"Well, I don't work... outside the home, that is. So I find that I have all sorts of feelings about that. Should I have chosen a career path? Could I do more to relieve my husband's stress? Will my children respect me even if I don't acquire some type of worldly success? I could go on and on... all that to say that there are debates on either side of the fence, the sense that we haven't chosen the right path no matter what the choice was."
I think she's right. I got a master's degree and promptly stopped working because I got pregnant. I'd decided years before that I wanted to stay home with our kids through their preschool years. So I spent several years as a stay at home mom changing diapers and sweeping up Cheerios wondering if all the work in grad school would ever bear any fruit.I sometimes worried that I'd shot my career (whatever that was going to be) in the foot. And that bothered me. I was never the type of girl who only dreamed of being a wife and mom. But if I hadn't stayed home with my young kids, I would've felt I'd be doing them a disservice. And there's the rub. It seems liked either way I'd be shooting someone or something in the foot. So I shot my career.
Only I didn't fully shoot my career. At least not fatally. Once I was able to get a full night's sleep and complete sentences again (smiles), I started writing freelance articles for regional parenting magazines. It didn't pay much, maybe $40 a month. But it gave me a creative outlet, and a different kind of satisfaction than I got caring for and teaching my young children. (I have learned to fight the urge to feel guilty saying that.)
And it gave me a way to get that satisfaction while still investing heavily in my family. I worked a few hours a month from home. Other moms may get that satisfaction through scrap booking, or photography, or running the PTA, but I am a words girls. I have to string words together.
So what have you shot?
How have you balanced the work-family thing? Do you have any regrets? What work, outside of your family, gives you a sense of satisfaction or purpose? I think we can learn from each other here. And I'll draw a winning commenter on Friday to receive a copy of my book It's No Secret.
This is a tough one for moms. I have a 4 1/2 year old son, a 3 year old daughter, and we're adopting another daughter later this year and she'll probably be 2. All 3 kids have some sort of special need. And I'm 38, so no spring chicken over here!
ReplyDeleteI am trained as a Math Teacher. For the last couple of years, I have been able to teach online classes part-time at my local community college. It's perfect for this stage in our lives. (I'm still paying off my student loans, so I felt terrible when I wasn't working at all.)
My fabulous hubby assumes I will go back to working full-time once all the kids are in school. I'm not so sure about that. There will still be field trips, IEP meetings, after-school activities, and volunteering at their schools. So we'll see.
I am learning to not be so hard on myself about this issue. Right now, my babies need me at home. They are only babies for a such a short time. Just because life is one way right now, doesn't mean it will be that way forever. Many things can change in different seasons of our lives.
I do want to earn more money at some point so that we can help our kids pay for college, weddings, etc. But we will see what the future holds.
This is such a loaded topic... no pun intended. I am learning that focusing on my children in these early years was the best choice I could make for various reasons ~ I had not completed my college education, and my husband works crazy hours thus making the need for me being home much greater than in most families. Now that my youngest is in kindergarten, I am pursuing my long-time dream of writing a novel! The timing has been perfect... I am right where I need to be emotionally to write the story I have on my heart, and I have the time to do it. I think, for me, the longing for career or life outside the home stems completely from selfishness and pride, and that's something I have to work on. I have had to learn to NOT compare myself to other moms and do what is best for my situation, even if it means writing all day and getting a shower at 2:00 before my children come home from school! Oh, I can't wait to hear what others have to say about this post!
ReplyDeleteI work full time since I was right out of college. When I had children, I desperately wanted to be at home with them but our finance would not provide a way for that. I have struggle for the last 8 years as a working mother. I do not enjoy it. I want to be at home nurturing my now 7 year old girl, 5 year old boy, 3 year old girl, 1 year old boy. Working is very hard for me. I have a secure job with good benefits and have been here for 14 years. Is this my dream job? No! I usually dread coming to work and facing my long day and can’t wait to get back home to my family. And then there is the whole balance act you play. There is so much to do at home in such few hours. I can’t balance it all and I feel like my family and my home suffer from it. I don’t feel like a good mother or wife and that eats at me every day. I just pray that the Lord will provide a way for me to be at home.
