others.
Perfectionism is tricky, and while I have made progress, it is something against which I must remain on guard. It can manifest itself in many ways, one being paralysis. Sometimes it happens when I have been working so hard to attain the unattainable, do everything just so until in that frenzied, frazzled state I just collapse. Other times, it crushes the life out of me before I start, and I am defeated before I begin--the unrealistic expectations tower around in threatening shadows, suffocating me until I cannot even start and the lashes of self-condemnation land for the failure and I am paralyzed.
ReplyDeleteProcrastination is a big problem with me that I attribute to perfectionism. I put off many projects because I don't have time to do them "perfectly," like many perfectionists. But when I procrastinate on dealing with a relationship issue--husband, children, friend, co-worker--those issues are almost never improved by my putting things off.
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize so many of my character faults until I had children (they were there - I was just oblivious). All the things that I was able to "keep up" (standard of cleanliness/orderliness/preparedness etc) while single/childless are things that I can't even accomplish on the best of days now. I was on track for a professional career and now I find myself a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom with very little clue of how to efficiently and gracefully run a household. When I am around other mothers in our homeschool group - many much younger than me and much more "natural"-seeming mothers, I feel an immense sense of guilt, imperfection and selfishness as I mentally compare myself to them. They seem so much more spiritually mature while I am floundering around in some contrived mental mud pit. I seem to pull things together for maybe a day and then it all falls apart the next. Having a well-meaning and generally supportive husband and mother who offer their "advice" or point out downfalls in our parenting techniques only lends itself to a perpetual sense of failure to live up to the long (and growing) list of expectations.
ReplyDeleteI just read your devotional on P31 and have now subcribed to your blog anxiously awaiting the rest of your series on perfectionism. There is not an area of my life I dont struggle with this in. not one!!
ReplyDeleteI have struggled with this all of my life. God blessed us with 3 daughters in less than four years which put my perectionism in crisis. He has done a work in me to learn to let go of the things that won't be there to come back to do like "today" with my girls. I still fall back into this when other areas of my life seem to be out of control, so I've realized that in some ways it's actually a control thing for me. Six years ago God called our family to foster and then just last month we adopted 2 more daughters. This perfectionism issue is certainly a battle for me in trying to "advocate for and better their lives". I thank you for clarifying what God actually expects/calls us to.
ReplyDeleteToday is my last day in my 30's.
ReplyDeleteI feel so blessed in having a relationship with my Savior, a husband that loves me unconditionally and shows it, three sons that are active and healthy, tight family relationships, close friends, and a view of the Pacific Ocean from my kitchen sink.
I also struggle with perfectionism when it comes to my weight. Why is it all or nothing? How can I be "good" and then just lose all reason and "go off the deep end" and have no self control? I do what I don't want to do. I recently gained 40 pounds during the pregnancy with my third son. He's now 6 1/2 months old and I have 19 lbs. left to lose. As I process, it's not so much the weight that bothers me, it's the abandonment of all reason and the fact that I continue to eat when I'm full. What's up with that? My motives aren't the perfectionism that wants to compare myself with others. I don't have perfect self control. I just want to be healthy and active for my children, to have a high quality of life and to be able to do all that HE has called me to do! When I fail and am not perfect in this area, it leads into a fast downward spiral.
I will meditate on the Scriptures you shared today and I pray that God will strengthen my Spirit. Tomorrow, after all is a new decade!
I also shared this blog and giveaway with my daughter that also suffers from perfectionism. So this is my second entry.
ReplyDeletePerfectionism is an issue for me in many ways- one way I see frequently, however, is in being a mother. I am working on not comparing myself to other moms! It's hard.
ReplyDeletePerfectionism is something that I have always struggled with, but I got older, got married and had kids, it became even more of a challenge. I found that not only did it become harder to reach my goal of perfection (i.e. keeping a spotless house has become a distant memory), but there was more pressure to perform. More was expected of me and there were more people to let down (or so I thought). It became a major source of stress for me and even at times, resulted in conflict in our marriage. Then in the past year or so, we experienced some major changes in our lives - my husband went back to school, he lost his job, and I had to take on yet another part time job - and I found myself feeling completely helpless and powerless. Not a comfortable feeling, especially for someone like me who likes things to be perfect. However, it came to a point where I really had no other choice than to let go and let God. I realized that I had absolutely NO control over things that were happening. The amazing thing is that through all this, I have begun to understand that it is not my "perfection" that glorifies God, but rather my weakness and imperfections - 2 Cor 12: 9 "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
ReplyDeleteNot to say that I don't still struggle with perfectionism - it still rears it's ugly head from time to time. But I have felt an incredible burden lifted and a freedom I hadn't felt before. I know that my weakness and imperfections are what Christ chooses to use rather than my need to seek perfection!