ReplyDeleteI'm a full-time lawyer with a 7-yr old son. My husband is a lawyer as well. At times, it's hard to balance everything, but I do enjoy working outside the home. I make every effort to stay involved in my son's school - volunteering for "Book & Bite," etc. I think it would be better if I could limit my hours and have a little but more control over my schedule (work from home some days, etc.)
ReplyDeleteSorry, clearly I am too frazzled to proofread - meant to say "bit" instead of "but."
ReplyDeleteI happily shot my career. I had only been graduated with a bachelors degree when I became pregnant with my daughter. We had been trying for 8 years to have a baby so it was an easy choice. And I am thankful everyday for the opportunity to be a SAHM now. I do find though that I need some sort of creative outlet-scrapbooking and photography actually-and was beginning to feel guilty about the time I was spending on them until I read your last post. It reminded me that God is a creator. He is creative and being EVERYTHING he created us to be is a way of honoring him and worshiping him. I don't know if I will ever go back to work out in the world but I know that my family is my treasure and where my heart is.
ReplyDeleteI shot my career as an opera singer. Being gone for weeks at a time just didn't do it. I even tried nursing long-distance! (Pumping, freezing, FedEx-ing...) But there were a few key moments when I realized that I'd rather be "on the stage" of my home. Tricky thing, though: my kids are old enough now that they don't need me as much, but the career bridge is burned... Looking for a new one... Trying to use my voice to tell about God now (writing, speaking). I guess now I'm "shooting for the moon!" :)
ReplyDeleteWhen my daughter was 2, the geneticist told me to get a life. I found a creative outlet that helped to get some money into the home. 9 years later, I can still be home when I want. At the same time, one year ago I was blessed with a part-time job when my husband was out of work. I am still learning who I am and just want to make certain that God is pleased with each avenue he grants.
ReplyDeleteI decided to quit a very good paying job several years ago to stay at home with my son until he was school age. It was a leap of faith. It basically cut our income in half. But it was so worth it. At the time(when I was making the decision) I remember thinking. I don't want to look back when my son is in college and regret not having spent this time with him. It was the right decision for us. I started writing again, I stated leading a ladies bible study at church and now I am back working only part-time with animals. I decided that although it doesn't pay much I am doing thing I LOVE...writing, ministry, and animals. That makes all the difference in the world.
ReplyDeleteI'm shooting one future for the mere possibility of another. It's making my mother crazy.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say I shot my career - more like held it up. I was so glad to have the luxury of staying home with my kids when they were little and God has graciously let me fashion a career over those years that lets me work from home. As they need me less, I can take on more work but still have those moments free for after-school activities, field trips, sick days and all the things they still need me for. I have become a strong believer in the seasons that God brings to our lives and so when it feels like something is off kilter between work and family time, I don't consider ending my career, but only reexamining what season it may be in.
ReplyDeleteI am still trying to balance the work/family thing. I wish I could be a stay at home mom but I also know that many stay at home moms also wish they could work. Are we never satisfied??
ReplyDeleteI am blessed that as a teacher, I can feel like a stay at home mom during the summer months!
Blessings,
Kendra
www.abusywomanslife.com
That is a hard question but I did stay home with my children when they were young and it was hard to re-enter the work force. But looking back it was the right choice. The career is never as fulfilling as the creation of children.
ReplyDeleteI followed God & took the leap of faith & have become a SAHM.However,recently my husband's salary got cut & I'm now trying to find something to help out our income.This is such a hard thing to do,to find a job that works around your childrens' schedules.I have 4 kids they are 16,14,7,4 .The last 2 are adopted & that's when I knew God wanted me to help them through the adjustment time & I'm so thankful I did.I would appreciate prayers that I could find a job part time that will help with the income but not hurt the family dynamics!
ReplyDeletei have my BS in education. before we had kids I too worked. Substitute taught in the school system. Now 19 years later I've been home with the kids. Sometimes it scares me to think in two more years I'll probably be thrust back into the work force when baby is out of the house. the way education has advanced I feel almost inadequate to be in the field these days since I've been out so long.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I ever did it right. I have 2 children 12 & 14 and have always worked. When they were very young I juggled my work and home schedule so I could participate in as many things a possible with them, but always felt like I wasn't doing enough. The first time I dropped my baby off at day care I cried all the way to work. That was definitely not the way I wanted my life! But, my husband was trying to get a business off the ground. Someone had to provide insurance and a steady income. Fast forward to today. They don't need me as much. They do many things with their friends and that is the first choice for them. We are here to provide the taxi service, feed the hordes of high schoolers and occassionally help with homework. I still feel like I don't do enough, but spend most days "dancing as fast as I can"! In a few short years, my oldest will be off to college and I won't have to dance quite so fast, but I know I will miss the hectic schedule. I made the choice to continue working while raising my children. I also made the choice to sacrifice my free time to do as much with and for my children during these short growing up years. Along the way I have wished I did things differently, but overall our family is happy and healthy, and our children don't seem to have regrets that one of us isn't home more for them. It is a very difficult choice and decision.