If I've learned anything from the book it's that I should be focusing on God as my #1. #1 person I talk to when I'm in need, #1 person I call on when I need to chat, #1 person I talk to when I want to confront a situation. Too often I go to my husband, Mom, or best friend. Too often I attack a situation the way "I" would want to and I should ask for God's help first. Call on HIM first, there's no other way to say it!!
ReplyDeleteI struggle with being the perfect mother. I look at other mothers and how they handle their children and I think, "Man, if I could just be like them. If I could just be the type of parent they are to their children, possibilites would be endless."
ReplyDeleteHazel
I forgot to add that I shared with all my friends on facebook!
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I would call myself a perfectionist, but when I set out to do something I can't do anything else until that one thing is done, for example when I help my children clean their rooms. I always harp on where it should go and it should always be put in the same place and the next day when it is a mess again I am frustrated. I know that they are just being kids however I only think about how much time I put into getting it just right and now its back to the way it was. I always think that I should be doing more, as if being a wife, a mother of 4 and a full time student isn't already enough!
ReplyDeletePerfectionism keeps me from wanting to invite people over to my house, I never feel like it is clean enough.
ReplyDeleteI also have a hard time with compliments, because I always dwell on the things that aren't 100% perfect. I almost feel like a fraud...lol, because people think something I do is great, but I know it's flaws.
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ReplyDeletePerfectionism is an issue for me in many ways- one way I see frequently, however, is in being a mother. I am working on not comparing myself to other moms. It's hard.
ReplyDeleteDue to a typo in my last comment, I had to delete it and repost. LOL!!! I placed a link to your giveaway on my facebook profile.
ReplyDeleteGod bless!!
I grew up in a perfection driven family. So naturally it would carry over into my adult life. Then when I had kid's, friends started calling me "supermommy". That made me feel as though I HAD to live up to some perfect picture that everyone in my life had created. Not so. It turn's out I created that image. By always having my nails done, hair done, clothes just right, kids of course dressed as cute as can be, with no stains and my husband as neat as possible. Always on time, and always have thought threw any possible emergency, even if there was no chance that a hurricane would hit us in April. And of course I have extra's of whatever the kid's have incase a little friend would like some as well! Some of it is my OCD. Some of it is just the feeling that I am not good enouh if I am not perfect. It was great to read your devotional and then your blog today. I will be back every day this week to see what information I can gather and insight.And hopefully some encouragment to let go of the perfectionist with in. I will be here at 12:45pm every day...or maybe just maybe, I might actually be a minute or two late.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this devotional. I have been journeying down the road of "what-ifs" as my father is being worked up for cancer. I believe God is in control but fear of my remaining time with this wonderful man has wayed heavy on my heart. Then I read your words "If God created life, He alone gets to define it". It is my responsibility to embrace this time. How that quote has blessed me today Rachel!! I plan to post this on face book when I get home. I plan to also buy your book within this next week.
ReplyDeleteMy perfectionism shows up in the little things...shoes or dishes not where they belong...but most of all on me, myself and I. My husband says I am my worst critic.
Thank you!!
Believing Him~Pamela
Thank you for this devotional. I have been journeying down the road of "what-ifs" as my father is being worked up for cancer. I believe God is in control but fear of my remaining time with this wonderful man has wayed heavy on my heart. Then I read your words "If God created life, He alone gets to define it". It is my responsibility to embrace this time. How that quote has blessed me today Rachel!! I plan to post this on face book when I get home. I plan to also buy your book within this next week.
ReplyDeleteMy perfectionism shows up in the little things...shoes or dishes not where they belong...but most of all on me, myself and I. My husband says I am my worst critic.
Thank you!!
Believing Him~Pamela
I was just having this conversation with a friend at lunch last week.... We cannot be perfect because there was only ONE perfect and that is Jesus Christ, but somehow we still attempt to strive for that and that's what frustrates me the most, deep down I know that I can never be perfect, or my house will never be perfect but somehow setting that goal and knowing that I can never reach it only makes me feel disgusted with myself....something that I am currently working on....trying to just let things be the way they are....I know that God loves me and he knows that I am no where near perfect but he still loves me inspite of that should be enough.
ReplyDeleteIt shows in every area of my life... look around my house... many uncompleted projects because I don't have the "time" to do it right. I don't do anything well or I just don't start anything because I can't do it the way I want to or am overwhelmed. So instead, I keep feeding myself lies and believe them.