ReplyDeleteI never did finish college due to marrying young and allowing my husband to finish college. I worked full time while he was able to go to school full time. When I became pregnant with my first child, I worked part-time, then quit altogether before he was born. Staying at home with the kids was always the plan for us. 14 years later, it still works.
ReplyDeleteNow, as my youngest just turned 10, I am thinking about going back to school myself. I'll be honest, it scares me. So, I keep on praying about it and if it is in God's will, I know he will make it happen.
I shot my guilt. Leaving my job to stay home with my daughter was the right choice for me. But I missed working, and that made me feel guilty. I started working part-time from home as a freelance writer and found enormous fulfillment and balance in my life. I felt guilty that the privilege of being home with my daughter wasn't enough. Sometimes I do have to work when my daughter is at home, and that made me feel guilty. Guilt is a theme in my life. I guess I'm still shooting it.
ReplyDeleteI'm a words girl too! I started writing Spoecial Education Bible Study curriculum right before I goit married. I Stopped for a few months after Zoie was born. But I couldn't stand it so I started again. When she started school I began doing Both Special Ed and Women's conferences and at first would not go where I would be gone more than one night. Now that she is in middle school I have went further and stayed longer.
ReplyDeleteI love my family but I need that time to minister and serve. These ministries give me a "life boost" so that I can serve them well here at home.
I recently took a voluntary lay-off from my job. I had spent many months agonizing over the career path that I chose in college and started to feel I was at a dead end. The Lord convicted me that I was letting my career define me.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I also have also been struggling with trying to have a child..so with that came more insecurities of "what am I here for?"
But through this period, The Lord has shown me that what He has given me, and all of us, is TIME. Whether we are busy with a job, at home raising children, or at home figuring out what our next move is...we all still have TIME.
So Rachel, just like your devotional was based on this morning...I am burdened to make the use of my time and be intentional with the people God has placed around me. We are all made for a purpose...even tho right now I don't have a career by the world's standards as of yet...I can be used in mighty ways by the Lord..as can all of us!
Be blessed!
~Colleen Young
I happily gave up my job to stay at home with my kids. My husband and I have twin toddlers. That is my career choice - at least for now. Along with giving up my career we also gave up going out, a bigger house, newer cars, etc. I would not change a thing. Best decision I ever made. Times get tough financially, but I know this is God's direction for me. Hopefully when our children are in school, I can get back into teaching and I will still have the same hours as them and spend time with them.
ReplyDeleteI have been a stay at home mom for eight and a half years now. I have a 2, 4, 6 and 8 year old. Man, lots of work!! I am extremely thankful that I have been able to be at home with them, however, I would be lying if I said I never felt like a career would bring fullfillment. There have been many times during the day I have wondered "what difference am I making in this world?"
ReplyDeleteThen when I stop and refocus, I realize this is what God has called me to do at this time in my life. It's definately not always glamorous, but so worthwhile.
I do think I will probably re-enter the working world in the future, but not sure exactly doing what at this point.
As far as balancing goes, I started a Laundry Ministry in our small hometown. It was an existing ministry around the US called Laundry Love Project. Several volunteers from our church go to our laundry mat one Saturday a month and we pay for everyone's laundry. We also provide lunch. Our church pays the cost of all this. I think it has been a blessing to some in the community and has for sure been a blessing to us to be able to reach out and help others and share God's love. I really love being able to serve in this way and pray God will open more doors for me in the future.
I wrote the one about the Laundry Ministry, but signed in under my husband's name! Sorry!
ReplyDeleteI stayed home for 18 years to care for our five children. We had to do with less material things, but it was worth it to me years later when they thanked me for being there for them. Nurturing takes time and God has given us this day....