ReplyDeleteNothing quite like a free giveaway to get the internet buzzing - and this is a great one! Thanks for the chance.
ReplyDeleteI confess that the only issues I have ever experienced with perfectionism is with my husband's and not my own.
My personality is more relaxed and go with the flow. Although the fear of failure has told me I am not good enough to try and has paralized me in the past. I am learning that even then, when the fear grips tight and says no - that my answer has to be an obedient YES!
Wow.... how powerful the written word. Perfectionism has been a constant in my life for such a long time, I'm not sure how to get rid of it. One step at a time. But where to start?? Why do we feel this need to be perfect? Is it so difficult to accept that someone could love us just for who we are? Most days ... yes. I'am so thankful for God's grace and the fact that Jesus loved me, just me, enough.....
ReplyDeleteMolly
I've added a tweet and a facebook listing - and also requested your friendship and follow. I hope choose to discover the inspiration words that you are sharing!
ReplyDeleteThanks for this blog. I came here specifically for the Kindle contest entry (being honest here). Started to read other women's comments. Perfectionism has had a death grip on me in the past in the form of obsessions. I know that unless I understand and internalize God's deep love for me, and His grace and mercy, I will never find peace in any form. I will never be able to extend that same love to others. Yet, a part of me is so afraid to just believe and accept this gift -- God's love. I get glimpses of it, I inch closer to Him, then run away, terrified of wrath, judgment, punishment. It's like being on a Tarzan swing -- swinging in close to God, then far away again. Anyone else recognize this pattern? I'm asking for some sister advice here, please. Thanks for this blog!
ReplyDeleteFor me the down side to perfectionism is procrastination.
ReplyDeleteI need the perfect notebook and then the right pen with the right color ink. I don't go out like I'd like to because I've gained weight and don't look like I want to. I don't write like I want to because everything has all ready been said so why would I have anything relevant to say? I don't clean like I should because I don't have the right cleaner for a specific job. It goes on and on and on!! If I were employed I'd certainly buy your book, Rachel because it looks like something that would be very helpful.
Im amazed at how many anonymous comments were left here. I now see how many women trully struggle with this issue which in reality is sin. I know this yet im still shackled. I pray Jesus will set me free and I know he will yet I hesitate. Im being honest with you all and myself when I realize I am a perfectionist. I was not before marriage and kids I was relaxed an enjoyed everything. Now things are different. I feel as i should have the worlds acceptance. Im always comparing myself to people & getting depressed when I dont measure up. Its not enough that my husband and I own our own business but I have to go back to school to finish my degree. It was not enough to lose the pregnancy weight i have to look like the models in the magazines with a flat stomach. Its not enough to work out and be healthy i need to run a half marathon. I always set goals so high that i know i can not reach i know this is not healthy spiritually or physically. I need to compare myself to Jesus and his word and chose to strive for his perfection and not the worlds. I will be praying for all of us women that God would set us free from all of these chains of perfectionism. I was blinded but I know Jesus light will set me free but i need to accept that. He makes me good enough just by being a forgiven daughter of the King. This is the truth i need to hold onto.
ReplyDeleteThe neurotic description of a perfectionist in your blog today describes me. It is a constant struggle for me to focus on the inside/character instead of the outside/performance. It rears it's ugly head daily in my relationship with my husband and children. God lead me to read this today and I'm thankful for a reminder of God's grace and that he will carry me to perfection in Him. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteGod has been faithfully dealing my perfectionist issues, but they certainly creep back in. I've been sewing some little bags and things for a craft fair and when I try a new pattern, if it doesn't turn out exactly perfect, I've been flipping out and getting all stressed because I can't possibly sell something - expecting someone to pay money - for something I made that isn't perfect. In fact, once this craft fair is over, I pretty much figure I'll hang up the "sew things to sell" gig.
ReplyDeleteI'm a perfectionist in two areas mostly! House cleaning-especially if someones coming over. I can't just do a little; I will exhaust myself over getting everything just right. Secondly, I'm a perfectionist over writing on my blog. Started it to get in the hang of writing more. Now I get so hung up on what someone might think about it that I hardly post anything. It's sheer madness at times.
ReplyDeleteI'm a perfectionist in two areas mostly! House cleaning-especially if someones coming over. I can't just do a little; I will exhaust myself over getting everything just right. Secondly, I'm a perfectionist over writing on my blog. Started it to get in the hang of writing more. Now I get so hung up on what someone might think about it that I hardly post anything. It's sheer madness at times.
ReplyDelete