ReplyDeleteI had my first child at 39 and so wanted to be a stay at home mom but just couldn't give up my job. I was in middle management and making good money. Thank goodness God knows the desires of our heart because I worked for 9 months and was downsized right before my daughter turned one. I did not look for other employment. Four year later, I had my second daughter and did not return to work until personal tragedy forced me to. My desire to be with my children was honored because the work I found was part time and I could see my girls off to school and be there when they got home. During the summer months, we lived on $300.00 per month and never went without what we needed. God has continued to bless us. I still work part time and spend as much time with my now teenage daughters as possible. We have not had an abundance of material wealth but the bonds we have created are worth more all the money in the world.
ReplyDeleteAh, dear Rachel! I just turned 58, and my life has been a circus of jobs and life experiences, including rearing and homeschooling 5 young'uns, working alongside my husband in his advertising agency, running a horse riding school, seven years spent on the foreign mission field, grandmothering 10, writing, illustrating, and my current passion, digital design. It's amazing that if you look at the path I've followed, it's a hodge-podge of twists and turns. But when we stood at the top of the hill, ready to leave for Russia, turning around we saw that the path was perfectly straight. "Make straight the paths" was what God did for us, and I wouldn't give one moment away. Sure, I might tweak some things... but never give them away totally. God has a way of taking all your todays—if you'll let Him—and creating a tomorrow that lasts into eternity. And I'm so grateful, because there are still a LOT of things left for me to do, should He tarry!
ReplyDeleteAs I have stayed home now for going on two years to raise my 3 children ages, 4,2,and 1. It wasn't a decision that was made for their best interest but because of finances funding daycare was not going to work. I worked 40 hrs at a job I didnt like but it financially helped my husband. At times when it got tough or I needed a break I often wondered if I had made the best decision. Until a couple months ago, doors opened for me to start designing. I have had a passion for art but gave it up with the birth of my children and labled it just a hobby that i would enjoy again someday. In trusting god and putting school, and work on hold to take care of my family he has opened doors for me to start using my art for income and without schooling! He is amazing. And I have been able to teach my children about him and just love on them that everyone of them is eager to pray including my 1 yr old son. I am blessed!
ReplyDeleteOh I wish I had stayed home more when my kids (now 12 and 14) were younger. I love my work but hated having them in day care year round and not being able to spend more time with them in the summer. I am convinced they are happy and healthy kids, but do counsel young moms to spend as much time as they can with their kids while they are little, if they are struggling with this issue. I've been thinking recently about writing a blog for moms who work and love Jesus, their families and their jobs. It would be about balancing and being guilt free. Maybe you could share those tips on planning?
ReplyDeleteI HAVE REGRETS!!! I chose the military over my son as well as a divorce. I turned him over to my "ex-husband". I was stationed in Japan; even though one of the officers told me that would be a bad move since I had a son, a one year old son.
ReplyDeleteYears went by and I only saw him a few times...I got out of the Navy after meeting another Iowa man, I thought wow, I am getting a second chance to move to where my son was. I wanted him to live with us and he did not want to live with me, I was way to strict plus I was a stranger!!!
Then God opened my eyes and my husband's - we accepted Jesus into our lives. My son was 23, of course I wanted him to know Jesus. He told me flat out that he wasn't going that way, he didn't want to be a "Jesus Freak". I tried to explain to him what knowing Jesus was to me, but could I blame him for not "listening to me"?
I rarely see him now, we talk once in awhile, I have helped him out a few times, but even though he lives in the same town we just don't see each other except when he "needs" something. He is almost 30 now and I have had to "stand back and watch" him make some very wrong decisions.
The choices we make -- a child over a career - OH IF I COULD ONLY HAVE A DO OVER! I am thankful though Jesus has forgiven me and at times I can say I have forgave myself, but have I?
I did not stay home with my children and there are times I ask myself if I was selfish or a bad mother for choosing to work. I enjoy what I do (most days) but I also love my children and they are now grown. My daughter is a registered nurse working as a heart transplant cocrdinator. My son is in college taking marketing and business while working to help with his rent and food. So when I look back on it, I guess they were not scarred by the fact I worked.
ReplyDeleteI am really struggling and I don't know why. I have raised my 3girls and the youngest is 19 now.
ReplyDeleteI still don't want to get a job just for the sake of getting a job for money.
I want to use my gifts and fullfill by potential that God wants for me. I am not afraid to work or lazy.
I just can't seem to get a clear picture of what that looks like and it doesn't help when your husband comes ohome from work every day and asks so how is the job search going.
I have a BS in Child and Family Development, which is a blessing because I gave up working outside the home to raise 5 children:) I guess God really knew what I needed to prepare for in my life. I used to teach preschool and now those teaching skills are coming in handy as we raise our own children (ages 7, 6 , 4, 2 and 1).
ReplyDeleteI willingly left the work force to become a SAHM but I still struggle with the world's attitude of Do More to Be More. I must constantly ask the Lord to keep my focus on keeping my home in order. The enemy tells me that having an orderly home is not a job and I have trouble with all the distractions that life (and even church activities) can bring. I wouldn't trade being home with my kiddos for the world but only with God's help do I enjoy the housework part of being a SAHM.
Since I am a mother, grandmother and even a great grandmother I am past the years of being able to balance family and careers. However, at one time I was there and I will say without a doubt that I have many regrets of not choosing "family" over "finances and careers".
ReplyDeleteGiven the chance to do it over and have the knowledge that I have now I am positive that my spouse and children would have taken precedence over "material things".
Really that is what "careers" are all about. "You train in a career in order to make more money to have more things". Agree???
Take the advice of a person who has "been there and done that", shoot the careers with just a wounding shot and make your family your priority because believe me....the children will grow up and be gone in "the blink of the eye" and the wounded career will be there for you to heal and take up again.
My children are grown, but when they were young I did both: stay-at-home with the first 2 and working mom with our third child 7 years later. Looking back as an older mom, I know that staying at home was the right decision for me. As young people we sometimes find it hard to live beyond the "right now" thinking that everyday will be like "this" day. Time passes so quickly, we are as a vapor, and the short time we get as mothers to be with our preschool children is precious. Yes, I had a college education, yes we were very limited with money, yes I only got a new dress for my birthday and never got "name" shoes until they were in school and I went to work full-time outside the home. In light of eternity and in our quiet times, we would all say that those things are definitely temporary, worldly desires. I don't mean to minimize the struggles of staying home, whether financial, personal fulfillment or time management. I just know that those years never come back. Children grow up, have friends and school, graduate and have schedules of their own.
ReplyDelete13 years ago, my husband and I made the choice that I would "retire" from a career in court reporting and stay home with our children. My children are now 13 and 11 and I still stay home.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things I've learned over the years is that in our family, it's not important for me to just be home in the first 3 years of life, but it's also important to be home when they're at school, during the summers and most eepecially in those middle school years, it's important to be home when they get off the bus each day.
If they've had a bad day, are they still going to want to talk about it later at night when I finally have the time to talk with them? No. At that point of the day, will I even know they had struggles earlier in the day? When a child has a bad day, they want to talk about it then; so it's important for me to be there when they get home.
Our family recently made an unexpected, God blessed move. As a military family, we've moved a lot, but this time we thought we were done moving, until God put a wonderful opportunity in front of us. The move has been extremely difficult on the kids and I am so thankful that I'm able to drop everything and go the side of the child that calls from school in tears or walks in the door after school in tears, or even when they seem to have lost their spirit. That's my role as their mom and I'll never make apologies for "wasting" the college tuition.
Thank you for your post today. As always, it hit right at "home!" :)
I have the opposite problem. I always dreamed of being a wife "and" mother and staying home with my children. I've been married almost 16 years, but I'm still not a mother. So now I balance work that I want to be temporary with being a wife to my husband. It's hard not to invest in my career because it's what I do, but it's also not what I want to do.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the opportunity to express myself :)
I have a bachelor's degree in education and right now I'm a stay at home mom-I have a 2 wk old and love every minute with him and seeing how wonderful his big sister (she's 10 yrs old) loves him and is so helpful. He is our miracle baby-my husband and I came to expect and accept that we would have one child-we were ok with that but God had other plans and we are SO SO thankful and grateful!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what I'm going to do after Logan gets a little older....I'm very torn. I would like to teach again, but I'm love being a stay at home mommy.
Amy V. in WI
I am a working full-time outside of the home single mom to three children. I have no choice as to whether i can work or not. Does this frustrate me - yes!!! My children are at the age (twins=11, 1=7yr old)that they are more independent but also my help is needed in so many matters such as homework. Finding the right balance to juggle it all is very difficult. In fact it's really weighed heavily on me lately to be able to work from home or have more flexibility for time off when my children are sick. As it is, it's hard to take off when they are sick. i guess we are never satisifed in this area and therefore as moms we will always carry some type of guilt regarding the roles we playing either as workng outside the home or stay at home. I just pray that where i constantly lack...God fills in above and beyond.
ReplyDeleteThis post is so what I went through two years ago, became a stay at home when I had my daughter. It was a struggle as I was a career woman. Wish I would have had the support I do now as it would have made it easier to transition from career woman to new SAHM. I am so blessed and grateful that I am able to be a SAHM. Now I am involved in bible studies and sharing the word of God to others. This is a book that I have now added to my list of must read books as I can see it will be so insightful and a good study to do with other moms. Blessings!!
ReplyDeleteMy wife earned her master’s degree in counseling and, like a lot of people, ended up not pursuing a career based upon her education. She and I own an internet business together and we work out of our home (no, it's not MLM - nothing against MLM’s LOL). She does a wonderful job balancing her work load along with both of our child’s activities who are also involved in sports. Additionally she is involved in the PTAs at both our older son’s middle school and our younger son’s elementary school. I do all I can to help, but quite frankly I don’t know how she does it. She is a great at multi-tasking and she enjoys what she does.
ReplyDeleteI'm a crafty person. My husband used to tell people he had a crafty wife, and laugh at me (I'm so devious, you see). I need some sort of creative outlet, it has been making cards, or sewing, or cooking. Right now my outlet is embroidery with my embroidery machine, and quilting. I love to embroider and quilt a mat for a table that can be given to a visiting missionary, or a friend going through a tough time. I use my creativity to serve God by sharing His love, and my love, with others.
ReplyDeleteI'm the single parent. At this time, I have no choice but to work full time outside the home. It's a struggle to find the balance between that and raising my special needs child. I hope to be able to work part time or from home one day so I can supervise him myself when he's not in school. For now, I do what I can and trust that God will take care of the rest.
ReplyDeleteI am still learning and refining my balancing act. I am a wife, mother, employee and college student. In order to get a majority of the things done on my to do list I do:
ReplyDelete1) make a list: the older I get the less I remember without reminders.
2) delegate when I can: my daughters love to help with dinner so that is a great time for me to teach them while I read or work on a school assignment.
3) I make use of every second in my day.
4) One very supportive husband and kids who are so very helpful as well.
All things don't always line up and it never fails that 2 kids have somewhere to be while the other one needs to be across town. In those times I pray a lot. I try not to sign up for things God has not lead me too. And everything else falls into place.
As I continue to grow as a wife, mother, employee and student I trust God will be faithful and give me enough light for the step I am on.
Blessings to all,
Natasha
I'm starting to find a balance, I think. This year, I returned to the workforce, after a 10 year absence. I am a para professional at my children's school. I work 10 hours a week helping kids with writing. I LOVE my job! That being said, I would love to spend more time one-on-one with some of the kids. There are some kids that need stability that, sadly, they don't receive at home. I'm trying to figure out what to with my newly found passion.
ReplyDeleteI had always assumed that I would have a career, until I got pregnant. I felt like God was telling me that I needed to stay home with our first daughter. So, I did. In the beginning, I felt guilty that my husband was working so hard to provide for us, so I could stay home. But, I've overcome those feelings of guilt and cannot imagine life for our family any other way. I'm very grateful to have the opportunity to be at home with our daughter as long as I've been able to. I pray that I am able to continue to stay home with her.
ReplyDeleteI don't know that I will go back to work. I've thought about doing something at home to add to our family's income- an etsy shop or some other way of creative outlet- but we will see what the future holds.
Although I loved my job as a children's librarian, I planned to be a SAHM for many years and when it finally happened, I was thrilled. Our 2 boys are 7 years apart and although I still enjoy being home and wouldn't have it any other way, I would like to have something like you mentioned, Rachel, to do from home that I was truly passionate about. Children's Librarian is not exactly an at-home job! :-) Writing sounds like one of the perfect things to do from home. Thanks for sharing your passion & talent with all of us.
ReplyDeleteThis is a topic on my mind a lot lately. I have no issues with working moms, but I myself have desperately wanted to stay home since I became a mom, and that is not the case for us. I work full time for a wonderful company, but I have a deep yearning to be at home caring for our house and my kids, and being a strong pillar at home. My husband works very long hours and doesn't have much time at home. Unfortunately, we made some not so great choices before we had kids, and had some unfortunate circumstances and now both must work to stay afloat. I feel like I am missing my kids' early years. Hopefully some day soon I can do a little less at work and be with them more. We are blessed however to have his mom as our babysitter. Our girls get to be with Grandma while we work, and that is special too. I recently started praying about whether I should or could do something else to be home more. I will have to keep my ears open and see where God leads me!
ReplyDeleteI'm still working on balancing the work-family thing...it's hard sometimes b/c as a mom, and I know I'm not the only one who feels this way...it seems that we do for everyone else and never for ourselves. I have an associates degree and I'm working on my bachelor's degree online but my girls as so important I can use my degree later. I've been subbing and I'm trying to get my foot in the door w/ the school district w/ a job so I can be w/ my girls and on their schedule. And my youngest daughter has Cystic Fibrosis so she takes lots of extra care and work.
ReplyDeleteBut satisfaction outside of my family...right now, I'm doing a bible study focusing on what God wants for me, spending time w/ God to give me strength to do all I do and just trying to do everything in my life to just please God.
Regrets, oh yes. How I wish I could have stayed home with my children when they were young. The only since of satisfaction that I have now is working to give my children a college education. I have given up much in order to do so but I'm glad that the Lord has provided my job in order for me to provide for my children. God is so good! My best advice to anyone with children is to savor each and every moment with your children. Time flies quicker as the years pass by. Take time to spend with your children. You won't Regret it!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a tough subject because it seems someone always feels bad about their decisions. Some moms have to work there is no choice and so they make the best of it. When my boys were little that was my situation. I had to work and I felt that was my only choice. I made the best of it as I could. When I got home from work, I spent as much time with them as possible. Some of my housework I let go and also I gave up TV so that I could be with them and be there for them as much as possible. Sometimes I regret not being able to be home with them full time when they were little but I did the best I could with the situation I was in.
ReplyDeleteI understand the challenges of a stay-at-home mom, as that's what I was for 15 years. I am on the other side now, a business owner (albeit a seasonal business) and still mom to one more child at home.
ReplyDeleteWhat I lost during those years: My sense of self! I lost who I was amidst the repetitive needs of others. It has taken lots of soul-searching to find myself again. Now I sing for the Lord and sing in a community choir and this brings me joy and identity.
What I found: I wouldn't trade those years for anything! I was there for everything my kids did, learned, played and created. That is important to me!
My advice to young moms is to find a balance. Have some time outside the home (which isn't parenting classes or mom groups). Find something to keep your sense of self alive.
There is time on the other side. Twenty years after college I used my education to start my own landscaping business, which I love! I now have time to read, write, sing and work! Life is good!
Reading all the posts reaffirms what I have always felt: Moms try so hard to do it all! To be what everyone needs and keep a clean house and somehow nurture that part of us that makes us who we are. With God's help we can do it all. One day at a time.
Here I am at the tail end of a very interesting conversation. ...been a week here at my busy home. I keep two of the cutest littles you have ever seen =)
ReplyDeleteI didn't go to college (nor did hubby), always wanted to be a Mom. I birthed 6 kids in 19 years, worked part-time till my youngest was 3. Then things fell into place for me to be a dept. head, then developed into a Director position where I did some teaching, was part of a team to bring about change....which led to my position to be shot to pieces and I was being replaced. (it was awful!!)
I never thought I could be a SAHM at this age and be content. I never thought we could ever be able to afford it. We are living on half of what we were a year ago. Am I always content?...no. It's hard, there is so much I miss that I had been able to do without giving it a thought. But, I am stress free! I have a cleaner home, I cook decent meals, I can help people! I have the time! yes, I don't shop, I can't purchase every book I would love to read, we don't eat out, I have to clip those coupons and look for food sales. BUT, I am stress free! I don't believe this season will last forever, but for now, I will make the most of it.